Dealing with someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can be a complex and complicated endeavor. How do you communicate with someone with this diagnosis?

Well, the self-proclaimed “Narcissist Anonymous” regularly shares insights into the mind of a person living with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He recently offered a unique perspective on how to disarm someone who displays narcissistic behaviors.

Here’s How to “Totally Disarm a Narcissist,” according to a diagnosed narcissist.

In a recent video shared on TikTok, the anonymous narcissist, also known as “Jacob,” delved into the deep insecurities that are often present in individuals diagnosed with BPD. He noted that their outward displays of greatness and superiority are usually masks for their belief in their unworthiness.

Related: The Moment I Dangerously Angered A Narcissist (And Didn’t Even Know It)

“Basically, narcissists believe they are unlovable,” he said. “This is why narcissists often show off their personalities. This is because narcissists like me believe that we have to hide the unlovable aspects of ourselves.”

In his candid admission, Jacob asserted that some individuals may not be consciously aware of having such beliefs about themselves; It could be buried deep in their souls. This inner conflict often leads them to make accusations towards others about not having true love or care for them.

Jacob then shared his personal experience when one of his former partners was able to “disarm” him by recognizing and acknowledging these hidden parts of himself.

“She said to me, ‘Jacob, I know you’re hiding parts of yourself from me, to the point where I’m not sure I’ll ever know you all,'” he said. “I’ve caught a glimpse of the things you’re trying to hide. And I love those things just as much, if not more, than the things you’re putting out in the open.”

According to Jacob, this statement was poignant because it addressed what lies at the core of many individuals with narcissistic personality disorder: the constant feeling of being insincere or inauthentic due to the constant regulation of their outward personality.

“I constantly feel fake,” he said. “I feel like anyone who says they love me is either falling in love with my personality or doesn’t know me well enough.”

By admitting to constant mask-wearing and invisibility in her relationship with Jacob, his ex made him feel seen in a way no one else had ever felt before. “It made me feel seen more than anything else,” he said. “And so I became the only person I could truly trust to love.”

Jacob’s candid confessions provide an inside look at life through the lens of someone who daily grapples with borderline personality disorder.