Before you became entangled in the narcissist’s gloomy world, you first saw them and found them incredibly attractive. However, I believe it wasn’t the narcissist’s physical appeal that drew you in, but rather your Oedipal complex.
Victims of narcissists often have parents who exhibit traits of Cluster B personality disorder. The parent might be a typical narcissist, have borderline personality disorder with pronounced vanity, or have borderline personality disorder with narcissistic undertones. In some cases, the parent might be malicious and psychopathic. At the very least, the parent will display traits of dependency and control.
In all these cases, the parent will exhibit certain behaviors, especially in the presence of their children. They might appear rigid, calm, and indifferent, just like any narcissist. Their posture, body language, and even their energetic presence might have a distinctive character.
Physical traits, such as a beard, body type, or facial features, may also be present. This might be a particular kind of sardonic smile, or a complete lack of expression.
The outward appearance and behavior of every narcissist mask their inner emptiness. Every narcissist cultivates a dazzling persona to conceal their inner void. The outward narcissist is typically energetic and boisterous, while the inward narcissist is more reserved and mysterious. Others may appear humble and friendly.
Related : Why Empathy Struggle To Let Narcissists Go
While all people are different, some are more alike than others. When the narcissist’s dazzling personality matches that of a person’s parent, the parental complex is activated, creating an irresistible attraction. This attraction may be even more pronounced if the narcissist’s voice resembles that of the parent.
During this process, something resonates deep within the victim’s inner child. The victim becomes submissive, easily influenced, and susceptible to manipulation—just like a child. This happens unconsciously, of course, and the victim mistakenly interprets it as physical attraction.
In reality, the victim regresses to a childlike state. She sees before her a carbon copy of her narcissistic father, and feels she has a chance to rebuild the troubled relationship from scratch, but this time she has a chance of succeeding.
Or so she thinks.
