Love bombing is the narcissist’s secret weapon.

In this article, we discuss everything there is to know about this subtle and dangerous manipulation tactic – what love bombing is, what the signs of a love bomber are, and what you can do about it.

What exactly is love bombing?

In the simplest terms, love bombing is a type of romantic manipulation.

It is often used by toxic and narcissistic individuals, who have experienced seeing love bombing firsthand (from parents or other relationships in their lives).

Love bombing is the manipulation of the victim in a romantic partnership by showing exaggerated affection at the beginning of the relationship.

Related : Divorcing a narcissist: 14 things you need to know

The goal of love bombing is to make them helpless and vulnerable to the manipulator.

In other words, the victim is relentlessly “bombarded” with love at the beginning of the relationship, making them believe that they have to conform to a very high commitment in the relationship, which becomes an impossible pursuit.

This leaves the victim feeling deeply indebted to their supposed romantic partner, and therefore vulnerable to anything their partner might want from them.

What is the purpose of love bombing?

If your focus is not 100% on the love-bombing narcissist, they will get angry. They won’t be able to understand that you have other things going on in your life.

But here’s the kicker:

Narcissists struggle to maintain mutually beneficial relationships.

In other words, the relationship will only benefit them, and over time, you will be left in the dark to heal your emotional wounds.

Now this is the main issue:

It can be really hard to know when this is happening to you.

After all, not every romantic and kind person is a narcissist.

So, how do you distinguish between true expressions of love and the actions of a love-bombing narcissist?

15 Clear signs of love bombing

If you’re not sure whether or not you’re a victim of a love bombing, here are fifteen clear signs of a love bombing.

Although an individual sign doesn’t necessarily mean your romantic partner is a love bomber, the majority of the signs together should raise red flags for you:

1. “I love you” comes easily to them
   All relationships have their steps, so an early “I love you” isn’t necessarily a bad sign. But a mature partner understands that love is something you should think about before you say it.

If your partner wants to skip the natural process of falling in love, he may be a love bomber, or he may just be a hopeless romantic.

What can you do?

When it comes to falling in love with someone, the magic seems real, but the reality is much different.

If someone comes into your life and you find yourself attracted to them, you would be right to question the legitimacy of the relationship and your partner’s motives.

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t trust the relationship, but you should be wary of any relationship that seems to come out of nowhere and answer all your prayers.

It’s probably too good to be true, and this person may be trying to blind you so they can manipulate you later.

You will find that over time, their behavior changes and they seem to need things from you instead of making you feel like the special person you are.

This is the beginning of the end of these narcissistic relationships.

Keep your wits about you and know when things are moving too quickly.

Remember that true love grows slowly and moving fast is not what it seems. Only by moving slowly can a satisfying and intimate relationship develop.

In other words:

Take it slow, respect yourself, love yourself, and don’t fall too fast for someone desperate to convince you.

2. They always say the right things
   Love bombers have a lot of experience with manipulation, so they know how to push the right buttons at just the right times.

You feel like they always know exactly what to say at the right moments to make you fall in love with them deeper, so much so that it feels a little strange.

3. It’s so good, it doesn’t look real
   No relationship is perfect. But for some reason, your relationship with your love bomber is flawless in every way.

It makes you feel amazing, special, and loved at all times, especially at the beginning of a relationship. It doesn’t seem right and you suspect something else might be going on.

4. They are incredibly fast
   On top of saying “I love you” incredibly early in the relationship, they also want to approach other relationship milestones at an incredible pace.

Things like meeting parents, traveling to other countries, and moving in together — relationship milestones that usually take months if not years to build up, love bombers want to achieve in days or weeks.

5. They live on grand gestures
   It’s as if you can never have a normal date with your love bomber. Almost every time you see it, there’s something new you’ll be surprised by.

Lifetime experiences like a hot air balloon ride, plane tickets to Paris, writing songs or poetry about you – these are normal events in your relationship with them.

6. The compliments are endless
   You are beautiful, smart, amazing, funny, sexy, incredible, unbelievable, absolutely amazing, and so much more.

While an occasional compliment is never a bad thing, a love bomber will shower his victim with compliments to the point where no compliment from anyone else means anything anymore.

Related : Toxic husband: 8 signs and how to deal with him

In short, love bombing is about abundance. It’s about making the person feel overwhelmed by your emotions and giving them time to move from one sign of emotion to another without really processing it.

Some readers may wonder: What makes all of this wrong? You may see love bombing as an overly affectionate partner, and some people like to be pampered and treated like queens.

But the truth is that the good part of love bombing only happens at the beginning when the love bomber tries to woo his victim. Once they get what they want, love suddenly disappears.

7. When you are in a bad situation, they will act like they are your savior
   The narcissist’s eyes will light up when they are in a bad situation

Finally, it’s their chance to take control.

They will make it seem like they are the hero and without them, you will fail. They will remind you of this often in subtle ways.

Here’s what you need to look for:

The main difference between a person who truly helps you out of the goodness of their heart and a narcissist is that a real person will not overdo it.

They are focused on helping you and won’t need to get anything out of it. They are not looking for a reaction from you.

A narcissist is just the opposite.

The narcissist will help you while expecting admiration from you. They will tell you that what they do is nice and helpful.

What can it do for you?

Pay attention to their reactions when they help you. The narcissist will focus on how helpful and kind they are, even though the problem is about you.

8. They want you to think they are the best person you have ever dated
   Love bombing is all about making you addicted to them. They want you to like them so they can ultimately manipulate you to get what they want.

They want you to think you can’t do better.

How would a narcissist do this?

They will ask questions about your past lovers. They will likely insult them and try to make them look like losers.

After all, they are trying to compare themselves and show that they are better. They want you to realize how lucky you are to be dating them.

Here’s what they do:

They just lower your self-worth to a level where you are manipulated into believing that you are truly lucky to have them.

What can you do?

If they drop subtle hints about how great they are, or how much better they are than previous people you’ve dated, talk about how selfish and weak they are.