Want to know how to outsmart narcissists? Is it possible to beat them at their own game? Should you try?
Narcissists are masters of manipulation and have been playing mind games since they were children. They know all the tricks and cheats. Outsmarting a narcissist is like entering the Olympics without training and expecting the gold medal.
Some say that trying to outsmart someone who has no boundaries or morals is pointless and opt for the Grey Rock method of no contact. Others suggest that living a happy and fulfilled life is your best revenge. For some, this negative approach doesn’t equal the pain they’re going through. If you’re up for the challenge, here are eight ways you can get your own back.
8 Ways to Outsmart Narcissists
- Make fun of something they’re insecure about
Self-esteem is a reflection of our self-perception. It’s tied to what we think about ourselves. For many of us, self-esteem comes from within, but narcissists get theirs from without.
Related : 7 Things a Narcissist Does When You Pull Away
Narcissists need other people to reinforce and maintain their esteem. Therefore, you can manipulate their preoccupation with appearance and social status, which will affect their self-esteem.
Damage their self-esteem by finding something they are insecure about. For example, maybe they don’t like their nose. Keep staring at it. When they ask you what’s wrong, say, “Yeah, it’s crooked isn’t it?” Make sure to keep bringing it up.
- Be as boring as dishwater
To make a narcissist lose interest, be the most boring person you can be. Narcissists are reward sensitive, which means they are constantly looking for the next dopamine rush. These people love instant gratification, which is why they engage in reckless and risky behaviors.
This explains why narcissists use love bombing, where they bombard their latest victim with attention, love, and gifts, only to dump them weeks later. Remember, it wasn’t your glamorous personality that lured them in; you were new and shiny. In the future, be dull, lackluster, and uninspiring.
- Cut off your financial relationships
Narcissists don’t just rely on others for their self-esteem and image, they often use them financially. The problem is that despite feeling like they deserve the best things in life, they’re lazy. They’re not willing to put in the effort.
Instead, they feed off others, like you. To them, you’re not a loving partner, you’re someone to be exploited, used, and drained until there’s nothing left.
This parasite will happily spend your savings, contribute nothing, leave you penniless and walk away like it was just another day at the office. If you want to know how to outsmart a narcissist, cut them off financially, but rub them in the face.
For example, a narcissist complains about being hungry but has no food at home. You send them a picture of the takeout you just ordered and tell them how delicious it tastes.
- Give them false information
Narcissists use manipulation to destroy your self-esteem. You doubt yourself, which makes you an easy target for manipulation. Outsmart them using their tactics.
Here are some examples I found on Reddit:
A narcissistic boss wanted to fire an employee, so she started giving her impossible tasks and deadlines to get her to leave. The employee wanted to leave, but with a decent severance package. She pretended to want the opposite of what her boss suggested and even threw in some misleading information. The boss took the bait, and the employee left with everything she wanted.
The narcissistic boyfriend was always lying to his girlfriend about how her friends were talking bad about her behind her back. So she made up a name for a new boyfriend to see what would happen. Two days later, he told her about the texts her new boyfriend had sent him saying things about her. The look on his face when she said, “Oh, that’s funny because he doesn’t even exist.”
- Get Evidence and Challenge Their Outrageous Claims
Narcissists are consumed with status and social hierarchy. They see themselves as superior to others in all aspects of life. Narcissists have an unrealistic, positive, and exaggerated view of themselves.
For example, they believe they are highly intelligent, even if they are not, they believe they are incredibly attractive, even if they look average, they tell people they hold a high-ranking position in a multi-billion dollar company, even if they work in the cafeteria, etc.
If you want to know how to outsmart a narcissist, use the truth. Get undeniable facts that cannot be disputed. For example, if they lie about going to a prestigious college, show them the local university yearbook. Get undeniable evidence that they cannot question.
- React in the opposite way they expect
Why do narcissists go to such lengths to insult those around them? It’s all about status again. When faced with a competitor, it’s easier for narcissists to insult that competitor, rather than relying on their own qualifications or reputation, which are false and self-constructed.
Insults are harmful and diminish the status of that competitor. This is why narcissists insult you, ridicule you, or say hurtful things to you.
Related : 9 Reasons Why You Keep Attracting Narcissists
Take the wind out of their sails by agreeing or exaggerating their comments. For example, if they call you stupid, just say, “Oh!”
- Attract Them, Then Drop Them
I can tell you how to outsmart narcissists if you’re willing to play the long game. To really teach them a lesson, attract them. Play them at their own game. So, be appropriately impressed. Marvel at their accomplishments, comment on every word they say, flatter them, flatter them, and be a role model.
The goal? Become their most important narcissistic resource; the one they can always count on, the absolute sure thing. Then, when they need you, crush them with silence and disinterest, and don’t care about anything else. Watch them seek out the comfort you’ve always provided.
- Train Yourself Not to Care
If playing the long game is taking up too much energy and mental resilience, you have to teach yourself not to care. Once you stop caring about your narcissist, everything else becomes meaningless.
His accusations, his screaming fits, and his illogical words are nothing more than empty talk. Don’t spend hours deciphering his coded messages or worrying about criticizing his behavior because you don’t care.
Not caring frees you from the bullshit, lies, and manipulation. You are outside the narcissist’s suffocating world and now see things objectively. Not caring means you are not being dragged into drama and imaginary scenarios.
FinalThoughts
It is common to feel unable to end a relationship with a narcissist or to feel wronged when dealing with them. While it is impossible to get to the bottom of the truth or receive an admission of guilt from a narcissist, it is possible to play at their own game and outsmart them.
