In my 39 years of living with and knowing many narcissists, I’ve observed many strange behaviors. Knowing you’re not alone can be comforting.

Here are some of the narcissistic behaviors I’ve witnessed, along with an explanation of why they do them…

Bend To Help Others

Narcissists are often extremely kind and go out of their way to help those they don’t know well. But give their family or close friends the same attention.

I remember once asking my father for a screwdriver. He lazily suggested where it was. I returned, saying it wasn’t there. He nonchalantly suggested a few more places, barely lifting his head. I returned each time, saying it wasn’t there.

Just 5 minutes later, a neighbor knocked on the door asking to borrow the same screwdriver. My father rushed over and found it right away!

Narcissists love to be liked. They treat strangers with kindness, but they don’t do the same for those closest to them.

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Narcissists don’t feel the need to impress their partners. Either they’ve done it in the past, or you’re family and they don’t feel the need to impress you. So, you find yourself in the strange situation of going out of their way for strangers, but doing little for their own family and close friends.

I Hate Loneliness

Most narcissists fear the mere idea of ​​being alone. They need to be liked and need external validation to feel important.

When faced with the prospect of alone time, narcissists will force people to spend time with them. They don’t care if you’re busy, tired, or anything else. They need attention. So they bully, coerce, play the victim, and guilt you into having company.

Sometimes, narcissists will follow you around the house, pestering you for attention. This can be extremely suffocating.

Walk Ahead

Many narcissists have the annoying habit of walking fast, then moving forward. What should be a peaceful day turns into a frantic race to keep up.

Narcissists weave through crowds at breakneck speed, cutting in, leaving you standing in their wake. You spend more time trying to keep up than enjoying yourself. And God forbid you want to stop and look at something!

Narcissists don’t rank anyone as equals. You’re either above them or below them. And narcissists like their “nearest and dearest” to be below them.

Narcissists walk ahead of you as a means of control. They control where you go, when you stop, and for how long. You don’t get a chance to stop and look at something, or chat with a friend. They’re off!

My father always did this. If someone misses him as he disappears into the crowd, it’s their fault.

Narcissists don’t want to be your equal. They want to assert their control at every opportunity. Even walking is an opportunity to show who’s in control.

Act Oddly When You Are Sick

Most narcissists act strangely when someone close to them gets sick. They may downplay your illness and accuse you of being soft. They deliberately provoke your hostility. Or they compete with you, saying they’re sicker than you.

Narcissists like everything to revolve around them. Everything caters to their needs. They’re the ones who need special treatment, not you.

Related : Signs You Have A Narcissist Parent

Narcissists sometimes act angry when their “loved ones” get sick. They feel insulted that someone has stolen their spark.

You’re useless to them when you’re sick. And, even more disturbing, are they expected to care for you? That’s not what narcissists mean!

Narcissists Are Watching You

Sometimes, narcissists sit and watch you for no apparent reason. You might be eating a sandwich or preoccupied. They just sit and watch.

In my experience, they’re evaluating you. They’re looking for clues to excite you. They’re looking for signs of weakness. Things they can exploit.

So, if you drop a crumb, expect a resounding insult or three. Narcissists are perfectly comfortable annoying people by keeping a close eye on them.

Self Talk

You may see some narcissists repeating words to themselves. Or you may hear them talking out loud to themselves when they think no one is around.

Narcissists do this to practice what they might say in the future. They may anticipate people who might challenge their behavior or lies. They rehearse the dialogue they need to defend themselves. They act out entire conversations to prepare themselves.

Narcissists may also repeat past conversations, substituting what they said for what they should have said, or finding new ways to criticize what the other person said, especially if the narcissist feels they’ve “lost” the battle.

Random_Accusations

Many narcissists blame those close to them for meaningless things. They might accuse you of having an affair with your night school teacher, even though they’re picking you up and dropping you off. Or they might accuse you of stealing something, without any evidence or prior history of such things.

You might think the narcissist is paranoid, and that’s a sign they care. But that’s usually not the case.

The narcissist makes deliberate accusations to force you to back down. Once they accuse you of something, you go on the defensive, even if the accusation is ridiculous.

This allows the narcissist to control the situation. They may have made a mistake, and they’re using it as a smokescreen to hide their behavior. While you’re busy defending yourself, their behavior is obscure.

Or they may just be seeking attention. Because while you shake your head in disbelief, protesting your innocence, they command all your attention. And narcissists need a lot of attention.

Bad Losers Bad Winners

Narcissists hate losing, but they laugh in your face with their victories. My father would literally flip the table if he lost a family game. But he brags endlessly if he won.

Narcissists take everything personally. Even winning or losing at Snakes and Ladders.

They don’t play games for fun. They play them to win. Even when they’re playing with their kids. And if they don’t win, they get angry.

Narcissists Interrupt You

Narcissists are better at talking than listening. In their view, you’re inferior to them, so you have nothing interesting to say.

Narcissists often change the subject to something they’re interested in. And the subject is usually… them! They feel there’s no point in listening to the inane stuff from your last work meeting. They’d rather talk about how well they ironed their clothes.

Interrupting is one way narcissists assert their authority. They decide the topic of conversation, not you.

Narcissists Speak in Monologues

Narcissists don’t have one-on-one conversations. You know those where one person speaks, the other listens, and then the tables turn?

Related :; 10 Signs Your Boss Is A Narcissist

Narcissists love to monopolize the conversation space. Many of them don’t thrive on a ten-minute monologue. They’re completely oblivious to, or indifferent to, your attention or interest.

Narcissists Have Selective Memory

Narcissists are known for their selective memory. They may remember a bottle of wine they bought you 13 years ago, but not the vacation you paid for last year.

Narcissists remember what they want and simply forget the rest. They also like to rewrite history.

Follow Different Rules For Others

Narcissists often have one set of rules for themselves and a different set of rules for others.

My ex-wife had male friends. But she said I shouldn’t have female friends. I asked her why, and she said it was “different.” I pressed her on the matter.

She said that men usually admire women, so I shouldn’t have female friends. But she didn’t seem to mind having male friends. Even if, by her logic, it meant they admired her!