Your friends had warned you, your relatives had advised you not to, and your instincts were always a little off, but for better or for worse, you stuck with your partner.

But finally, after seeing the signs and reviewing your past, you are now asking yourself: Am I in a relationship with a narcissist?

It can be difficult to come to terms with the realization that you are in a relationship with a narcissist.

Not only does this mean that you have to start carefully monitoring every interaction you have with your partner, but you also have to make the difficult decision to leave or move on with him.

Related : “Am I toxic?” – 10 clear signs you’re toxic to others around you

In this article, we discuss the three steps needed to deal with your relationship with a narcissist: understanding the relationship, knowing what you want to do, and making your choice and making it right.

Step 1: Understand the relationship
How to know if your partner is a narcissist: Obvious traits and signs
The worst thing you can do is falsely accuse your partner of being a narcissist. It is important to establish the facts before making any major changes to your relationship.

There are many relationships in which one or both partners show signs of narcissism, but showing some signs now and then does not indicate that you or your partner may be a narcissist.

What anyone who suspects that their partner may be a narcissist must understand is that narcissism is defined by a pattern or series of behaviors, not an isolated incident here and there.

Narcissism is not one or two events; It is a personal set that a person performs either consciously or unconsciously.

So what makes a narcissist?

In the heart of any narcissist, there is a void of self-worth. They lack self-confidence which causes them deep pain and they do whatever it takes to ignore and overcome their insecurity.

Their self-loving behavior is ultimately a result of the need to trust and be loved by those around them because they do not believe they deserve to be loved – by themselves or by anyone else.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental and personality disorder that has been described in psychological and mental health literature.

At its core, narcissistic personality disorder can be observed as a combination of the following personality traits:

1) Low emotional empathy: Narcissists have great difficulty reading the feelings of others. They simply don’t know how to feel bad for others in ways that most of us do daily

2) Single-mindedness: Narcissists believe that their thoughts, ideas, and opinions are the only correct choices and mindsets. They find those who disagree with them crazy, and when their opinions are attacked, they consider it a personal crime.

3) Entitlement: Narcissists believe that their wants and needs are just as important to others as they are to themselves. They don’t understand why others don’t prioritize them and their needs.

4) Doesn’t fit: Since narcissists have difficulty registering the emotions of others, they also have difficulty registering different levels of emotions in themselves.

Small issues and big issues are the same for narcissists – if something triggers their anger, they will respond with the same force and violence as if it were the greatest tragedy or crime.

If you suspect that your partner may be clinically suffering from BPD, here are some of the key signs that most narcissists will display during a long-term relationship:

– They talk threateningly: When they lose an argument or want you to change your mind, they often threaten to leave the relationship, hurt you in some way, or conspire with other people against you.

• They believe they are destined for great things: They believe they cannot be compared to others because they were born for greater things. Even if they don’t achieve anything great in life, they have an overwhelming feeling that something wonderful will happen to them.

They are highly emotional: Narcissists can go from the sweetest of lovers to the bitterest and most hateful enemies in the blink of an eye. Emotions don’t seem to make sense around them, they play by their own rules.

• Are constantly manipulating: It can be nearly impossible to recognize this when you’re in the middle of a relationship with a master manipulator, but narcissists are brilliantly skilled at manipulation. They can make people do what they want when they want.
• They feel guilty: Narcissists like to use your conscience against you. If there is anything in your past that they can use to manipulate you, they will dig it up and shove it down your throat.

How can you fall in love with a narcissist?

So, you’re starting to suspect that you’ve been with a narcissist all this time, and you’re starting to wonder: How could I not have known?

Related : 13 brutal signs your friend doesn’t respect you

We understand that you may feel feelings of shame and even embarrassment; It’s like opening your eyes for the first time in a long time and seeing something that everyone around you already knows.

But there’s no reason to beat yourself up over it – as we’ll discuss later in the article, narcissists aren’t necessarily bad people.

In most cases, narcissists do not realize what they are doing, because it seems to them that life is normal. Falling in love with a narcissist is just like falling in love with anyone who has some bad qualities.

Here are some of the most common reasons why people fall in love with narcissists:

1) Narcissists can sometimes be very wonderful people.
Narcissists are master manipulators, which means they have to develop extremely positive traits to get people to do what they want.

Many narcissists have high levels of intelligence, hold powerful positions in their careers and society, live interesting and fun-filled lives, have a good sense of humor, and know how to take care of their bodies and appearance.

With these traits combined, a narcissist can make the perfect partner.

2) Narcissists have an intoxicating charisma.
A narcissist may have difficulty reading other people’s emotions, but they certainly understand how to manipulate their emotions when they want to.

When a narcissist chooses someone to be their partner, they know what it takes to make that person feel chosen, wanted, and very special.

You can feel intoxicated by their charm, and this can continue for as long as the narcissist wants.

3) Narcissists prey on those with trauma histories.
Your exposure to narcissists is not necessarily limited to your romantic partners. Sometimes, the first narcissists in our lives are our parents.

When children are raised by narcissistic parents, they eventually grow up to become adults seeking romantic companionship that offers the same levels of subtle emotional and psychological abuse.

This is why there are many cases where a person cannot see that their partner is a narcissist, but all their friends and family can.

Step 2: Know what you want to do

What your relationship says about you

When you have made it clear that your partner is an undeniable narcissist, it is now important to ask yourself: What do you want to do?

This usually depends on how you perceive your partner to be a narcissist.

Are you trapped in a cycle of abuse and finally waking up to your partner’s reality?

– Have your friends or family mentioned that your partner shows narcissistic tendencies and you decided to think more about his behavior?

• Did you discuss it with your ex-partner and did he tell you that this person is a narcissist?

If you believe that you are losing trust, that you are being psychologically and emotionally abused, and that your partner is taking complete advantage of you, the best option we can recommend to you is to leave the relationship.

But many of us have relationships with narcissists that are not as bad as some think.

After all, narcissists are still just people too. With some patience, any relationship can eventually work out.

According to Judith Orloff, psychologist and author of The Empath’s Survival Guide, the people most attracted to narcissists are empaths.

These people are best described as “emotional sponges” – they prioritize the feelings of others and care little about their emotional satisfaction.

This makes empaths ideal for narcissists, as narcissists look for partners who are willing to provide them with the emotional overload they desire.

However, according to Orloff, the relationship between an empath and a narcissist is doomed to failure because attraction is ultimately toxic.

“What narcissists see in an empath is a giving, loving person who will try to be loyal to you, love you and listen to you. Unfortunately, empaths are attracted to narcissists because initially, it is about a false self. Narcissists present a false self, where they can appear charming, intelligent, and even giving.” Don’t do things their way, and then they get cold, block you, and punish you.