Narcissists need gratification like a drug addict needs their fix; it’s their lifeblood. They crave massive amounts of external attention to validate their existence and the specializes they believe they possess.

For a narcissist, the other person isn’t a living, breathing being worthy of their needs and desires. On the contrary, for a narcissist, others are either a source of gratification or nothing at all. There is no middle ground.

When examining how narcissists deal with their past sources of gratification, it always boils down to one thing: how readily that gratification is available to them now.

Let’s explore how narcissists deal with their past sources of gratification versus new ones.

What Is Graduation For Nacre?

To understand why gratification is so crucial for the survival of a psychopathic narcissist, it’s important to examine the personality disorder from an energy perspective.

What Is Gratification For A Narcissist? Characteristics of a Narcissistic Personality

Many of us on this planet have experienced trauma to varying degrees, which has, in turn, affected how we interact with the world around us as adults.

While many of us have dealt with our trauma in a way that has made us more empathetic, narcissists have chosen the opposite path.

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When a narcissist experiences trauma, they decide that what they are feeling is unbearable, and they simply refuse to feel those feelings. As a reaction, they unconsciously abandon their true self, because it was the part of themselves responsible for experiencing those feelings.

By abandoning their true self, they also severed their connection to the divine life force from which we all draw life energy.

This was, in essence, the greatest act of self-denial they could commit.

From that moment on, the narcissist was left with a massive, dark emptiness inside, which did not actually solve their problem.

The narcissist has now condemned themselves to a life of needing to drain the life energy from other, still-healthy souls. This is the only way to temporarily alleviate the burden of inner despair, which represents a dark void within.

When the narcissist severed their true self, only their ego remained in control. This ego created a false self that suited their fabricated reality, all to protect the narcissist from the truth: that they are an imperfect human being, neither special, nor superior, nor more important than any of us.

Life Energy Drain

The narcissist’s need for self-healing with life energy is insatiable. They will never be able to fill their emptiness, yet it is the only thing that grants them temporary relief.

The only true path to healing a narcissist is reconnecting with their inner self. But this also requires them to acknowledge all their flaws and take full responsibility not only for their behavior but also for their deep wounds.

The very nature of narcissism is the primary reason why so few people in this life are able to heal.

There are specific ways in which a narcissist draws life energy from others to constantly feed their false self.

It’s all about attention, which is simply energy. In other words, a narcissist needs a constant stream of attention directed at them, which feeds their ego and keeps their false reality inflated.

You see, in order for their false reality to persist, they need constant confirmation from the outside world that it is “real.”

You can see how narcissists are doomed to a life of emptiness and dysfunction.

Narcissism is a spiritual disease that makes its sufferer believe they are superior, special, and perfect to everyone else. In their false world, they are a god around whom the entire universe revolves.

Narcissistic Supply in Their Daily Lives

There are two types of narcissistic supply: primary and secondary.

Primary Narcissistic Supply

Primary supply is entirely dependent on receiving attention. In the case of primary supply, it doesn’t matter whether the attention is positive or negative; both feed the narcissist’s ego.

This type of supply often comes from those closest to the narcissist, such as friends, family, children, and colleagues.

Examples of Primary Supply:

Admiration, compliments, and flattery; creating (or participating in) chaos and drama; playing the victim; fame and a bad reputation (even within their immediate circle or circle of friends); controlling and dominating others; sex (either obtaining it or abstaining from it as they see fit)

Secondary Narcissistic Supply

Secondary narcissistic supply is based on appearances. This type of supply relies on the false image the narcissist projects to the world and the energy and attention they receive as a result.

This type of supply must be positive in order to feed the narcissist’s ego. For example, if they want to appear wealthy and successful, they cannot risk appearing unsuccessful or financially struggling.

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These things threaten to undermine their entire fabricated reality. They will go to great lengths to protect themselves from these negative images, even if it means harming others.

Examples of Secondary Supply:

Having a “perfect” family, partner, or relationship

Appearing successful

Appearing financially stable

Acquiring material possessions that help them appear wealthy and superior

For more on narcissistic supply, see the article below.

Once you understand how crucial a narcissist is to a constant supply, you’ll understand how they are always in a never-ending cycle of seeking more “better” supply.

When a narcissist feels a shortage of supply, they begin to sink into a spiral of self-loathing, disgust, feelings of unworthiness, and shame. So, they will do anything to prevent it!

Narcissists cut off their consciences when they abandon their true selves. The inability to feel empathy, compassion, and love for others makes them extremely dangerous.

People are merely tools in the hands of the narcissist to gain attention, resources, and validation.

Because of his sense of grandeur, the narcissist believes that the purpose of others is to fulfill his needs. He does not see others as completely independent beings with their own needs and desires.

How do narcissists treat their new victims?

Any new relationship a narcissist enters always seems wonderful (especially on social media). They make sure of it!

The narcissist enters a phase of adoration with the new victim, showering them with love and praise. They will lavish attention, gifts, experiences, and compliments. The new victim will feel euphoric.

At the same time, the narcissist will feel euphoric for a short time. They will believe that this new victim is the solution to all their problems and that she will finally be the one to provide everything they need.

The narcissist will place the new victim on a pedestal because they believe she will fill their emotional void.

During the initial adoration phase, the narcissist will mimic the new victim and pretend to share all their hopes, dreams, and desires. This tactic aims to instill a sense of trust in the new victim, prompting them to open up and share their deepest fears.

These fears and wounds are what the narcissist seeks to exploit. By uncovering the victim’s vulnerabilities, the narcissist can gather crucial information about them. The narcissist studies their new victim to see how easily they can be controlled and manipulated.

They also need to ensure the new victim possesses valuable resources they can offer, such as sex, admiration, money, cooking, cleaning, a home, social status, and opportunities—whatever the narcissist deems valuable.

Related : Why Are Narcissists So Stingy with Money? (10 Reasons)

However, this idealized phase doesn’t last long. Some experts say the average duration of a narcissist’s “love bombardment” is about twelve weeks, but of course, this can vary from case to case.

Eventually, something will happen that makes the narcissist realize this person isn’t the glamorous fantasy they envisioned.

The illusion will shatter, and the narcissist will begin to belittle the new person (just as they did you).

The narcissist will no longer derive gratification from the excitement and fantasy surrounding their new person. So, they will begin to undermine the person’s self-confidence and self-worth in order to maintain control.

Or they might get bored with their current partner and start looking for a replacement, repeating the same toxic cycle with someone else.

Another option is for the new person to be confident enough to recognize the narcissist’s warning signs and withdraw on their own.

A relationship with a narcissist is never about building a beautiful, loving relationship based on trust and cooperation.

A relationship with a narcissist always revolves around one question: “What can they offer me?”