Key Points

Factors contributing to relationship manipulation range from antisocial personality disorder to emotional control.

A recent study analyzes the impact of manipulation and other factors on relationship quality.

The findings show that any type of relationship can be affected by manipulation, but there are ways to overcome it.

Being trapped by a manipulative partner can feel not only suffocating but also helpless. Meg constantly does tasks for her partner that he could easily do himself. She not only does most of the housework, but he also subtly makes her believe that if she doesn’t comply with his demands, it’s a sign he doesn’t love her. Meg is a kind person and often helps her friends, but her partner’s constant demands are starting to overwhelm her. Is there a way for her to maintain both their relationship and her independence?

Personality Traits Underlying Manipulation

According to Meredith Turner (2026) of the University of Connecticut, “Manipulation is a common, though complex, interpersonal trait,” and is associated with psychopathic personality traits, along with a tendency to lie and emotionally abuse others. Despite all this, there is a significant lack of research on how these traits affect the continuation (or failure) of relationships with a manipulative partner. Her research aimed to systematically examine this existing research to find some answers.

Turner suggests that part of this lack of research stems from the “multiple measures” used to assess relationship quality. It’s also important to distinguish between the personality traits themselves that contribute to manipulation and the behaviors that represent factors such as power imbalances and the needs of each partner.

Meg’s problem seems to be her fear of being abandoned by her partner if she doesn’t fulfill his desires. She not only feels dependent on him (which may reflect her own needs), but he also seems to possess a kind of power over her that prevents her from standing up for herself. Whatever the reason, she began to feel that if things didn’t change, she would have to leave one way or another.

Measuring the Relational Costs of Manipulation

Turner began by reviewing nearly 6,500 scholarly articles, then narrowed it down to 16 after considering all inclusion criteria. Despite their small size, these studies encompassed 53 statistical measures of impact and approximately 11,000 participants.

The results confirm the researcher’s initial suspicions that relationships are negatively affected by the presence of a manipulative partner. The main personality trait, Machiavellianism, emerged as a significant predictor of poor relationship quality, as did emotional manipulation (e.g., “How often have you tried to make someone else uncomfortable?”). Age, gender, and relationship type had no effect on the predictor equation, suggesting that “the relational costs of Machiavellianism are constant.”

Placing these findings within a broader theoretical context, the University of Connecticut psychologist cites “relationship maintenance theory,” which contrasts loving and caring behaviors that maintain healthy relationships with “antisocial behaviors” that weaken them. In the short term, a manipulative partner might get what they want, but over time, their efforts to win over the other person will diminish due to the erosion of trust and intimacy.

Related : 6 Dark Traits of The Female Sociopath

So, the question for Meg becomes whether her growing discomfort with her partner stems from a general tendency to control others, or if it’s specific to their relationship. Turner’s research suggests that it doesn’t really matter what motivates a partner to make a sustained effort to keep Meg under control; what matters is that it happens.

Moreover, there’s a broader perspective to consider. According to “justice theory,” people will want to end a relationship where they feel they are giving more than their partner. A manipulative partner leaves the other person feeling unfulfilled.

How To Get Out Of A Manipulative Relationship

Over time, all manipulative relationships are doomed to fail. The challenge lies in minimizing the damage when you’re the victim of a manipulative partner. One of the surprising findings of Turner’s study is that age, gender, and even the closeness of the relationship don’t matter. You can fall into one of these toxic relationships with almost anyone—a friend, a neighbor, or even your hairdresser. Knowing you can leave is the first step toward actually leaving.

You don’t need a complete personality analysis to get to the next step. How often do you notice your partner playing the shame game with you? The justice theory can help with this part of the process. Meg’s partner makes her feel that if she doesn’t do all these things for him, she’s selfish. However, if she’s honest with herself, she’ll realize she gives more than she receives. You don’t need to keep a detailed record of what each of you does for whom, but generally, you should have a rough estimate of the percentage.

Next, the next step is to analyze the consequences of leaving this manipulative partner. How difficult is it to leave this destructive relationship? If it’s impossible (for example, due to work commitments or shared childcare responsibilities), it’s time to have an honest conversation about the inequalities in your relationship.

The most important question in this final step is: Do you still have feelings for this person? If those feelings are intense, then probably not. But if emotional ties still exist, be sure to acknowledge them while also asserting your independence.

In short, a manipulative person in a relationship can create tension that may ultimately lead to its end. Knowing when and how to express your own needs can help the relationship transition from an unequal one to a fulfilling one.