Narcissism is like a computer program with predefined rules.

It begins with a detached, imagined mental construct known as the false self, which compensates for a traumatized and shamed core. No matter what, the narcissist constantly needs to feed this false self with narcissistic supplies in the form of flattery, attention, sex, material possessions, or favors.

To fill the voids in their detached reality, the narcissist manipulates themselves and others to create a false image of reality, desperately trying to appear “rational” and “normal.”

The narcissist associates with an idealized version of themselves rather than a real person, and when that idealized person offends them, they belittle and abandon them. This cycle repeats endlessly until the narcissist dies, abandons the relationship, or is abandoned by the world.

When support dwindles, the narcissist will reconnect with past romantic relationships and friends, and will create problems to emotionally provoke you, making it easier to manipulate you. And these “programs” keep surfacing.

When a narcissistic personality takes shape in early childhood, consciousness is completely absent. The narcissist’s awareness and true self remain trapped in the dark basement of the false self. Meanwhile, the false self takes over the ego, assuming the role of interacting with the world, ignoring the true self. Instead of the ego working in harmony with the wisdom and intuition of the true self, the false self activates its rigid and predictable narcissistic programs. All of this happens unconsciously, and the narcissist remains on a path toward a predictable and miserable end.

But that’s until they wake up.

When a Narcissist Loses His Mind

Once, I found myself talking to a narcissist about the true self and the human mind. He seemed curious, so I explained the process of freeing oneself from the ego and turning one’s consciousness inward.

The narcissist gazed into the distance for a moment, then frowned and said coldly, “No, I love my mind.”

That was an enlightening moment for me.

I think most narcissists are unaware of the nature of their condition, just as fish probably aren’t aware they’re swimming in water. But whether through divine intervention or a casual conversation that reveals the lake in which the narcissist swims—the “false self”—some narcissists will inevitably reach a stage of awareness of their surroundings. But what comes next?

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As the trembling narcissist directs their consciousness toward that dark void where their true self is imprisoned, suppressed drops of trauma, shame, and sorrow begin to seep into their bloodstream. At that moment, they turn away, grateful for the existence of their false self, which protects them from the inner deluge. The false self is a formidable dam, preventing a lifetime of trauma from exploding. It’s an inexhaustible source of dopamine and fantasy, capable of conjuring grand visions that numb the narcissist’s pain.

It’s best to stay where you feel safe, isn’t it?

But the false self is also a merciless god, demanding endless sacrifices on its altar. Neglected resources, endless days wasted feeding the narcissist’s multiple addictions, a constant drama, and squandered energy—the tyrannical false self is a god that is never satisfied and grants the narcissist no respite.

Caught between these two harsh realities, the narcissist glances at their newfound awareness with a cynical sense of hope.

Salvation or Descent into Evil?

The mere fact that a narcissist recognizes their psychological disorder doesn’t mean they can simply decide to be someone else, let alone the person their loved ones want them to be. Narcissism is a deep-seated psychological trauma formed in early childhood, pushing the narcissist far from mental health and true self-actualization.

The narcissist’s dilemma is as complex as it is tragic. They carry a deep core of psychological trauma that threatens to destroy them. They have also spent most of their life detached from reality, so they are far from mature enough to be a healthy member of society. Finally, their true self remains barren and incomplete behind their traumatized core. They remain incapable of feeling love, empathy, or anything resembling humanity. Even if the narcissist could access their true self without the obstacles of trauma, they would need to start from scratch. Does anyone have the patience, resilience, humility, and strength to undertake such a perilous task? Certainly not the narcissist. Salvation remains a distant dream.

The only other option is nihilism.

As consciousness develops, change becomes inevitable. No unconscious pattern can withstand the light of awareness. This applies to the narcissist as well. While they cannot change who they are, they can gradually break free from the grip of their false self, with all its debilitating patterns. At this point in the narcissist’s history, their malicious and psychopathic nature may emerge.

Humans are complex, and narcissism and other personality disorders vary in severity. Some narcissists are raised with moral values ​​that challenge their dark impulses. In such cases, they may choose a path of partial redemption, as nihilism and psychopathy prove too difficult and painful. That is, if they could, they would be evil, but their somewhat sound conscience prevents them.

For the psychopathic narcissist, however, it becomes a question of “why not?” By using consciousness and detachment to unlock the chains of their enslavement, the narcissist breaks free from their shackles and liberates themselves from their false self. All that remains within him is the desolation of his true self, a profound trauma threatening to destroy him.

Instead of simply seeking narcissistic gratification like an addict, the malignant narcissist now pursues sadistic pleasures, dominance, money, and other forms of power. They conjure up scenarios and deliberately manipulate people into coercing them into cooperation. They harm and humiliate others for this very reason. They become cold, calculating, and vengeful. They set ambitious and grandiose goals, disregarding all moral boundaries to achieve them.

And so, the psychopath is born.