Narcissistic abuse inflicts severe damage on the psyche, body, and spirit, leaving behind debilitating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Therefore, treating PTSD after narcissistic abuse becomes an essential part of recovery.

PTSD is simply defined as: excess energy accumulated in the body as a result of a traumatic experience that has not been successfully processed.

In a normal situation, after the trauma subsides, the nervous system calms the individual and eliminates its effects. However, in PTSD, the traumatic experience is so intense that it disrupts the nervous system’s normal functioning, keeping it in a state of constant alert. This leads to a detachment from reality, a distorted sense of self, and debilitating flashbacks.

When PTSD Becomes Complex

PTSD is usually attributed to a single traumatic event such as war, an accident, or a natural disaster. Complex PTSD, or C-PTSD for short, is similar to regular PTSD in its essence, with one key difference. Instead of being a single traumatic experience, complex PTSD is a long series of smaller traumas resulting from emotional, physical, or psychological abuse in a relationship.

Over time, these experiences overlap to form a single, easily triggered mass in the present, unleashing a torrent of debilitating emotions. It’s like an accumulating debt of unprocessed emotions, which becomes due at once whenever the person is exposed to a trigger.

A person with complex PTSD as a result of narcissistic abuse often believes they are an anxious and flawed individual, rather than exhibiting symptoms of long-term abuse.

Why does narcissistic abuse cause PTSD?

In all cases of complex PTSD, the inability to process a series of overwhelming emotional experiences is the root cause of the trauma. This typically begins in childhood with an abusive or narcissistic parent, when we are so vulnerable that we cannot fully comprehend what is happening to us.

However, narcissistic abuse in our intimate relationships in adulthood can cause complex post-traumatic stress disorder. This is because we are emotionally attached and therefore more vulnerable.

When someone you confide in abuses you, the damage is compounded. The result is painful memories that undermine your self-confidence and negatively impact your daily life.

Signs of Complex PTSD After Narcissistic Abuse

The signs of complex PTSD are often difficult to identify because they develop gradually as a result of repeated exposure to narcissistic abuse. Like the parable of the boiled frog, we were gradually abused, and only now do we realize its devastating impact.

PTSD, with its fight-or-flight response, is associated with fear and panic. For complex PTSD, however, we need to broaden our understanding to encompass a wider range of emotions:

Toxic Shame: A feeling that you are fundamentally flawed and beyond repair. Your body breaks down, your mind goes blank, you compulsively compare yourself to others, and you blame yourself repeatedly. This is what John Bradshaw called a “toxic shame attack.”

Chronic Guilt: A persistent and burning feeling that you have done something wrong. You constantly feel that you have upset someone else and that you must somehow make amends.

Abandonment Depression: An unbearable pain in the chest, a feeling of being alone in this world, and that you will be alone forever.

When someone grows up in an environment of narcissistic abuse, or leaves an abusive relationship (or both), they carry with them coping behaviors that helped them survive that abuse. One of the first behaviors to notice is obsessive thinking.

A person with PTSD is usually in a constant state of alertness, feeling out of control. To help them cope, their mind overthinks, trying to fight a demon that is no longer there.

People with complex PTSD constantly think about everything. In fact, they are trying to distract themselves from what they are feeling inside. When you feel your mind overthinking, you need to recognize what is behind these thoughts: intense emotional arousal, an activated fight-or-flight response.

Symptoms of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder After Narcissistic Abuse

Symptoms of complex post-traumatic stress disorder include:

1. Persistent Anxiety

A person with trauma feels a constant need to do something or work toward a goal in the future. They may have difficulty sleeping, as anxiety impairs their ability to relax.

Those with trauma also experience a persistent feeling of imminent danger. They often overthink and are consumed by “what if?” thoughts.

2. Panic Attacks

Repressed trauma has immense power. Panic attacks are like erupting volcanoes of fear. They make a person feel like they are dying, as if terror will engulf them completely.

3. Low Self-Esteem

The person lacks self-confidence and begins to isolate themselves from others to protect themselves from intense shame. The more they have been abused, the worse the condition becomes.

4. Disconnection from Reality

To cope with the flood of painful emotions, a victim of narcissistic abuse retreats into their imagination, transforming the world into an abstraction. In short, they disconnect from reality. This is psychologically similar to burying one’s head in the sand to protect oneself from terror, shame, or overwhelming guilt.

5. Excessive Kindness

A person with complex PTSD may become chronically kind to those close to them, regardless of how they are treated. This kind persona is a way to numb negative emotions with feelings of love. Those with complex PTSD typically have weak personal boundaries and are afraid to say “no” or cause trouble.

6. Repressed Anger

Boundary violations, humiliation, restriction, intimidation, and abuse all take a toll. Yet, the body never forgets.

7. Paranoia

With their constant fight-or-flight response, a person with trauma can never truly rest. They are always on high alert. They find it difficult to trust others, making it harder to maintain relationships.

8. Loss of a Sense of Belonging

A person with complex post-traumatic stress disorder experiences a fragile sense of self, which negatively impacts their sense of belonging and community. They find it difficult to feel comfortable anywhere.

Activating The Warrior: Surviving Complex PTSD

With the source of the abuse gone, the latent energy of shame and fear has the opportunity to surface as the symptoms of complex PTSD mentioned above.

This energy wants to be acknowledged by your higher self, to have its existence legitimized, and to be given space to express itself. This means being authentically present with it, allowing it to roam and express itself in your presence.

Embracing your trauma means being in a state of breadth and depth you have never experienced before. This requires a warrior mindset.

As you relive the painful memories, look for the intensity and weight of the emotions in your body. Be aware, but relax your body. Immerse yourself in the feeling. Surrender to the difficulty of what you are experiencing in this moment. Look directly at this wave from the past. Immerse yourself in it. Do this by directing all your focus to it, gently ignoring your conflicting thoughts and instincts. If you can take this bold step, your awareness will grow, and your ability to cope with stress will increase.

Related : How To Heal From A Narcissistic Mother

Evolution is taking on a form that didn’t exist before. You are capable of this, and you do it with faith, courage, and conscious presence in the face of terror.

However, standing up to danger isn’t always a wise strategy. You could get seriously hurt. You need agility and shrewdness to succeed in this battle. You have to navigate between safety and complex PTSD episodes.

Navigating Safety and Complex PTSD Memories

By paying attention to your body, including your feelings and sensations, you can experience the symptoms of complex PTSD in real time. Sometimes these symptoms will be within your control, and sometimes they will be beyond it—especially during panic attacks or intense shame.

You will need to face all of this eventually, but you also need to be tactful. Trauma is serious and requires a gentle approach. It takes repeated attempts over a long period.

When you feel anxious, heavy, or afraid, go to a quiet place and try the following:

Invite your body to relax, especially your shoulders, abdomen, hips, and buttocks.

Breathe in a square rhythm: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and repeat. You can use a guided square breathing meditation app on your smartphone to help you.

While breathing in a square rhythm, locate the feeling of heaviness or tension in your body. It might be in your skull, throat, chest, abdomen, or in multiple locations. It might also be a vague feeling.

Welcome this negative feeling and focus your attention on it.

Be self-aware as the observer of this tension.

Continue to receive the extra energy as you relax further, and stay with it for as long as possible.

A Spiritual Approach to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

It’s natural, in the heat of the moment, to feel overwhelmed by fear, shame, or guilt. If you persevere, you’ll eventually see improvement. Feelings don’t kill you, even if they feel like they do. Courage leads to change.

However, don’t underestimate the trauma. Treat it gently. If you reach a point where you can’t take it anymore, refocus on the world around you. Hold onto an external source of security until you feel ready to try again. This is the essence of balance.

Some ways to feel safe include:

Take a warm bath.

Spend time with someone you feel comfortable with.

Watch a movie or TV show.

Listen to calming music.

Go for a walk.

Do some exercise.

Once you’ve mastered rocking, you can use it as a foundation for moving on to physical therapy, which takes trauma release to a new level.

Returning_from_Body_Isolation_After_Trauma

The only way to overcome trauma is to confront it.

Using the principle of rocking, you can address the root of the problem. Through movement, touch, and vibration, you can awaken the body. Body therapy is an effective way to release old emotions and learn to skillfully manage high-energy states.

Some practices you can try to reintegrate your body include:

Yoga: Although the poses may be challenging, the persistence is incredibly rewarding. Accepting discomfort while breathing deeply stimulates transformative states of consciousness that will stay with you for life.

Chanting: The vibrations of chanting meditation can help increase awareness of your inner body.

Dancing: Dancing awakens the body’s energy and connects us to the wisdom of our bodies, allowing us to experience movement in a spontaneous and joyful way. Ecstatic dance classes are currently experiencing a surge in popularity.

Singing: Songs evoke specific emotions within us, and their vibrations are a wonderful way to feel the body at its various frequencies.

Body-based therapy: Visit traumahealing.org for more information about this body-oriented approach to therapy.

In each of the activities mentioned above, maintaining awareness of sensations during and after the activity is crucial. You need to feel your body and be aware of that feeling. Mindfulness is essential.

Learn To Love Fear

Your journey through complex PTSD is like facing the dragon of narcissistic abuse. It’s an incredibly difficult and challenging journey, but when you successfully navigate it, you will emerge as the person you were meant to be: strong, conscious, and wise.

Remember, fear isn’t just a dragon; it’s the lightning that illuminates our path forward. The more we allow fear to creep in, the stronger we become, and the more insight we gain. Furthermore, we become more capable of channeling the heroic energy we lost while suffering narcissistic abuse, energy that has always been dormant within us.

This also applies to shame and guilt. The more we free ourselves from these feelings, the more we will feel our divine essence.

Measuring Success: The Layers of Complex PTSD Memories

Yes, you will return to your normal self, even if you feel otherwise. Complex PTSD is a stubborn force, but it can be overcome. With proper planning, support, courage, and patience, you can overcome much of the pain.

The most important requirement is creating space. Whether it’s a therapist’s office, your favorite places, spending time with a close friend, or even writing in your journal, you need space to begin healing. At its core, healing means creating physical, psychological, and emotional space to process your trauma.

Complex PTSD can be overwhelming and confusing. You can’t grasp it, and that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with you.

The trauma occurred precisely because it was difficult to understand. Now, as you confront it again, you’ll initially feel the same helplessness that accompanied the original trauma of narcissistic abuse.

At first, you don’t need to try to understand anything. All you need to do is experience and feel what’s coming from within. Understanding will come with time, and you’ll regain a sense of normalcy.

Once you consciously and patiently acknowledge your trauma and give it space to exist, it will transform. Just like in a video game, view the trauma of narcissistic abuse as a “level” you must complete. It’s frustrating, uncomfortable, and intensely painful for brief moments. But once you find your way to surrender and focus, you can savor the joy of your spiritual growth and prepare yourself for the next level.

Narcissistic abuse can paralyze you, or it can be the driving force that helps you realize your true self. It all comes down to your awareness and your willingness to bravely face your challenges.