The term “hell turn” is used to describe a period of time following a traumatic event in someone’s life, leading them to become self-absorbed and self-centered as a way to cope with the trauma.

The simplest example of this is what happens after a breakup, where a person isolates themselves and undergoes a radical self-improvement process. Imagine a new beard and style, gym memberships, and solo travel.

This phase aims to process the pain by setting strict boundaries. It’s a space for self-work to regain self-confidence and a way to “hatred of the world” to release the anger stemming from the betrayal without harming others.

When the Hell Turns Disappear

In most cases, a person gradually moves past this phase. They gradually return to interacting with others, become more sociable and kind, and look forward to experiencing the world anew.

But what if the trauma occurred in childhood? What if the betrayal happened at a time when the child wasn’t able to process it? And finally, what if that painful betrayal fundamentally altered that person’s personality?

This is precisely the case with a narcissist. For one reason or another, the narcissist was unable to receive his mother’s attention, care, love, and acceptance. He felt anger, rejection, and inferiority, and was overwhelmed by profound shame. As a result, he repressed this bitter experience deep within his unconscious, replacing it with an inflated, false self.

In normal circumstances, a person’s path to evil is conscious and overt. That is, although pain or betrayal causes significant distress, it can be healed over time. In the case of the narcissist, however, his betrayal is unconscious and stems from his very core.

Trapped In A Chose

Because their infidelity is unconscious and deeply ingrained, the narcissist never acknowledges it, nor does he ever truly heal from its pain. Instead, he lives in a thin layer of consciousness composed of his false self and his imagination. The narcissist lives in a world of illusions and builds his relationships within this imaginary realm. Every relationship begins with an ideal phase; a wonderful start with a “perfect” person. As soon as this person exhibits behaviors that contradict the narcissist’s exaggerated expectations, the narcissist belittles and distorts their self-image, then abruptly ends the relationship.

Related : Spotting A True Narcissist In An Attention Economy

Over the years, the narcissist remains trapped in a vicious cycle, repeating the cycles of glorification, belittling, and abandonment again and again. In fact, every waking moment for the narcissist is a vicious journey, a desperate attempt to prove his worth and superiority, a futile effort to regain his self-confidence. However, this restoration has nothing to do with his current relationship; rather, it is linked to his mother, and to a lesser extent, his father. Behind every narcissist’s relationships lies a single, never-ending vicious journey.

This ongoing vicious journey is the root cause of the narcissist’s selfishness, rigidity, arrogance, self-loathing, and self-obsession. The only time they pause is when they drift into a phase of idealization, a temporary phase that doesn’t contribute to resuming their vicious course.

Can a narcissist end their ongoing vicious journey?

If the narcissist is held accountable by those around them, or undergoes a sudden spiritual experience, a crack may appear in their vicious path. But where do they go from there?

Because the betrayal was so profound compared to what the narcissist could bear at the time, and because it’s so deeply ingrained, accessing and overcoming that pain will be incredibly difficult. Moreover, this betrayal has resulted in fundamental personality traits. Because they were living in a fantasy world, the narcissist missed out on decades of growth, something that must occur over time to become permanent.

With a comprehensive treatment plan, consistent effort, and ongoing accountability from those around them, a narcissist can redirect their harmful behavior. However, completely ending this behavior will be extremely difficult, if not impossible.

Nevertheless, our understanding of personality disorders, as well as treatment and recovery methods, is evolving. Even hallucinogens are gradually gaining acceptance and regulation due to their therapeutic effects. Over time, our ability to change the course of personality disorders may improve.

But the first step is for the narcissist to confront the reality of their situation and past experiences, which is incredibly challenging.