We, narcissists, love to win. No place is off limits to our kind. Your mind is no exception to that mindset. The frequent application of mind games, and the effect they both had, are consequences that live long in the memory of those who experienced them as a result of their involvement with us.
I state over and over again that games are always being played. I doubt that few would disagree with this statement. However, you should realize that posting mind games, while always a factor in a narcissistic relationship, is not as intentional as you might initially imagine.
In the case of the younger narcissist, the mind games are sideways. They are the result of his instinctive behaviors, reactions, and predetermined methodologies. He lacks the cognitive function to engage in meaningful mental torment, but instead, what arises as mind games is a side effect of the way he acts.
As for the medium term, the application of mind games will sometimes appear to be deliberate but just like lesser mind games, these mind games happen as a result of the way they are designed to think and act, by instinct.
It is with the greatest where true twisted behavior manifests itself as not only mind games as a result of what we do, but we also participate in them knowingly because we know how effective they are in getting what we want and also because we are so good at spreading them.
Related: How Flatterers Can Manipulate and Control in Relationships
To impose bewilderment on a broken and weary mind possesses a dexterity of touch far beyond the brutal application of a fist on the cheek. Evoking confusion from the use of words alone is one of the highlights of the great manipulator’s repertoire.
Accordingly, the mind games that arise from entanglement with a smaller or medium scale arise due to the different defense mechanisms used by those types of narcissists. The greatest considers playing mind games an essential part of the narcissistic relationship, one that is both noble and important and a hallmark of his sophisticated abuse.
These mind games are varied and effective. Anyone who has been on the receiving end of them will attest to the horrible effect they have in creating doubt, fear, worry, worry, submission, and a sense of helplessness. What are some of these mind games?
17 The manipulative mind games that narcissists play
- Second guess.
The act of making you forget your own needs because you are conditioned to think of ours first to avoid some dreadful repercussions if you don’t.
You put your mind over and over again to assess the situation and try to gauge how to respond, what you should do next, what you should organize, how you should look, and how you should act to avoid some further abuse.
- Before the occupation.
By making ourselves so central to your existence and the one thing that matters you always find us wondering. What are we doing now? Who are we with? What do we do? This does not necessarily only happen in devaluation.
When you plant the seeds of addiction during seduction, you find that your mind is focused more and more on us. This is laying the groundwork for you to forget your own needs and become the center of everything about us.
- Reflection.
We convince you that you are falling in love with the kindest, most wonderful person you have ever met. This is achieved by reflecting on what you want in the object of your affection. By fulfilling this need on so many different fronts, you become incapable of falling in love with who you think we are.
Related: 30 Ways In Which Narcissistic Parenting Affects A Child
- Obsession.
Engaging in the mysterious, the incense, and the amorphous, we begin to obsess over ourselves. Once again the focus shifts to us and you ask yourself what does that comment mean? Why is he late? why did he do that?
Your search for clues that don’t exist and search for answers that don’t exist, and you read a lot into often harmless scenarios.
- Gas lighting.
The infamous act of making you question your reality is always the cumulative effect of many different kinds of mind games. You end up doubting yourself and accepting our false reality as the real one instead.
- Jettison.
The act of making you believe that you are about to be ostracized. Comments will be made that we are unhappy with you, that we are fed up with you, and that we have interests elsewhere. Nothing is said outright, nothing concrete, but there are signs that you will be ignored. is not it?
Related: Abuse Doesn’t Always Leave Bruises And Broken Bones: Why The Inner Damage Is Worse
- Jealousy.
“But she’s just a friend.” “How can I be having an affair when we only meet in broad daylight.” “You read a lot into it.”
The appearance of someone we talk a lot about, spend time with, and seem to like and admire is designed to make you jealous and undermine your confidence.
- Mi Colpa.
The complexity and absurdity of our behavior mean that we are unable to understand what is going on. It follows from this that you need to find some sort of answer to give you peace of mind, and so since you have no reason to question us, you decide you must be wrong and blame yourself.
After all, no one gets angry for no apparent reason. You must have done something wrong to provoke us. It’s your fault.
- Projection.
The movement of our defects and unpleasant behavior from us to you. The accusation that you are engaging in the same behavior that we are responsible for. - Character assassination.
brutally unprovoked attacking you, criticizing you for any number of things; how you walk, how you talk, the color of your hair, who your friends are; How did you make coffee this morning? Anything and everything about you will be attacked even though you can’t see the basis for doing so. - Blame shifting.
The defensive step of ensuring you are never blamed or held accountable. Anything that goes wrong, incorrect behavior, or any mishap is up to you. You caused it, you brought it on, and you made it happen.
Although you can see no factual basis for the accusation that has been made against you, this will not prevent it from happening.
- Official denial.
We do not merely deny, we deny with such conviction, determination, and authority that whoever does this is surely the one who must be right, right?
Related: 7 Truths About Life After An Abusive Relationship
- Invasive smear campaigns.
You are talked about, whispered about you, and cursed against your name, at least you think that’s the case. You seem to get strange looks and hear laughter when you walk by certain people, but you never hear anything concrete or certain.
You might be wrong, you might be misreading, or it might just be paranoia. Trying to practice if you get smudged is like trying to catch gas with your bare hands.
- The silent treatments.
The staple in the narcissistic arsenal. Why is he silent? Why did he disappear? What did I do wrong? When will he talk to me again?
- Double standards.
We are so happy and great with everyone else. People talk bad about us, but when the front door slams shut we turn into a monster with you. is this real? Maybe you’re taking it out of context and exaggerating, or maybe you’re doing something that causes this to happen that no one else is doing. - Amnesia.
We deny you’ve done or said something even though you’re positive, fairly well, well, at least reasonably sure, we said. It works both ways because we accuse you of having a false memory like we told you last week we were going out tonight, so why don’t you remember this stuff? Are you doing this to annoy us? Of course, you are.
Related: Victim Of A Narcissist: 7 Characteristics That Can Make You More Susceptible To Narcissistic Abuse
- Lose your mind.
We classify you as a crazy, deranged, maniac who needs help. Oh my God, everyone is thinking of you and we are saints to put up with this behavior for so long. We tell you often, arrange for you to get help, see a doctor or therapist, and accompany you to explain to them how to lose your dull balls.
