Narcissists experience jealousy in relationships in a unique way, stemming from their perception and understanding of the people in their lives.
In short, whether or not a narcissist feels jealous depends on:
How they categorize you.
Your position in the cycle of glorification, belittlement, and abandonment.
Narcissists view people in a binary way; they are either a resource or they are not. Those who are a resource for the narcissist are either dispensable or highly desirable.
The desired resource has a special allure. They are experienced, charismatic, and emotionally unconcerned. They are a prize to be won. When the narcissist wins such a person, they become intensely attached, especially because they know that this person could leave at any moment. This is where the narcissist’s jealousy arises.
The desired resource also represents something deeper for the narcissist. Because the desired person is an unattainable icon, a more powerful and influential figure, they evoke the image of the narcissist’s harsh parent. As a result, the parent-parent archetype is activated in the narcissist’s mind, reverting to the childhood jealousy they felt toward their biological parents during the Oedipal complex.
But if you don’t conform to this archetype, you become merely a disposable tool for the narcissist. As long as they provide you with sex, attention, services, and consistency, the narcissist will exploit you to satisfy their narcissistic desires. In your absence, they don’t care who you date or are attracted to. And if you’re gone, and they have another source of gratification, they’ll hardly give you a second thought.
Related : Why Narcissists Flip-Flop Between Wanting And Not Wanting You
The only exception to this jealousy of the desired person is during the phase of belittling or abandoning them. If you betray the narcissist and cause them significant harm, they will completely sever ties with you and never want to see you again. But in reality, they don’t care who you’re with.
