Never underestimate how cunning toxic people are.
Not only do they manipulate situations, they have a way of using their words to subtly degrade and hurt people.
You may have encountered this.
They are fast. So quickly, that by the time you realize what they’re saying, they’ve already moved on.
Worse still, if you criticize them for their harsh words, they will accuse you of overreacting!
Well, not anymore. In this article, I will share with you 14 phrases that toxic people use to bring others down.
Related : If someone displays these 15 behaviours, they’re not a positive influence on your life
Pay attention – next time someone uses these phrases against you, you’ll know what you’re dealing with…
1) “You’re too sensitive.”
This is what bothers me and is something most people have been told before.
So let me start by saying – you are never too sensitive. Having emotions is normal and healthy.
When someone uses this line, it’s usually to shift the focus from their bad behavior to your reaction.
It is cruel in two ways; They avoid taking responsibility for their actions and leave you wondering if you are overreacting.
2) “I was just kidding.”
No, they weren’t. You knew he wasn’t there and neither did anyone else in the room.
But this is another classic phrase that toxic people use to bring others down.
They say something bad and mean, and when you try to criticize them, all of a sudden, “It was just a joke, calm down.”
3) “You’re overreacting.”
You probably didn’t overreact at all.
But a toxic person will use this phrase regardless. They want to get away with any bullshit they do or say, and they don’t want anyone to challenge them.
So, when you confront them, they will find a way to focus on your reaction rather than their behavior, which is very similar to the first point I mentioned.
4) “You won’t understand.”
Talk about being transcendent!
The last time I was shocked by this sentence was from a family member, so I responded very calmly: “Oh sorry, I forgot that you are the only person who can understand such things. It is a wonder that I have survived so long in the world!”
Never allow anyone to make you feel like you are not smart enough to follow a conversation or learn something new.
Their sense of superiority actually comes from insecurity, so we should really pity them.
5) “I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of this.”
This is another way to invalidate your feelings or fears. Instead of taking a minute to understand where you’re coming from, toxic people will use this phrase to shut you down.
They want to make you feel like you’re overreacting. When in reality, you’re probably making a lot of sense given the circumstances!
6) “You always…” or “You never…”
Ah, finals. As Merriam-Websters defines it:
“There is something final, complete and final.”
In other words, it’s really hard to argue against that. When someone says, “You never support me,” or “You always let me down,” they are essentially painting you into the proverbial corner.
From here, you’re supposed to rack your brains over all the times you’ve supported them or all the times you’ve shown up for them, just to try and defend yourself.
7) “If you really loved me, you would…”
feeling guilty. This tactic is used by a toxic person who wants to bring you down.
Because after hitting you with that phrase, if you don’t do what they want, you’ll end up feeling bad. And they know it.
That’s why toxic people use the all-too-common manipulation tactic to get what they want.
In a healthy relationship, you will never need to prove your love in these ways.
8) “Everyone thinks that…”
Are they?
Years ago, I helped an ex start his new coffee shop. I spent hours cleaning, taking orders, and helping him put systems in place (he had no idea what he was doing).
One day, during a petty argument, he called me a bully. Then he took it a step further and said, “Everyone thinks so, even some of my customers.”
At the time, he made me feel like absolute crap. Then I realized; I had a great relationship with his clients and employees. I’m not bossy (I’m British and very polite!).
In the end, he said that just to put me down. And for a while, it worked.
9) “Why can’t you be like [someone else]?”
Making comparisons is another way toxic people can bring you down.
It’s as if they are saying: “You are not good enough as you are.”
Not only does this instill a feeling of insecurity, but you may also begin to resent the person you are being compared to.
If someone in your life says this to you, you’ll probably be better off without them.
10) “You owe me.”
That’s the problem I have with this phrase – if you agree to do something for someone, it should be because you want to help them, not so you can hang it over their head for the rest of their life!
Related : 7 signs you’re actually the one creating drama in your family
But this is how toxic people control others. They make you feel bad for asking for a favor, and then constantly remind you that you owe them in return.
11) “Nobody has a problem with that.”
The truth is that if you have a problem with someone’s behavior, others will likely have it too. They just didn’t talk about it.
But using this line, toxic people make you feel isolated and alone. As if you are the only one who has a problem.
Instead of accepting that they did something to upset or hurt you, they would rather make you feel bad instead.
12) “You can’t take a joke.”
This is quite similar to the second statement mentioned in this article.
Typically, toxic people use this line after they make a rude or hurtful remark. When you don’t lie down and take it, they’ll pretend like you don’t have a sense of humor.
Although it was clear that they were not joking at all, it was just another way to get away with their toxic behavior!
13) “Look what you made me do.”
One thing toxic people struggle with is taking responsibility for their actions.
That’s where the phrase comes in – when they make a mistake, in some way, it’s your fault.
They do this because instead of admitting what they did (and feeling bad about it), they would rather put you down and blame you instead.
In these situations, don’t be afraid to exactly point out that it has nothing to do with you – their actions are on them!
14) “You’re just jealous.”
And finally, another one of my pet peeves. When my ex kept texting my so-called “friend” at odd times of the night and day, and I asked him what was going on, he insisted I was jealous.
Jealous and crazy, indeed.
It turns out they had something going on, but for months he made me feel like a psycho bitch. He made me feel guilty for not trusting him.
But when I learned the truth, I realized that my intuition had been right all along.
So there is a lesson for you – always trust your gut!
We’ve now covered 14 phrases toxic people use to bring others down. If you have someone like this in your life, my advice is to cut them off.
They are adults. They know what they are doing. Sure, you can try talking to them first (it’s worth it), but if they don’t change, you’ll need to distance yourself.
