8 clever ways to show a master manipulator you won’t play their games

The thought of being manipulated is disturbing, and the reality is alarming. Unfortunately, there are many people in the world, from salespeople, cult leaders, and influencers to friends, family co-workers, or partners, who may seek to manipulate you.

But don’t worry! In this article, I will share some invaluable tips for stopping a master manipulator in its tracks.

1) realize that they are manipulating you

This may seem obvious but the first step to standing up to the manipulator is to realize what they are doing. And if she is good at it then it can be difficult. Especially if you are a kind and confident person.

Ask yourself these questions:

• Do you get a lot of compliments, or do they like to bombard you? And then later insulting or disrespecting you? This is a form of hot-and-cold play and is one of the main techniques used by manipulators.
• Are they playing on your emotions? This usually sounds like discovering your weaknesses, such as your fears or things you are proud of. Once they do that they will prey on these issues and emotions to make you feel bad.
• In the end, do they end up making you do what they want? Or do you regularly walk away from them feeling bad or exhausted? Or wondering if you are a good person or even your brain?!

If the answer is yes to any of these questions, then they are probably manipulating you.

2) set your limits

The next step is to set your limits.

The main manipulators will try to confuse you and make the lines between right and wrong, fair and unfair, blurry, and skewed to their desires. By having a relatively objective understanding of what fair boundaries are, you will have a measure to measure their actions.

Here are some good boundaries that you can set for yourself:

• Your time is precious. You can say” no ” to requests, demands, or obligations that overload you.
• Your feelings and opinions deserve respect, even in disagreement. Insults, bullying, and dismissal invalidate you.
• Your personal space, money, possessions, and Privacy belong to you. They cannot be taken or used without explicit consent.
• Major life decisions are made by you alone to live, work, relationships, etc. External pressure for conformity violates self-determination.
• You expect honesty and originality in relationships. Deception, omission of facts, or concealment of intentions crosses the line.
• Your body is inviolable and its boundaries are sacred. Any touching against your Will is unacceptable, regardless of the rationale.
• You can opt out of conversations, interactions, or activities that you find draining, unproductive, offensive, or manipulative without feeling guilty or apologizing.
• Someone else’s needs, requests, or values do not replace yours by default. A settlement requires effort from both parties, not just you.

Keeping these personal boundaries in mind helps reveal when the manipulative person aims to control, use, Steam, or distress you. Crossing these lines is not always acceptable.

3) Do Not Feed the monkey

Now that you know how to define manipulation and what boundaries to set, what can you do to show that you will stand your ground in reality?

The manipulator often tries to involve you by insulting you or insulting your behavior. They do it to shoot you and get a response. Anything you say Can and will be used against you. Just stop reacting or trying to defend yourself.

Just say yes or nod your head or mmmm. Outwardly agree, but check inside.

The caveat here is that you should not absorb what they are saying. It’s more a case of disengagement and not giving them fuel to continue the fire. When the monkey gets no food it will go looking elsewhere!

You’re ‘removing the narcissistic supply’.

4) but do not feed the ego

Well, that’s not necessarily advisable, but it’s advice shared by Kanika Batra, a YouTuber who has been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder and narcissism.

She advises those who want to manipulate the manipulator to play for their sense of ego and the need for validation.

The majority of narcissists and manipulators (except great narcissists) have extremely low self-esteem. They will go to great lengths to regulate their personality and control what people think about them. This is usually the reason why she will constantly put you down and manipulate you.

Kanika tells the story of her childhood friend Alice who realized that Kanika likes to look rich and will exaggerate her status. ‘Alice’ is going to play on this, pretending that she has no money. Kanika then buys her all sorts of things to make herself feel good and important, and to reaffirm this claim of wealth.

Many years after that, Kanika found out that Alice had the same amount of money as she did. The manipulator was manipulated.

5) Don’t praise them anymore

This is the opposite strategy. Instead of feeding their ego and buying into their narrative of being the greatest, simply stop complimenting them.

If they proudly tell you something they did, just look at an empty and uninteresting face. This is another way to cut off the supply of an unsafe manipulator.

But beware, it is likely to start a fight about something after this. Get ready to apply one of the other tips such as…

6) keep them at arm’s length and avoid them

If this person is not someone you live with, then just stay away when he tries to involve you in manipulation. If for any reason you can’t completely avoid them-maybe they work at your workplace, you can still stay superficially friendly, but don’t let them get too close.

Don’t tell them any personal information about you (e.g. Don’t give them ammo!) And if they suggest a meeting outside of work or school, politely refuse.

This way you can avoid tension or drama but also avoid being manipulated.

7) keep saying no

Not all salespeople are bad, I mean, if you need to buy things, salespeople can be very useful. But some of them are manipulative.

Many years ago, I trained in various sales techniques as part of a door-to-door salesperson job. (Yes I know, annoying! But for most people, we were offering a cheaper alternative to their energy supplier).

One of the rules we learned was ‘three numbers and then you go’. Now not all salespeople will respect these rules. But many will do it, hoping that they are moral. But in the case of a manipulator, they will realize that you are serious and that they are wasting their time.

Simply say no politely and firmly. If they don’t stop or chase after the third number, you can go.

8) close the conversation

Another technique that salespeople sometimes use is to ‘close the deal’. So instead of asking you if you want to buy something or not, they say, ‘ How do you want to pay cash or card? This gives you two options, both of which you want.

RELATED:6 seemingly minor things you should never tolerate in a relationship

Another way to do this is to ask a question that the other person can’t realistically refuse, like ‘ Do we all want to save money right?’

You can reverse this and close the conversation. How? Tell the person thanks, but I’m not interested and I have to go now. Is that okay? Magic is in the last sentence. Often the manipulator will be so surprised by your question that he will not have to say this other than yes.

Because how can they say no to that? Boom! You just closed closer!

Final thoughts

Manipulation can be a terrible experience. We hope that these tips will help you to stand your ground and resist their games.

But if this is not enough or you feel a lot of pressure, unhappiness, or helplessness, consult friends, family, or people in authority.

Always remember your limits and stay true to them. And do not be afraid to ask others to defend you if this is what is required.