Relationships take hard work; We’ve all heard it before.
But how do you know if a relationship is going through a rough patch or is broken from the inside out?
A toxic relationship can be one of the worst partnerships you’ll ever have, and when you find yourself trapped in one, your entire life can come to a halt.
In this article, we break down a toxic relationship – understanding what it is, the top 10 signs of a toxic relationship, why it happens when to know if you should leave it or fix it, and how to move forward even when you’re still stuck. Adores.
#What is a toxic relationship?
A toxic relationship is described in the name – a relationship that has deteriorated.
When a relationship becomes toxic, every interaction in the relationship can feel wrong or out of place, filled with negative energy that makes both partners uncomfortable, angry, and disappointed.
When someone is trapped in a toxic relationship, they may find it difficult, if not impossible, to extricate themselves without significant effort. There are several reasons for this, such as:
-The relationship was once healthy and happy, and part of you still sees it that way, even if most of it has become toxic.
-You don’t want to believe that the person you loved has become a source of negative energy for you
-You don’t want to believe that you have become trapped in a relationship, as you may feel that you are too emotionally mature to fall into something like this.
But even the best relationships can fall into toxic tendencies until the relationship itself becomes a toxic pool of negative energy.
Habits that were considered cute quirks in the past may now seem like the most annoying things in the world, and attempts to repair a relationship can be misinterpreted as passive-aggressive energy.
Healthy relationships
Compassion, respect, freedom of thought, listening, safety, caring, security, mutual love, healthy differences, sharing
Toxic relationships
Insecurity, jealousy, negativity, abuse of power, mistrust, demeaning attitudes, unnecessary comments, selfishness, demandingness, excessive criticism, and self-centeredness.
When you find yourself in a toxic relationship or suspect that you may be in a toxic relationship, it’s time to figure it out — and then fix it or leave.
#10 Top signs of a toxic relationship
Do you think you may be in a toxic relationship? Here are the 10 most common signs of toxicity in relationships:
1. Mutual avoidance
You used to love spending time together, but now you think of any reason to avoid each other. You sigh in relief when your partner has to go out of town for a few days.
2. Constant self-betrayal
You have opinions and likes and dislikes, but you always find yourself doing something other than what you feel is right, just to please your partner, because you don’t want to make them unhappy.
3. Lack of autonomy
You have lost your identity, and with that, your self-worth. You don’t remember the last time you made a decision that was up to you alone. Your whole life now is “we”.
4. Little white lies
Your relationship has become full of little white lies, simply because you don’t want to waste time explaining the truth, and also because you don’t want to tell the truth.
5. Nothing you do is right
There is criticism about everything. Every time you do something, they always have a comment about what you did wrong or how you could have done it better. They don’t know how to appreciate you anymore.
If you see this symptom or some of the other symptoms I mention in this article, it does not necessarily mean that your partner does not love you. However, you need to start taking action to stop the deterioration of your relationship.
Watch this video now to learn 3 techniques that will help you fix your relationship (even if your partner isn’t interested right now).
6. Unhappiness
You’re just generally unhappy and negative. When they walk into the room, the first thing that comes to mind is: “Oh my God, what now?”
7. The victim’s partner
Maybe you and your partner have gone through some tough times and are trying to move on, but you can’t, because they keep referring to the past, and portray themselves as the victim. The effort to be better is only in one direction.
Related : Divorcing a narcissist: 14 things you need to know
8. Envy and jealousy
Instead of celebrating you for your awards and personal achievements, they just dish out envy and jealousy, wish they could have them, and make you feel bad because of it.
9. Endless drama
No matter how simple and simple your life is, your partner always magically finds a way to stir up some new drama if they don’t have a soul.
10. Constant disrespect
Your partner is actively disrespecting you in completely unnecessary ways, even when no fighting is occurring.
If you’re still not sure that you’re stuck in a toxic relationship, just ask yourself the following questions:
1) Is your partner happy with who you are, or do you always have to be a different “you” to make them happy?
2) Is your give-and-take equal, or does one person put in or take more?
3) Do you feel better or worse about your identity after spending time with your partner?
4) Do you have more moments of anger and drama or more moments of contentment and happiness?
5) Do you generally feel drained or energized when you’re with your partner?
Related: Love bombing: 15 ways narcissists use it to control you
#Why do healthy relationships become toxic? Here are 3 common reasons
Healthy relationships are full of love. Whether it’s with a best friend, a parent, or a romantic partner, a healthy relationship is a source of positivity, happiness, and love; Feelings that make us feel good, content, and ready to conquer the world.
So it should stand to reason that everyone involved would want to do everything they can to keep such relationships healthy.
However, time after time, healthy relationships break down.
Couples who once seemed bound to spend the rest of their lives together telling stupid jokes eventually end up bickering and sniping at each other, turning ordinary situations into sources of hatred and bitterness.
How does this happen, and why does it happen so frequently? Why do so many relationships fail to protect the “good” of their bond, allowing it to crumble and fall apart?
Here are some reasons why even the most romantic people find themselves struggling with love:
1. Boredom
Common fonts:
“We never do anything together.”
– “Do you want to eat there again?”
– “I’m sick of you.”
The first reason is also the simplest, which is that people are bored. Many people treat dating as a hobby.
They swipe on dating apps, send virtual likes, hugs, and kisses, and find themselves delighted by the thrill of dressing up, looking pretty, and going out to meet a new potential partner for the first time.
Dinner, laughter, and if all goes well, maybe even sex.
Without realizing it, countless men and women in their 20s and 30s have turned dating into their primary hobby.
While other people spend their weeknights reading books or playing video games, people who date out go out on dates. The problem is that they don’t realize that.
So when they finally find “the one” that makes them delete their dating apps and stop spending every weekend night out on the town on a date, they lose the essential time dump that has been keeping them busy for years.
This is replaced by the newness of love, commitment, and building a life with someone new, but eventually, that newness wears off.
The act of being together passively becomes less tempting, and maintaining excitement becomes an active requirement.
The novelty of falling in love and lying on the couch becomes boring, and partners have to work actively to keep the relationship alive.
This means going on surprise dates, planning new activities, and trying to move on.
However it requires the participation of both partners; If only one partner is actively planning what activities to do and events to attend, he or she will feel annoyed because all the effort is coming from him.
After months or years of this, you end up with partners who are still technically in love but are exhausted and disillusioned.
They want something more out of their life, and they’ve convinced themselves they’ve found the person they want to do it with, but they no longer have the energy to even bother.
Click here to watch an excellent free video with tips on how to reverse an old or boring relationship (and much more – it’s worth watching).
The video was created by Brad Browning, a leading relationship expert. Brad is the real deal when it comes to saving relationships, especially marriages. He is a best-selling author and gives valuable advice on his popular YouTube channel.
Here’s a link to his video again.
2. Missing expectations
Common fonts:
“Why don’t you want to do anything at all?”
“I’m just trying to make you better.”
– “I’m happy the way I am!”
A serious relationship is much more than just dating.
While dating is casual, mysterious, and exciting, a serious relationship is supposed to evolve beyond that.
You’re not only committing your love to your partner, you’re committing your time, your resources, and your entire life.
This means that your life is no longer your life. It partly becomes your partner’s life too, and their life partly becomes your life.
Their failures are your failures, and their successes are your successes. The more they put into life, the more they get out of it, and the more you will too.
So what does this mean? This means that both parties have to be on the same page when it comes to what they want out of life.
Some people are happy just to be alive, they pay their bills, spend their nights and weekends at home with family, and enjoy the occasional luxury.
But others want more.
They may eventually want to earn more money, move to another country or a larger home, or achieve larger personal goals, such as starting a business, engaging in higher levels of education, or receiving awards in their field of interest.
This can be difficult to talk about, especially in the early stages of a relationship.
What we expect from ourselves and what we want from our lives to reach our perception of happiness is a very personal desire, and when this does not align with our partner’s goals, it can cause deep personal divisions in the relationship.
If two partners decide to stay together, one must compromise for the sake of the other – either the more ambitious partner sets their goals lower and begins to feel like their partner is holding them back, or they continue to achieve their goals and eventually feel that they have outgrown their partner and have to move on.
3. Long-term resentment
Common fonts:
“I’ve asked you not to do that a thousand times.”
– “When will you learn?”
“Do you think apologizing makes it okay?”
discontent. No matter how emotionally mature you are, it can be difficult to erase the deep scars in your heart.
When someone hurts you on a level that only your closest partner could hurt you, that pain lasts a long time – if not forever.
Even if you and your partner eventually move on and try to stay together afterward, to treat each other better, the pain of being hurt stays with you.
It becomes part of who you are, and every day you look at yourself in the mirror and see: I am the person who was abused, betrayed, or hurt by the person who was supposed to love me.
But it doesn’t take a major betrayal to spark resentment.
We spend years and decades with our chosen partner, and generally, at that time, even small things can cause dissatisfaction that no one else can understand.
Your partner may roll his eyes at you whenever you try to suggest a new restaurant or meal; Maybe your partner has a bad habit of interrupting you when you’re trying to talk to your friends.
Maybe you don’t like the way they don’t respond when you try to call them home; Maybe you’re tired of them forgetting to include the little thing you ordered from the grocery store.
This long-term resentment is a byproduct of not feeling loved.
We talk to our partner about the things that bother us, and the things we wish he would do differently, but when we see those habits continue, we feel unloved.
After all, if your partner still loved you, wouldn’t he make an effort to remember your request?
It’s not enough to break up with them, which makes it very difficult. Just enough to start resenting them slowly, day by day.
