Moving on from a narcissistic relationship can be a difficult and liberating experience. But how does a narcissist feel when you move on?

Understanding their reactions can provide some insights into their mindset and perhaps help you get over the effects of a breakup.

Initial shock

When you first make the decision to leave a narcissist, it can cause a huge reaction.

They are used to being in charge of the relationship, so your choice to take back your independence may leave them feeling shocked and confused.

This surprise comes from their inherent need for control and dominance.

They’ve probably regulated the dynamics of the relationship to their advantage, so when that balance is disrupted, it can be a jolt to their system.

They may find it difficult to accept that you are really planning to leave.

In their minds, they may think that this is just a phase or a trick on your part, and that you will eventually fall into the familiar patterns of the relationship.

Alternatively, they may try to downplay the importance of your decision.

By belittling your actions, they are trying to maintain their sense of control and superiority.

They convince themselves that your departure is temporary, and that you will inevitably return to them.

The narcissist’s internal conflict: Narcissistic injury

When discussing how a narcissist will feel moving on, it is important to understand the concept of “narcissistic injury.”

This term refers to the psychological blow to the narcissist when his inflated self-worth is challenged or threatened.

Narcissists live in a fantasy world where they are the center of attention, superior to others, and deserving of constant admiration.

When you decide to move on from a relationship with them, it punctures this imaginary bubble, resulting in narcissistic injury.

They may feel neglected and unimportant, which is in stark contrast to their usual perception of being loved and important.

This perceived rejection often triggers feelings of humiliation and shame.

This is a hard pill to swallow for someone who is used to feeling superior and in control.

They have been wronged in their minds, and their self-esteem has taken a huge hit.

In response to this narcissistic injury, they may intensify their manipulation tactics.

A psychological hit can trigger a wave of manipulative behaviors as they try to regain control and restore their damaged ego.

This can include guilt, gaslighting, or even outright aggression, all aimed at regaining their sense of control and repairing their wounded ego.

The narcissist’s emotional reaction: anger and revenge

So, how does a narcissist feel when you move on?

After the initial surprise wears off, the narcissist is likely to respond with anger and perhaps retaliation. This emotional response stems from their distorted view of relationships.

For the narcissist, relationships are not about mutual respect or shared growth.
Instead, they often view them as tools to assert control and demonstrate their superiority.

Therefore, your decision to leave does not only mean the end of the relationship with them; It is seen as a direct attack on their ego and self-worth.

Their anger can manifest in different ways.

They may become aggressive, hoping to intimidate you into changing your mind.

Instead, they may resort to emotional manipulation, trying to make you feel guilty about your decision to leave.

Related : Mastering the Game: How to Get a Narcissist Back

Guilt is another tactic to regain control and maintain their perverted sense of dominance.

Revenge is also a common reaction.

Feeling wronged and humiliated, they may plot revenge to appease their broken ego.

This could range from spreading rumors about you, trying to sabotage your future relationships, or trying to undermine your self-confidence.

Narcissist’s Manipulative Tactics: Flight

As you move on, the narcissist will feel desperate to regain control and restore his damaged ego. To achieve this, they may resort to hovering tactics.

This term, inspired by the Hoover vacuum cleaner brand, aptly describes their attempt to bring you back into their sphere of influence.

Hoovering can take many different forms, all designed to manipulate your emotions and lure you back into the relationship.

They may make big promises of change, claiming that they have seen the error of their ways and are willing to improve.

This can be coupled with an onslaught of compliments and affection, intended to remind you of the good times in the relationship.

Instead, they may play the victim card.

They will portray themselves as misunderstood or wronged, hoping to elicit your sympathy and guilt.

They may also try to make you feel responsible for their emotional well-being, which increases your sense of obligation to them.

Never forget that these attempts at levitation are not a true expression of remorse or love. They are calculated moves to regain control and soothe their broken egos.

The narcissist’s defensive facade: indifference

When discussing a narcissist’s reactions to moving on, one cannot ignore the role of indifference.

If their initial attempts at manipulation and control fail, they may resort to displaying an air of indifference or detachment.

Related : What Happens When an Empath Leaves a Narcissist

The narcissist will act as if your decision to leave does not affect him at all. They may portray themselves as better off without you, suggesting that your departure is actually a relief.

This can be confusing and painful, especially if you are still grappling with the emotional ramifications of the relationship.

However, it is important to remember that this indifference is another defense mechanism.
By pretending they don’t care, they are trying to protect their broken ego from further damage.

It’s a way for them to maintain their sense of superiority and control, even when reality suggests otherwise.

This so-called indifference also serves another purpose: to elicit a reaction from you.

They hope that by appearing unaffected, they will trigger feelings of doubt, guilt, or insecurity in you.

This will likely lead you to question your decision to move forward, which again plays into their desire for control.