Narcissists are great storytellers—and the more astonishing the narratives—the more they attract an audience.

To add to their grandiose outlook on absolutely everything, they weave a narrative that victimizes themselves as often as possible.

In fact, they really do believe they are victims—but you know it’s all an illusion.

Understanding why narcissists act like victims is complicated—but once you identify them, you can spot them a mile away. Fortunately, here’s a good place to start:

It’s Not Your Fault!

So, in what ways do narcissists act like victims, and what can you do to keep your eyes peeled for their strategic tactics?

TheyFeelConstantlyDeprived

Who would rule out a narcissist calling attention to themselves to get a sympathetic nod or whisper of sympathy from anyone who cares enough to listen?

The people who tend to listen are those who have no idea how destructive a narcissist can be and how much they enjoy listening to them – even if what they say is a complete lie.

Related : 10 Ways The Narcissist Makes It Impossible To Leave Them

Narcissists do this because they feel deprived of something, usually attention of some kind. If you feel unwell, they feel worse. If it’s your birthday, they’ll bring up the issue of not getting half the affection you get when it’s their birthday.

Depriving them of what they demand is an endorsement of their secret idea that they have an undeveloped identity – unable to validate themselves internally. They need attention, as if it’s the only fuel that keeps them going.

Guess who’s suffering – that’s right – you! (They’ll answer, of course.)

TheyAreOversensitive

Narcissists have intense emotions. If they feel wronged, their pride will be damaged, and the resentment that accompanies that scratch can last a lifetime.

They feel they deserve all the love and affection possible from anyone willing to give it to them, and if you don’t meet those requirements, they will tell their sad story to someone else.

Life is unfair to narcissists despite being part of a human race that constantly deals with setbacks.

They can get angry at the slightest thing, including any attempt to take something you said or did out of context.

It doesn’t matter how you feel – they will use their tactics to make you feel like you were the perpetrator and they were the victim.

A text was misinterpreted, a tone of voice was abused, even something they posted on social media that upset them – how dare you?

This hypersensitivity will draw you into their blame game – you’ll be lucky if you win.

They’re Throwing a Pity Party

What better way to gather a team of people who can heal the wounds of an emotionally incompetent narcissist bent on making himself a victim than…

…a pity party!

Narcissists draw crowds like a town crier – listen, listen, I’ve got a story to tell – woe is me!

They know who will believe their sad stories, and like a bagpiper, they’ll play the tune for a village of sympathizers who don’t know any better, who dance to their tune.

Pity parties are just performances, and those who choose to buy a ticket are getting a highly distorted version of the actual events in the narcissist’s life. The best thing you can do is keep your money in your pocket and save it for the real show.

TheyWantToBlameYou

Would it surprise you to learn that sometimes, you might be on a narcissist’s most wanted list?

They HATE YOU. Maybe you’ve wronged them unintentionally, or things are going so well for you right now that they can’t stand it.

Blaming you for something you unintentionally did or didn’t do is their way of putting the blame on you. It could be you this week and someone else the next week.

Either way, they’ll pick who they want to put in the hot seat to make you the bad guy while they continue to be the one with their tail stuck between their legs pathetically.

It’s a deliberate attempt to boost their self-esteem and a typical childish way of dealing with their feelings of envy or alienation.

EmpathyLevelsAreEmpty

Have you heard the following words:

“I’m sorry you’re going through this, what can I do to help?”

“This sounds awful. I’m here for you if you need me.”

“I care about you and I’m here to listen.”

Probably not.

That’s because these words need to be clear and true for the person to mumble them, and they don’t.

Not even a little.

A narcissist will never look at a situation from any perspective other than their own – so if you think you’ll be the one they make time for – you’re wrong.

Related : 10 Ways Narcissists Sabotage Relationships!

Any time is conditional and rarely between the two of you. You can’t expect someone who doesn’t empathize with you to care about you – which is why they use their lack of ability to connect with you to manipulate the victim into their path.

TheyNeedLove – Deeply

Let’s call a spade a spade – a narcissist hates themselves. You wouldn’t think this is the case because they appear confident, but it’s only because they’ve begged, borrowed or stolen these traits from people who have hearts.

The search for love can come in many forms, but they will be the first to sing about those who have broken their hearts or hurt them in some way.

“What’s wrong with me?”

“How could they hurt me?”

“They were the love of my life.”

These are common phrases among narcissists who have been “abandoned” by love.

What they don’t say publicly is that they push and push their victims to the point where they end the relationship and then tell the world, as if it were a global news headline, that they’ve left their heartbroken.

They need love—all the time—because they can’t provide it for themselves. They can’t look in the mirror and say, “I love what I see, I love who I am.”

As a result—they blame you.