People with narcissistic, psychopathic, or strong psychopathic personality traits, and other dark characteristics (which we will refer to hereafter as narcissists), suffer from low and fragile self-esteem. To cope, they constantly need to feel superior to others. They constantly compare themselves to others, and when they feel threatened, they try to belittle others to reinforce their sense of superiority. They think hierarchically, and this manifests in various ways.
In this article, we will review some common methods narcissists use to feel superior to others, even if it hurts them, and often precisely because it hurts them.
- False Self-Confidence
As you may have noticed, narcissists typically display false self-confidence, acting and speaking with excessive certainty, as if they know everything they are doing or talking about. However, if you have some knowledge and experience in this area, you will quickly realize that it is all an act.
One reason they resort to this behavior is to project an image of superiority, as if they were experts. Furthermore, they are quick to criticize others falsely and maliciously, often even those who are genuine experts, to create the illusion that they know what they’re talking about. Narcissists possess an extraordinary ability to persuade, and it can be difficult for others to identify a true expert.
Narcissists can sometimes succeed in convincing others of their knowledge or expertise in a field they don’t actually possess. Sometimes they achieve this by acting with feigned confidence, while other times they lie pathologically, or perhaps they use both methods.
- Instilling Self-Doubt and Psychological Manipulation
If you tend to doubt yourself, it’s very easy for a narcissist to provoke and manipulate you until you submit to them. They can instill self-doubt in you by exploiting your weaknesses and insecurities.
Related : Why Some People are Naturally Attracted to Narcissists
Or they can simply manipulate you psychologically by denying your feelings, memories, or experiences, essentially making you doubt reality itself. You can read more about psychological manipulation in my previous article, “Psychological Manipulation: What It Is and Why It’s So Destructive.”
By sowing doubt in your own mind and your perception of reality, a manipulator might hold you responsible for something you aren’t responsible for, make you feel guilty and force you to do things you wouldn’t normally do, or simply humiliate you to feel superior.
- Acting Entitled
One of the most prominent traits of a narcissistic personality is an entitlement. A narcissist feels and believes they are better than others, more important than them, or unique; therefore, they feel entitled to special treatment. So, when they feel the need to bolster their shaky self-esteem, they tend to act entitled to make others feel bad.
For example, they might go to a store or restaurant and yell at or mistreat the employees to feel better about themselves. They might use their money, power, charm, social status, and other means of influence to insult and harm others in order to enhance their own standing.
- Blame and Projection
Narcissists are known for their inability to take responsibility for their mistakes and their denial of any shortcomings or negative traits. They blame others for everything, even when the fault is clearly theirs. One reason for this is to avoid taking responsibility for all the bad things they do. If I blame others, no one will blame me!
Furthermore, narcissists are experts at projection. They tirelessly accuse others of their actions and attribute to them the negative qualities they possess. They use these common tactics to stay on the offensive, to destabilize others, and to constantly make them feel bad—all to make themselves feel better.
I discuss narcissistic projection in more detail in the article “Five Ways Narcissists Project and Attack You.”
- Attacking
If narcissists feel unappreciated, mistreated, or even threatened, they experience what is known as narcissistic rage. In this situation, they may become extremely angry and justify their actions to themselves by destroying you.
As a result, they might attack you directly: by shouting, physically assaulting you, throwing things around you, threatening to harm or even kill you, breaking or stealing your belongings, and so on. Sometimes, they resort to indirect methods, starting by plotting to sabotage you, for example, by trying to get you fired, damaging your reputation, or involving others behind your back (manipulation, gossip, or stirring up trouble).
- Taking Credit for Themselves
Although narcissists never admit their own mistakes, they delight in taking credit for the work of others. They will not acknowledge anyone’s efforts if they can get away with it, pretending that they were the ones who created it. They also belittle the efforts of others to feel less important. Narcissists are known for stealing, plagiarizing, and exploiting the achievements of others for their own personal gain or to advance their social standing.
- Playing the Victim
It is clear from the above that narcissists try to project an image of strength and control, but when someone stands up to them or exposes the falsity of their claims, they often crumble and transform into helpless victims of injustice. I have heard and seen many cases of this, and it is almost laughable given how obvious their actions are. Yet, they still desperately try to portray themselves as pathetic victims to elicit sympathy from anyone they can.
Summary and Conclusion
Narcissists are extremely fragile and insecure individuals, to the point that they harm and exploit others to feel better about themselves. They employ many tactics, including feigning confidence, psychological manipulation, acting entitled, blaming others and projecting their own shortcomings onto them, attacking others and dragging them into problems, taking credit for others’ achievements, playing the victim, and much more.
