A narcissist never tires of trying to force you to focus your attention, time, and energy on them. More importantly, they never stop launching psychological attacks.
The narcissist is extremely cautious, constantly monitoring you for any sign of opposition, indifference, or a desire to abandon you. Because they suffer from paranoia, it takes a tremendous effort to convince them that you are safe with them. To ensure this, they launch a full-scale assault to subjugate you to their interests. They ridicule and judge you to keep you feeling small. They threaten and lash out in anger to keep you afraid. They question your every move to keep you in a constant state of self-doubt, living on the edge and re-evaluating everything you do.
Given all this, coping, let alone recovering, in a relationship with a narcissist can seem impossible. How can you when you have neither the space nor the time? However, you can start carving out time and space for yourself amidst the chaos of your relationship with the narcissist, until you decide to break away and cut off all contact, if you wish.
First, find a place of solitude where nature is present. Nature is the ideal place for healing because it is rich with the energy of natural life. More importantly, it is a place of harmony and balance that you can draw upon on your healing journey. The narcissist’s bleak world is fueled by confusion, fear, shame, and chaos. Nature is the antithesis of all that.
So, go to a park or forest, find a suitable spot, and sit down. Focus your attention first on your surroundings. Look at the trees, the insects, the plants, the colors. Feel the water, if there is a lake or river. Enjoy the sparkle, the texture, the life. Listen to the sounds of life as it moves. Then, breathe deeply into your abdomen and close your eyes.
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Meditation of your body. At first, you may only feel a constant stream of thoughts. But as time passes, those thoughts will fade, and they will deepen. You will notice feelings of shame, anxiety, and anger—all those emotions the narcissist planted in you and prevented you from expressing. Breathe deeply again. Let those feelings flow freely, just as life flows around you.
You may relive painful memories of times when the narcissist made you feel bad. A critical voice in your head may insist on shouting back. That’s okay. Observe it and encourage it to express itself. Be at peace, and let nature support you through this difficult experience. When the pressure mounts, and you feel an overwhelming urge to explode, relax even more. Give yourself more space.
Don’t let anyone intrude on your time. Put your phone on silent. Gently push away the pangs of guilt you feel for being alone. Find solace in nature. Be open to its healing properties. When you return to your life, the chaos will return, but you will still have that distant memory of what peace means.
Practice this as often as you can. Dedicate time and space to nature, and let the healing begin. Even if that time and space are much less available in a relationship with a narcissist, they are always there. They are waiting for you.
