When a person is balanced, they feel comfortable in their own skin, confident in their intuition, and capable of adapting and growing toward the future. They remain in harmony with life and seem to possess a sixth sense that enables them to know the best way to navigate it. A balanced person is a force to be reckoned with and cannot be easily manipulated or controlled.

On the other hand, a narcissist destabilizes your psyche in various ways: by mocking you, judging you, interrogating you, flattering you, ignoring you, or exploiting your weaknesses. All these methods aim to trigger waves of emotions that threaten your psychological equilibrium.

If you suffer from childhood trauma related to specific triggers, the intensity of these emotions will overwhelm you like a raging storm. You will lose your ability to think, observe, and be aware. You will be in a reactive state, intensely agitated because your psychological state is extremely uncomfortable.

If you don’t realize what is happening, you will be vulnerable to prolonged and painful manipulation. Worse still, each episode exacerbates your existing deep wounds, making you more vulnerable to manipulation in the future.

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The first step is awareness. You need to understand what it means to be calm, and then feel the transition from this state to a state of agitation. You need to notice the emotions as they arise. Oh, this is shame. This is doubt. This is anger. This is sadness. This is confusion. This is anxiety. This is need. And so on.

The next step, and the most difficult, is creating a safe space around these emotions. Can you relax your body and receive these feelings? Can you remain aware and calm, even if every cell in your body is screaming in pain? Can you observe without reacting, even if your entire being is demanding that you do something? If so, you are becoming adept at creating this safe space.

Related : Can You Have A Healthy Relationship With A Narcissist?

When your emotions are triggered and you lose composure and focus, you explode with anger, become defensive, and are swept into a spiral of confusion, becoming so vulnerable that the narcissist can easily control you. To counter the narcissist’s tactics, you must practice managing the stress that arises from this state of arousal. This requires expanding your awareness and developing the skill of processing complex and profound emotions without reacting impulsively.

Building the Skill of Protecting Against Narcissistic Abuse

But how do we build this skill? There are many ways in everyday life, but to begin with, meditation is a way to create a suitable environment for practice.

Simple Exercise:

Sit cross-legged on the floor. Elevate your torso with a meditation cushion (or place some towels) and put something soft under your knees. The goal is to keep your back as straight as possible while feeling comfortable.

Place something in front of you, such as a glass, a ball, or anything simple. Don’t let anything distract you.

Set a timer if you like. Five minutes is enough to start.

Breathing naturally, focus on the object and look at it. Look at it intently. To look at it intently means to notice it. Don’t let it be just an abstract image or a blurry background. Keep it present in your focus and awareness. As long as you do this, you are grounded in the present moment. Your higher self is activated, and you are fully present.

Your mind will pull you back. The purpose of having this object is to observe when you stop seeing it. This is a sign that your mind has taken over again. Gently refocus on the object. In a typical session, you will move back and forth dozens of times. This is normal. Losing focus is not a failure; it’s a signal for you to gently refocus.

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As you will discover, this meditation is difficult. That’s because holding and focusing on the present moment creates tension. Your muscles may ache, or anxiety may flood your body. Any emotions you’ve been ignoring will also surface. Shame. Guilt. Fear. Panic. Sadness. All of these will come to the fore.

However, far from being a disaster, this is your opportunity to: a) release these pent-up emotions, and b) practice managing emotional tension.

This is the skill you will need when confronted by a narcissist who is trying to pull you away from your source of strength: your true self. They will look at you with a blank stare after their attack, whether subtle or overt, and will wait until you lose your temper and react to their assault.

If you’ve practiced handling stress, you’ll notice the moment the spark ignites, but you’ll remain calm and look the narcissist directly in the eye. In that moment, you regain your strength. You’re poised, focused, and steady. While some emotions may surge through you, you’re skilled and broad-minded enough to control them.

Of course, a direct confrontation with a narcissist is unsettling and stressful, but you’re an expert at handling it. The tension becomes enjoyable now because it’s your source of power. The narcissist will witness all of this and will be the one to react. What happens next is what makes it interesting.