It’s a common tactic used by manipulative people. They quickly make themselves a big part of your life which encourages you to let your guard down which makes it easier for them to control you.
New friendships are great but just like in a romantic relationship, if things are moving too quickly, you need to hit the brakes and ask yourself “why”?
3) They flatter you with compliments
We all appreciate a nice compliment once in a while, right?
It’s normal for friends to complement each other. It’s a nice gesture and can make someone happy.
But sometimes, manipulative people use compliments as a way to make you feel safe around them.
Remember Saul Goodman (played by Bob Odenkirk), the friendly, con man lawyer from Breaking Bad (and Better Call Saul)? He was incredibly charming and always quick to offer compliments.
Related : 7 red flags you’re in a relationship with a textbook narcissist
He was also a master manipulator and his charm and excessive use of pleasantries were methods he used to deceive his unsuspecting victims.
A compliment here and there is fine, but if you start to realize that someone is constantly flattering you, take a moment to consider whether it’s more than just genuine admiration.
4) They exaggerate physical affection
Is there anything more comforting than a warm hug from a friend or loved one?
When you think about it: Whether it’s a pat on the back, an encouraging tap on the shoulder, or a soft, reassuring touch on your forearm, it’s not unusual for friends to show affection through touch.
Over time, it can make you feel closer and deepen your bond. In fact, “research has shown that hugs can release large amounts of oxytocin, the human bonding hormone,” explained Psychology Today.
However, if you find someone who always shows you physical affection, it may be a tactic to create a false sense of closeness.
Manipulative people know that if you feel close to them, it will be easier for them to control you and get what they want from you.
Pay attention to the amount of affection your friends show you. A little is okay, but if it seems too much, you may be dealing with a manipulative person, no matter how friendly they are.
5) They offer strategic kindness and generosity
At one of my first jobs out of college, a girl at the office befriended me on my first day. I was grateful for that. We were about the same age and seemed to have a lot in common.
She was so lovely and even brought me a bouquet of flowers to congratulate me on completing my first week.
At first, I was happy to have such a great new friend. But over time I started to notice a pattern.
I was not the only one who benefited from her kindness and generosity. Whenever she needed something from someone, she would do something nice or generous for them first. This way, it would be hard for them to say no after she was so nice.
Do you know anyone who shows kindness and gives gifts often? Maybe they are really good and there is nothing wrong with them.
But look closely, if the gift comes with conditions, or is only when they need something, this is strategic generosity and classic behavior of a manipulative person.
6) They overshare quickly
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone you don’t know well confides in you and is looking for your advice on a personal matter?
They could be going through something at home or need some advice about a problem at work, and they come to you with it.
Usually when someone shows you emotional vulnerability like this, it indicates that they trust you and that you have developed a strong bond between the two of you.
It’s good to be trusted and encouraged to show vulnerability as well.
But be careful – if you feel like this person is oversharing your friendship or relationship too early, it could be a trick to get you to open up and share your secrets too.
It’s a tactic that manipulative people love to use because if they can get you to open up, they can gather valuable information that they can use against you later to get what they want.
Related : People who are controlling in their relationship usually display these 9 manipulative tactics
Always remember, before sharing too much, ask yourself “Do I know this person well enough to trust them with this information?”
finalthoughts
Although they may appear friendly on the outside, some people often use deceitful tactics to manipulate you.
Emotional manipulation is rooted in your trust and care for the other person, which is why they often go to such lengths to create the illusion of true friendship.
Watch out for these behaviors and trust your gut. If you feel something off, take a step back and evaluate the situation. If they are a real friend they will understand your desire to take things slow.
If they are manipulative, you will stop them in their tracks. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.
