When you’re first dating someone, the flames of new love are so intense and your chemistry is so intense that it can be difficult to see a man’s dominant personality traits for what they are.

You may also make an unconscious decision not to see the red flags of emotionally abusive relationships that are visible to your friends and family as they helplessly look on from the outside. After all, things are going well. Why ruin a mostly good thing with unnecessary detachment, right?

Because you don’t want to end up burned out, heartbroken, and possibly traumatized down the road, for that matter. Therefore, it can be very helpful to know the outward signs of someone who is potentially sick before you give them your heart.

Here are 5 personality traits of men you want to run away from to avoid emotionally abusive relationships.

1. Selfishness

There’s a word for this guy, and it’s “narcissist.” Narcissists display a confident, complacent mask for the world to see as a coping mechanism for their deepest pain.

Related: People With These 7 Personality Traits Are Most Likely To Not Be Loyal In Relationships

However, there is a spectrum of narcissism that can range from a normal selfish person to a manipulative person to someone who fits the clinical diagnostic criteria for narcissistic personality disorder.

Regardless of where he stands in this ranking, you’d better believe that in a relationship with an overly inflated man, you’re just another thing he exposes solely for his benefit. Being.

2. He has a questionable charisma

His charisma is another part of the appearance he wears to hide his true identity, his knowledge of what women want to feel and hear. Let’s just say it’s probably based on a lot of experience.

This man knows how to say the right words and touch you in the right way to get you addicted to him before you even have a chance to get to know him and honestly evaluate the relationship. He uses his charm and charisma to his advantage, all in an attempt to bring you under his control. Being.

3. Apathetic

On the first few dates, as you get to know each other, he may show a polite interest in learning more about you. He may ask you about your hobbies and home life and want to know who you are on a deeper level.

However, if over time his interest in you as a person—what motivates you, how your day went, or what your needs are—dwindles to practically nothing, he’s likely to be more of an energy drain than a source. Of mutual love in a relationship. Being.

Related: 5 Common Reasons An Adult May Keep A Child From Their Grandparent, According To Experts

4. Underestimation

He’s smart enough to know that your outright insult will cause you to jump ship immediately, but he may belittle you in underhanded ways in a subtle attempt to control you.

Be on the lookout for common toxic behaviors:

Giving you pet names that refer to your appearance or intelligence in a negative way
Scolding, insulting, or ignoring your family and friends
Treating you disrespectfully through actions such as stepping on you
Unkind displays of masculine strength like lifting you off the ground when it’s something you’ve told him you don’t like

While these “little things” may seem innocent enough, they are often an abusive man’s way of gradually destroying your self-esteem and manipulating you into accepting his bad behavior by normalizing it. Don’t allow him to underestimate you. Instead, run.

5. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is an actual psychological term. It is a form of manipulation that aims to “plant seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or members of a targeted group, in the hope of making them question their memory, perception, and reason. Using persistent denial, disinformation, contradiction, and lying, it attempts to destabilize the target and delegitimize his or her belief.”

It is a favorite tactic of abusive people that aims to make someone question their reality to control them. When a gaslighter wants to wear you down, he will lie, deny, try to confuse you, project his problems onto you, and call you crazy – and these are just a few examples.

A man who uses any of these manipulative tactics should give you a huge red flag about a potential relationship with him. Being.

If the person you’re talking to or dating exhibits any of these five annoying traits, run away from them as much as you can, and never think about looking back.