When it comes to finding the right person and the right relationship, one thing you should always avoid is getting attached to someone too soon. If you are someone who tends to get attached to someone too quickly, you need to slow down and think about what you are doing.
the main points
Getting attached to someone early on only to end the relationship can be a traumatic experience.
To avoid becoming attached to a new partner too quickly, it can be helpful to know the difference between attraction and compatibility.
It can also be helpful to identify red flags such as wanting to move to the next stage of the relationship too quickly.
I’ve been out with him three times now, and things are going really well! You’re ready to take it to the next level, and you’re thinking about all the fun things the two of you will do together in the future. On your fourth date, you have sex, it’s amazing! You are high on endorphins and happier than you have been in a long time….
Fast forward two weeks. He doesn’t text you often and you don’t understand why. I asked him if everything was alright, and he said yes, things have gotten busier lately. Try waiting for him to text you and ask you out again. But he doesn’t, so you text him, and sooner or later he stops responding altogether. You are left with no end, you have no idea what happened, and you spend all your mental energy trying to figure it out.
Related: We Experience Three Types Of Love In Our Lifetime: Each One for A Specific Reason
Even though you only went out three times, you felt very attached to him. Losing him feels like a huge loss. You’ve had intimate experiences, you trusted him, and you fantasized about all the amazing things you’d do together in the future. You could sense the loss of his presence, his interest, his enthusiasm, the loss of the future you had hoped for.
First of all, it’s a really painful experience. You may be tempted to blame yourself for not being good enough for him. Or you might beat yourself up for not saying the right thing. The truth is that this person acted this way because of who they are, not because of who you are or because of anything you did. Take your anger out and hit him because he hurt you and he deserves to be held responsible for his actions.
Second, with the right knowledge and skills, you can stop dwelling on this forever. There are reasons why you get hung up too much too soon, and it just isn’t. Learning the following relational skills can help you on your dating journey.
These tips will teach you how to stop getting attached too soon, so that you can stop wasting time on the wrong guys and find the right guy sooner.
3 ways to stop yourself from becoming too attached to someone
- Don’t confuse attraction with connection or compatibility.
Things felt fun, exciting, and exciting. You flirted… flirted… felt wanted…attracted…and the conversation flowed and it felt easy. So, naturally, I assumed that you two must have potential together as a couple. And this is where I made the mistake of confusing attraction, connection, and compatibility.
This initial attraction and excitement has nothing to do with the two of you because you don’t know each other yet. Until you know each other, there’s no reason to think you’re compatible no matter how attractive they are, how good they look on paper, or how good you feel.
It takes time to figure out who he is and what he’s all about. Do not hold his attention and excite. Don’t confuse how his attention makes you feel and who he is. Take the time to get to know him and see if he’s worth hanging out with.
Related: Why You Should Stop Looking For Love And Find Yourself Instead
- Know the red flags.
If he starts getting hot and laden with attention and flirtation before he gets to know you, that’s a red flag. If you want a serious, committed, and healthy relationship, find someone who understands that relationships take time to develop. Find someone who’s interested in getting to know you before they act like they like you. This behavior is the behavior you are working on to stop engaging with it (see tip #1).
When you see it in someone else, move on. This behavior usually leads to sex, followed by a sudden decrease in texting and effort, as you may have already experienced. If a man falls off the planet after sex, he is not available or compatible emotionally. or considerate and respectful.
If you take the time to get to know him, you’ll find out before you have sex, and you can move on to someone else sooner.
- If you get hooked during sex, don’t have sex until both of you are hooked.
If you’d like to be a sex person and feel nothing for your partner afterward, but you’re not that person, now is the time to own it. And to be honest, that’s a lot of people. Having sex without any feelings for the person isn’t necessarily something to strive for, although many women have been given the message that strong women should do so. A lot of strong women have sex and have feelings, which is great. Having feelings takes strength.
If you get attached to someone after you have sex with them, stop having sex before you get attached to each other. If you want to be cared for after sex with someone, don’t have sex until you know they care about you. Otherwise, you will expect care from someone who does not yet care.
If you want to be exclusive before sex, don’t have sex until you’re exclusive. Expect him to respect your wishes and not compromise. The right guy will be happy to respect what you need and want, and you can weed out the wrong people who push back your boundaries.
Getting attached to someone can happen very early on when you don’t have the dating and relationship skills that you need. Trying to navigate the world of dating without these skills and without the proper support is like trying to survive in a jungle with no way to get food, cook food, get water, stay safe, etc.
Related: 3 Crucial Dating Mistakes That Keep You From Finding True Love
When it comes to dating, there is a lot you don’t know and don’t know. If you’re struggling to find the right person and move on with your life, you probably need more education and skills. Seek support and never give up on your dreams.
You deserve the love you crave. Do the work of inner healing, and when you find the healthy, loving relationship of your dreams, you’ll be thrilled that you did the hard work to get there.
