Are you trying to show your true love? The following article warns us about soulmate myths that can make you unhappy.
When we were little, we listened to hilarious stories about princes and princesses falling in love and getting married. We know we only have one true love and that person (always of the opposite sex) completes us.
As we get older, many of us strive for this romantic ideal. Some of us spend years pining and searching for the “perfect” lover who can tick all the boxes and match all of our criteria. Some of us carry a mental idea of what our soul mates would look like, and how to act like them.
Being a romantic soul, I always thought my soul mate would be a tall, mysterious, and rebellious Australian man. Perhaps I was simply projecting my disowned anima (male energy) out? Instead, I fell in love with a logical, muscular, emotionally balanced guy of Peruvian descent – a perfect fit for me!
But I am not the only one who experiences this. Many of us think we know what we want in a person, when in fact we don’t. And sometimes, when someone who doesn’t quite match our description comes along, we close in on ourselves, missing out on the opportunity.
For those of us who have suffered severe emotional and mental wounding in our lives, Soulmates appear as a kind of holy Mecca or “Promised Land.”
When we feel incomplete, lonely, and disconnected from ourselves, the idea of soulmate love becomes a beacon of hope that promises to save us. Soon we begin to sincerely believe that our beloved will “complete” us, and thus make our lives meaningful again.
Read : The 5 Stages of Love: Why Too Many Stop at Stage 3
10 Soulmate Myths
Deep down, many of us believe that there is at least one person out there who will fulfill all our needs and desires. Such a distorted belief is what causes the high rates of divorce and dysfunctional relationships in our societies.
There are a lot of harmful myths about soulmates that circulate through our cultural conversations. These myths end up as static stories and ideas in our minds. These thoughts and beliefs are responsible for limiting our spiritual growth and our ability to mature as divine beings. Believing that anything outside of yourself will complete or make you whole is not only misguided but extremely dangerous to your well-being.
With this in mind, let’s explore 10 of the most common soulmate myths:
Myth 1. You can “find” your soul mate.
First of all, it is important to abandon the illusion of control. Here’s a wake-up call: You have no power over when, where, and how your soulmate will show up. All you can do is be open and receptive to meeting your soul mate. The human ego tends to believe that it can control life. But life is uncontrollable. Life is as wise, wild, and mysterious as it is frustrating! Our soulmates often appear “out of the blue” when we least expect them to. But it is also quite common to sense, dream, or dream about your soul mate before they suddenly appear in your life.
Read : 7 Ways People Who Have Been Emotionally Abused Love Differently
Myth 2. What you want in your soul mate is what you will get.
We tend to approach relationships with preconceived notions of what we want or need. There are many articles I’ve read that recommend “visualizing your soul mate” to “attract” them into your life. However, this is another ego trick. The law of attraction doesn’t quite work that way. Your thoughts and beliefs reflect your reality. Often your soulmate is not someone you consciously desire, but someone you subconsciously attract and need for inner growth.
Read : 5 Ways To Handle A Non-Committal Guy
Myth 3. Soulmates will stay with you no matter what.
This is another highly damaging myth that causes a lot of unnecessary pain. As a species, we find great comfort in the idea of “always and forever” (which is why marriage is so attractive to us). But this is not always the case. Sometimes our soulmates stay for a season, and sometimes they stay for life.
Myth 4. We only have one soul mate.
This point is a matter of personal opinion. However, I believe it is possible to have more than one soul mate in a lifetime. Speaking to many people about their thoughts and experiences of love, I’ve discovered that a significant number of them have had “multiple” experiences with a soul mate. Each was different, precious, and life-changing in a variety of ways. However, I think we only have a twin-flame relationship. Read more about the difference between soul mates and flame mates.
Myth 5. Soulmates are always romantic/sexual.
Conversely, soulmate relationships can be completely platonic without any sexual or romantic feelings. In other words, your soul mate could simply be your best friend in the world.
Myth 6. Soulmates are human.
We think of soulmates in terms of human beings’ love for other human beings. But many people have felt strong, powerful bonds with animals and pets that transcend human language.
Myth 7. Soulmates are the opposite sex.
Religion and tradition may make us believe that soulmates are heterosexual. Indeed, love is free: it is not constrained by what is believed to be “right” or “wrong”. Your boyfriend could be of the same sex as you. If you find out that you are heterosexual, this will come as a huge shock to you. However, it will eventually encourage you to reclaim your authentic sex life.
Myth 8. Soulmates are single.
Love is a complex emotion. It’s true that we “can’t choose who we love” — love flows free and runs wild. Who can claim to understand the secrets of the heart? As such, many people struggle with the fact that the person they love is already in a relationship or marriage. This isn’t the same as looking for stimulation or lust: Soulmates resonate much deeper than great chemistry, sex, or compatible interests. As such, soulmates in this situation must choose to move on or break up marriages. While both options are painful, both are ultimately growth catalysts.
Read : 14 Important Lessons You Learn When Your Soulmate Becomes Another Ex
Myth 9. Soulmate relationships are easy.
There is a widespread assumption that loving a soul mate is easy and stress-free. This belief adds to the desire for and idealization of such a relationship. However, soulmate relationships require time, effort, patience, and diligence like any other relationship. Without conscious maintenance, even soulmate relationships will fail.
Myth 10. Soulmates complete you.
Perhaps the most destructive myth of all, the idea that soulmates complete us is not only misguided but also deeply disrespectful. We have been taught to believe that our soul mates are the “lost halves” when in reality they are helpers and catalysts for our spiritual growth. The belief that a soul mate “completes us” is very common because it encourages us to move beyond responsibility for our happiness and wholeness. It is much easier to put the burden and pressure on others! Many people enter into relationships believing that their soul mate will give them everything they need. This, unfortunately, leads to issues such as codependency, toxic empowerment, and self-betrayal.
Instead of looking outside for perfection, why not look inside your own precious and unexplored soul? Everything — all the love, acceptance, and joy you need — is waiting to be found.
Read : 13 Ways To Keep The Thrill In Your Relationship
Tell me …
Did you have any strong emotional responses to this article? Perhaps this article was all you didn’t want to read or all you hoped to find out. I hope I helped bring more realism to a world that can easily be obscured by myths and ideals.
Some final parting words: Learn to fully love, forgive, and cherish the person you are. This is the best way to attract and bring harmony to your soul mate relationship.
