It wasn’t long ago that narcissism was considered simply a lot of vanity, albeit a ridiculous one. But now we know that people with narcissistic personality disorder suffer from a mental illness that negatively impacts those around them.

The Twelve Traits of a Narcissist illustrate how those with this disorder live in a completely false world, genuinely believing they are superior to everyone else on Earth.

This is no simple disorder, and the effects of living with such inflated self-importance are devastating for those closest to them. Their constant need for others to share and indulge their fantasies—or else—leads a disastrous life.

If you’re dealing with someone who regularly exhibits the Twelve Traits of a Narcissist, you’ve already taken a significant step toward understanding their nature.

12 Traits of a Narcissist

Inflated Self and a Sense of Entitlement

The first of the Twelve Traits of a Narcissist is an inflated sense of self-importance and a sense of entitlement.

As a result of a traumatic environment, the narcissist’s childhood was so filled with self-loathing, shame, and disgust that he couldn’t bear it. He subconsciously said, “No! I refuse to feel these things.” So, he cut out the part of himself responsible for these feelings—his true self.

Without his true self, all that remained was his ego, which controlled everything.

To keep this ego real and effective, he created a false self, a constantly shifting mask that showed the world what he believed he was to be within his imaginary world.

This false self is a complete distortion of reality and serves to protect the narcissist from the truth—that he is, in fact, a flawed and imperfect human being, just like all of us.

The ego is so powerful that it makes the narcissist truly believe in its own fantastical image of themselves as superior, perfect, and deserving.

The narcissist views others as inferior, mere tools to serve them, to be discarded once they are exhausted. They don’t see people as independent beings with their own needs and desires, but rather as instruments to be used to achieve their goals.

Lack Of Empathy

Our true essence is what gives us the capacity to feel everything that makes us truly human, such as kindness, love, compassion, and empathy.

Because narcissists have lost the ability to connect with their true essence, they can only experience life through the false reality created by the ego. The ego can only function through negative emotions like hatred, greed, envy, manipulation, control, and competition to satisfy its needs.

This is why narcissists suffer from a low level of empathy.

Narcissists possess enough empathy to understand how something affects others’ feelings, but their lack of compassion simply means they don’t care. In fact, they use this meager empathy as a weapon, either feigning it as a manipulative tactic or exploiting your empathy against you to coerce you (through guilt or fear) into doing their bidding.

In short, your feelings are nothing but a nuisance to the narcissist; you exist to serve them.

Constant_Need_for_External_Value

To maintain their false reality, the narcissist needs constant validation from the outside world that their illusion is “real.”

This is why they are always searching for a source of narcissistic gratification, which can come in two forms.

Types of Narcissistic Supply:

Primary Supply: Obtaining supply through attention (which can be positive or negative).

Secondary Supply: Obtaining supply through appearances (which must be positive).

Narcissistic sustenance is essentially a vital energy that the narcissist needs to extract and steal from others. This is the only way they can temporarily fill their inner void, which replaces their true self.

As for non-narcissists who still retain their true selves, they can naturally access a divine vital energy, enabling them to feel love, empathy, kindness, and compassion without needing to steal it from others.

If narcissists are deprived of this sustenance for an extended period, their fabricated reality will quickly begin to crumble because it is merely an intangible illusion. At that point, you will see the narcissist erupt in anger in some way, because they are compelled to do something to obtain the sustenance quickly before it disappears.

They will then do whatever reinforces their self-created sense of importance, whether it be begging for praise or drawing others into arguments.

Manipulative Behavior

Among the twelve traits of a narcissist, manipulative behavior is one of the most prominent ego traits.

As you can see, nothing authentic remains in the narcissist; they severed their connection with their true self long ago. So how does someone who possesses nothing authentic fulfill their needs? Through manipulation, of course.

They rush headlong into life, believing they have the right to say and do whatever they please. In their illusory world, they are perfect, like gods; nothing and no one is above them. They answer only to themselves.

Although all of this sounds wonderful to them, the bottomless, black void within them remains. This void, which once held their true selves, is now filled with feelings of shame, self-loathing, and disgust far more intense than anything they initially tried to escape.

Now, instead of accessing their own life force to heal these traumas and move toward a healthier life, they are left with only one option: to steal life force from other healthy beings and pour it into their black void, seeking temporary relief from the ever-present threat of being consumed.

The problem with this tactic is that no sane person would willingly surrender their life force to an energy vampire.

This is the very purpose of the narcissist’s false self—the mask they use to manipulate people and trick them into surrendering their energy without their knowledge.

The narcissist’s survival depends entirely on manipulating others, smoothly and convincingly, so they can steal the drug they so desperately need: their narcissistic sustenance.

Excessive_Control

The narcissist’s false self-image rests precariously on their ability to control every aspect of themselves and their surroundings. Their imagined reality is like a meticulously crafted machine, requiring constant maintenance to keep it functioning.

The narcissist must control everything in their world to maintain their version of reality, which they falsely believe to be the truth. Without this excessive control, their illusory world would crumble with every breath.

Irresponsibility

For the narcissist’s fantasy to persist, they need constant feedback from the outside world to continually confirm this narrative; otherwise, it will quickly vanish into nothingness.

Therefore, to keep this fantasy “real,” their ego accepts only information that confirms it.

Any information that contradicts this false narrative must be eliminated to protect this fantasy.

It is important to note here that the narcissist’s imaginary world is a matter of psychological survival, and its shattering is a fate far more devastating than death. It means that they are not perfect, special, or superior in any way. Rather, they are the wretched, shameful entity they so intensely despise.

For this reason, narcissists cannot bear any responsibility for their words and actions, as these serve as irrefutable proof of the falsity of their imaginary world.

Therefore, when presented with information that contradicts their delusion, their ego seeks to destroy the person who brought it to their attention. This is the only way they know to destroy the evidence itself.

How Narcissists Avoid Accountability:

Blaming Others – Directing blame at them

Projection – Projecting their own actions onto others

Psychological Manipulation – Manipulating others’ reality to suit their agenda

Suppression and Punishment – Disciplining behavior that doesn’t serve their interests

Rewriting History – Rewriting the story to fit their fantasy

Playing the Victim – Eliciting sympathy to avoid being held accountable

Boundary Violation

Among the twelve traits of a narcissist is their ability to easily and openly violate others’ boundaries.

Narcissists don’t distinguish between their own boundaries and those of others. In their view of life, others are merely characters in their play, whom they can manipulate and control as they please.

Furthermore, narcissists feel entitled to everything they want in life, and this is part of their delusional superiority complex. If they are the center of the universe and the most important person, why shouldn’t they do whatever they want?

This becomes glaringly apparent when someone sets a boundary that the narcissist doesn’t like. At its core, boundaries are our refusal of things that make us uncomfortable, allowing us to feel safe.

In other words, setting boundaries is like saying “no” to a narcissist.

How dare you say “no” to me! Don’t you know who I am?!

Narcissists are notorious for their ability to violate others’ boundaries without seeing any problem with it. They don’t respect others as independent beings with their own needs, and therefore they disregard any personal boundaries people set.

Their sense of entitlement makes them believe they should be able to access and take anything they want without consequences.

Fragile Self Confidence

As we mentioned earlier, the truth lurking deep within the narcissist is that of a terrified child, filled with unbearable shame and disgust.

This is why they are forced to fabricate elaborate lies and illusions to deceive not only the world around them, but, more importantly, themselves, into believing that they are the complete opposite of that reality.

The narcissist’s fragile ego is undeniable, manifesting in their rapidly shifting moods. One moment they appear perfectly content, and the next, they erupt in anger or withdraw into themselves, feigning victimhood.

Narcissists are extremely sensitive to any perceived insult because they simply cannot accept any information that contradicts their fabricated image. It’s as if their ego is always on high alert, waiting for any attack to pounce on as quickly as possible.

Emotional Instability

As a result of the narcissist’s fragile ego, their emotions are characterized by extreme fluctuations.

They aren’t truly happy; rather, they’ve chosen a life akin to that of a neurotic drug addict constantly searching for a source of gratification.

You’ll notice that when a narcissist receives a significant dose of gratification, they experience a narcissistic euphoria, almost a state of “euphoria.” In this state, they are cheerful, charming, and enjoyable to be around.

But as soon as this gratification begins to fade, they quickly revert to a state of narcissistic depletion, more like a “retreat.” They sense this and realize their desperate need for a quick fix before they sink into the depths of their inner despair.

When a narcissist feels like they’re falling, they somehow release those unwanted emotions, projecting them onto someone else to bear. This is the ultimate denial of their personal wounds because they can’t bear to confront them.

Here, they resort to provoking others into pointless arguments or desperately seek praise through showy or boastful behavior.

Delusions of Success and Power

Because of their belief in their own superiority, narcissists are plagued by delusions of success, power, wealth, fame, or anything else they feel they deserve.

For narcissists who excel in their skills, charisma, good looks, intelligence, or privileges, success and power can become a reality. Grand narcissists often fall into this category due to their openness and excessive self-confidence.

For average narcissists, who don’t possess any truly exceptional qualities, these delusions usually don’t materialize. However, this doesn’t negate their belief that they deserve these things simply because of the image they project of themselves.

Steadfast narcissists, in particular, tend to be withdrawn and resentful of a world they perceive as grossly unfair. They genuinely believe that power, success, and wealth should be handed to them while they relax on their couches, without lifting a finger to earn them.

Narcissists often boast about their dreams of success as if they were absolute truths, but more often than not, these dreams yield nothing. Narcissists are indifferent to long-term results; they seek instant gratification, the antithesis of hard work and success built on solid foundations.

Exploitative_and_Predatory_Behaviors

When a narcissistic child unknowingly chooses the path of narcissism, they are essentially following the path of the predator.

Having severed their ability to heal their wounds and work toward psychological and physical balance, they have chosen a life of plunder and exploitation.

Narcissists are predators by nature because they lack the resources to meet their own needs. They must exploit others and force them to relinquish their energy and resources, as this is the only means at their disposal.

They view the world as a struggle for survival, and therefore, if you oppose their agenda, they will seek to destroy you before you can destroy them.

A_Chronic_Feeling_of_Emptiness_and_Boredom

The last of the twelve traits of a narcissist is their chronic feeling of emptiness. This feeling stems from the immense void within them, a void that once housed their true self.

There is no way for a narcissist to fill this void without reconnecting with their true self, something impossible in this life. Therefore, they are destined to spend the rest of their lives searching for temporary solutions in the form of attention, appreciation, and flattery, just to alleviate that emptiness, even if only for a moment.

This feeling of emptiness often manifests as boredom, because they lack a true self; there is nothing authentic within them.

Narcissists are often found filling their diaries with endless activities, or trying to fill their emptiness with drugs, alcohol, shopping, food, or sex. All of these distract them from being alone with themselves, the part of themselves they deeply despise (even though they refuse to acknowledge its existence).