Working for a narcissistic boss can make work life incredibly difficult and even psychologically frustrating. And since many people spend more hours at work than their friends and family, this is hardly a positive thing.

First, it’s important to understand that your narcissistic boss has a personality disorder, and it’s not going away anytime soon. Their mental state causes them to live in a fantasy world where they believe they are special, superior, and deserve everything.

Your Narcissistic Boss Wont Change

You might be tempted to try to prove their version of events or reality inaccurate, but doing so will only expose you to punishment and persecution.

Dealing with a narcissistic boss becomes easier when you accept the situation rather than resist it.

I’m not suggesting that your professional life should be affected by your narcissistic boss’s mental state, but you will need to equip yourself with some strategies to move forward and make your life easier.

Signs_of_a_Narcissistic_Manager

Narcissists often assume leadership positions for several reasons.

First, they feel entitled to a position of power due to an inflated sense of superiority and strive to attain it.

Second, their arrogance may manifest as an overconfidence in their ability to perform the role (even if they are incompetent!).

…Here are some common signs of a narcissistic manager:

They place great importance on admiration.

They feel entitled to special treatment (even if they don’t deserve it).

They lack empathy for their colleagues.

They use anger and aggression to get what they want.

They don’t admit their mistakes.

They always portray themselves as the “hero.”

They believe they are above everyone else.

They take credit for the work of others.

They are quick to point out flaws and mistakes.

They never appreciate positive work.

They exploit others for their own personal gain.

They don’t take criticism or rejection well.

He is not friendly.

He has unrealistic expectations of others.

He is overly focused on his own success and achievements.

He criticizes others to elevate himself. #Dealing with a Narcissistic Boss

Keep Interactions Short

When you have to interact with your narcissistic boss, it’s in your best interest to keep the conversation brief and direct. The less time you spend with him, the less likely he is to say something that will upset you.

Related : Letter From a Narcissist’s True Self (Behind the Mask)

Narcissistic bosses are adept at putting their colleagues on the defensive with their condescending behavior. They enjoy belittling others to boost their own image and don’t hesitate to delegate even simple tasks because they believe they are above them.

The best approach is to avoid unnecessary conversations with your narcissistic boss.

Use the BIFF Approach:

Concise

Helpful
Friendly
Assertive

By adhering to the BIFF approach, you’ll find it easier to focus on your tasks while maintaining a friendly working relationship. But don’t overdo it.

Avoid_Triggers_Your_Narcissistic_Boss

After working with your narcissistic boss for a while, you’ll notice certain things that might trigger their anger. Therefore, it’s important to write down each one to avoid falling into their trap in the future.

Common_Triggers_of_a_Narcissistic_Boss:

Anything that threatens their inflated ego and idealized self-image

Criticism

Rejection

Challenging or questioning

Hearing the word “no”

Giving orders

Not being involved in important decision-making tasks

Losing control

Having to avoid the reactions of a mature adult to prevent them from unleashing their anger on you, your colleagues, and the entire workplace is incredibly frustrating. I completely understand that. It’s utterly unprofessional, and no one else should bear the burden of their turbulent emotions.

But the truth is, your narcissistic boss won’t suddenly change or take responsibility for their bad behavior. The very nature of their personality disorder makes them believe they are so superior and perfect that they can’t see anything wrong with their actions.

So, the best course of action is to see them for who they really are (despite their facade) and protect yourself for your own safety and well-being. This is where minimizing interactions with them becomes crucial.

Always Start With Compliments

I know this sounds awful, but it’s a tactic that often works with any narcissist.

When you find yourself dealing with a narcissistic boss and need them to do you a favor or something that won’t immediately inflate their ego, always start with a compliment.

Example of a compliment first:

“I know how good you are at organizing numbers, so I was wondering if you could share some of your expertise with me?”

Step 1: Reinforce your narcissistic boss’s inflated sense of self-importance by complimenting them first.

Step 2: They’ll be more likely to help with the task, believing it will enhance their status.

Bonus tip: Randomly compliment your narcissistic boss at work. This will keep their ego inflated and you in their good graces.

I know, it’s infuriating to have to do this… I can imagine your frustration! But always remember, this is for your own good, not theirs.

Keep Records

Narcissistic bosses are notorious for easily changing the rules of the game if it serves their interests.

Always document your work with dates and notes, just in case. Hopefully, you’ll never need it, but it will give you peace of mind.

Examples of documentation:

A daily task log (dated)
Photos or screenshots of completed tasks
Emails (categorized by type)

Network… But Do It Quietly

Unfortunately, your narcissistic boss is unlikely to be a good mentor, especially if they’re worried about competition taking their position. The only exception is if the narcissist is mentoring you simply to bolster their own standing or position.

Unfortunately, your narcissistic boss may not be a good mentor, especially if they’re worried about new competitors entering the scene and taking their place. If you want to advance your career or find people to talk to for support and professional development, look beyond your manager.

It’s in your best interest to keep your professional relationships private. A narcissistic manager will see this as an attack on their idealized image of superiority.

They might even resort to sabotaging your growth opportunities as punishment for daring to criticize them (or seeking experience elsewhere) to reinforce their idealized image of superiority and authority.

Building Relationships and Support Outside Your Narcissistic Manager:

Building relationships with people on other teams

Building relationships with leaders at other companies

Finding a mentor in the same field (but working outside your current company)

Developing your skills through additional training courses in your spare time

Developing a Plan

If you don’t want to spend the rest of your life working under your narcissistic manager, it’s time to develop your own plan for self-improvement.

You might want to transfer to a different role or pursue a promotion within your current workplace. Or you might want to leave the company altogether and work in a completely different place, either to start fresh away from your narcissistic manager or to advance your career.

Whatever your personal goals may be, don’t let a narcissistic manager thwart them. In most cases, it’s best to keep your goals private and not share them with your narcissistic manager.

They have a tendency to drain everything beautiful, so this advice is for you, not them!

Set your goals, then choose the best steps to achieve them.

This might mean staying in your current job for a certain period to gain experience or fulfill specific obligations. It could also be about saving money or paying off debts before moving on to another job.

Or, your goal might simply be to stay in your current position while quietly searching for other opportunities.

Whatever your plan, keep it in mind whenever you’re dealing with a narcissistic manager. Use it as motivation to keep pursuing your goals.

It’s not about the narcissist; it’s about achieving your goals despite their presence.

However, if your narcissistic manager is openly abusive, no one should have to put up with it at work. If you feel you’ve been treated unfairly, you have every right to take action by speaking to a higher-level manager or seeking legal recourse (depending on your circumstances).

Always prioritize your own well-being and protect yourself when dealing with a narcissistic manager.

Prepare a strategy that serves your best interests, regardless of your manager’s delusions. When dealing with a narcissistic manager, prioritize daily self-care to protect your mental well-being.