It’s always the little things.

We fall in love because of the little things. Open doors. Sweet texts late at night. Post-It love notes on the mirror. You get the picture. You’ve probably “tested” the image.

Take it from me: Little things also indicate your relationship’s slow descent into the abyss. The problem is that in my marriage I didn’t pay attention to those frequent and not-so-subtle warning signs (and you probably don’t either).

I was perfectly content to stick my head in the sand and carry on as if everything in my marriage was fine. I even managed to shut down my bowels when I became suspicious.

Instead, I trusted my husband and believed for sure that our wedding vows (you know, sickness and health, and death do us part) would keep us together. That was a huge mistake.

As I sat down to fill out the financial disclosure forms and visitation schedule, I thought I’d share with you some obvious warning signs I missed during ten years of marriage. And while your details may be different from mine, that feeling in your stomach that you’re probably trying so hard to ignore might be the same.

Here are 10 clear signs my marriage is over (and I missed it):

That time someone ran a red light and hit my car a block away from his office, but he didn’t even bother coming out to see if I was okay
That time, he bought every one of my Christmas presents at Walgreens while driving to my parents’ house for the annual gift opening and banquet.
FYI: I got a whiteboard and a neck massager.
One time I turned 40 and he didn’t buy me anything.
Not even a card. The children were not asked to make cards or buy gifts from them either.

That time he told me he booked our anniversary vacation at a hotel in one of my favorite beach towns, only to find out he chose the beach town I already hate with every fiber of my being.
And how we didn’t sleep together during that anniversary vacation.

How he always said “no” every time I asked him to go on a lunch date, even though we worked together at home most days.
That time he told me his work would always come first – before me and our children.
Can you tell, narcissist?
At that time I was talking to him in the car and he picked up his cell phone and made a call.

All those times he was texting while driving with me and the kids in the car, even though I repeatedly begged him not to.

“Find Locals” dating apps he found in iTunes that he claimed were downloaded using other apps without his knowledge.
In retrospect, it was the app that lets you password-protect your photos that should have set off warning bells.

Here are 10 clear signs my marriage is over (and I missed it):

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