In an ideal world, there would be no psychopaths, murderers, or people trying to manipulate you for their own selfish reasons.

Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world, and there are many things we need to look out for.

One of them is not letting our partner manipulate us. I know it’s unfortunate that some people have to deal with these things, but that’s why we’re here to help.

So, without delay, here are the manipulative behaviors you should never tolerate in a relationship.

1) You try to control every aspect of your life

If there’s anything that sounds manipulative, it’s trying to control every aspect of your partner’s life.

If you are in a relationship and this is the reality, then you seriously need to reconsider what you have gotten yourself into.

If your partner insists on controlling what you wear, who you talk to, and even your daily schedule, then you are just a puppet in his eyes. You live under a microscope with little room for personal freedom.

Getting out of such a relationship must be difficult, and repairing it and regaining balance is even harder.

If controlling behavior becomes abusive or if you fear for your safety, prioritize your well-being.

Contact the domestic violence hotline or seek help from local resources. Your safety is the top priority.

2) They make you feel bad for getting what they want

Guilt tripping is another well-known and common tool of manipulators. They love to use it every chance they get.

Imagine this: You have plans with friends, but your partner suddenly feels unwell and feels guilty about leaving them alone.

They are clearly emotionally manipulating you to make you feel bad for doing something they planned.

They don’t want you to go and will do a lot of bad little tricks like this, so you decide to stay home with them.

Look familiar?

But it gets worse.

3) Use fear to manipulate your decisions

Fear is a great motivator, and manipulators know it. That’s why they constantly threaten you to do things their way.

For example, your partner threatens to leave or end the relationship every time there is a disagreement.

It’s emotional blackmail, forcing you to comply with their wishes for fear of losing them. If you notice this happening more and more, know that they will never stop this behavior.

You can choose to ignore them or confront them.

4) He cuts you off from friends and family

Isolating you is another thing they like to do. It discourages you from spending time with friends or family, creating a feeling of dependency.

They try to build a fortress around the relationship, leaving you with limited communication outside of it.

This way, they will be able to control you, and you will have no one to trust or talk to, especially regarding their behavior.

In the process, they make your family and friends look very bad and paint themselves as the only person you truly deserve and need.

It’s easy to not see this coming, but know that it’s never too late to reach out to your loved ones, even if you’ve already burned bridges.

5) He ignores you instead of communicating

Ignoring your partner is never a good thing. However, manipulators will not shy away from this because it is another form of control over you.

That’s why, instead of talking about the problems, they may ignore you for days.

It’s as if you are in a one-sided freeze, where they don’t want to communicate, leaving you feeling isolated and frustrated.

Have an honest and calm conversation with your partner about his behavior. Use “I” statements to express how you feel about their actions rather than placing blame.

For example, say: “I get frustrated when…” instead of “You always…”.

6) Gas lighting

Unfortunately, gaslighting has become a common term in the last couple of decades, even though it has been around much longer.

And she’s right about that. Manipulators love to put the spotlight on others.

Imagine that you are sure about something, but your partner insists that you are wrong, and even makes you doubt your memory or perception.

For example, you remember planning a meeting, but they swear it never happened, making you doubt your sanity.

If it keeps happening, start writing everything down so you can confront him about his behavior.

Even if you fail, and they don’t admit they did it, you’ll know for sure that you won’t go crazy.

7) Always pointing the finger at you instead of taking responsibility

You express your concerns, but your partner turns it around and blames you for everything. It’s like playing a game of emotional hot potato, where they never take responsibility and always shift the blame onto you.

This is manipulation 101, where it’s never their fault. Maybe they believe it themselves.

However, this does not mean that it is true. Taking responsibility is what adults do.

Because they cannot or do not want to admit their mistakes, they often portray themselves as victims.

8) Constantly portraying themselves as the one suffering

No matter the situation, your partner in one way or another always ends up being the victim. They distort events to make you feel guilty, as if you are the one who constantly causes them distress.

If your partner is one of these people, there is no point in talking about it. They just love drama, and they love to play the victim.

They know it’s a great way to get everything they want. I mean, no one wants to blame the victim for something, right?

9) Connecting chains

Love should be unconditional, but imagine your partner only showing affection or support when you meet certain conditions or expectations.

It’s like love that comes with a rule book instead of being given freely.

For example, they may shower you with love when you agree with them but withdraw your affection when you express different opinions.

Or your partner only supports your goals or ambitions if they align with his or her vision or values.

If your choices don’t meet their approval, they withhold support, explaining that their encouragement depends on meeting their standards.

10) They use your emotions against you to get what they want

Manipulators also use your emotions against you. For example, if you express your needs, they threaten to hurt themselves to manipulate you into doing what they want.

It’s an outrageous way to always get what they want. Here’s another example:

Your partner expresses deep disappointment, saying things like: “I thought you cared about us. I never expected you to prioritize your career over our relationship.

With this approach, they are looking to manipulate your emotions by playing on your fear of disappointing or hurting them.

When someone uses your feelings against you, they are playing with your feelings as a tool to get what they want.

It puts them under control by making you feel guilty, afraid, or pressured. This can affect your ability to make choices that are right for you.

To deal with this, you must spot these tricks, set clear boundaries, and promote open communication.

11) They belittle you instead of supporting you

Picture this: Instead of offering helpful advice, your partner’s move is to put you down.

It’s like you live in a world where everything you do is criticized, making you question your own worth.

Instead of uplifting support, it’s a constant stream of negativity that can negatively impact your self-esteem.

Take a moment to reflect on your feelings and recognize the impact their words have on your self-esteem. Understanding your feelings is the first step to addressing the situation.

Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your experiences. Having a support system can give you valuable perspectives and emotional support as you navigate through this difficult situation.

12) Using affection as a tool for control
Manipulators also use affection as a reward system. If you do what they want, they shower you with affection; If not, they withdraw it.

But affection is not just physical; It can also include verbal expressions. Your partner may withhold compliments, kind words, or affirmations unless you adhere to his expectations or standards of behavior.

They may open up emotionally or share their feelings only when they believe it serves their agenda.

Recognizing these patterns is crucial to maintaining a healthy, balanced relationship.

13) Keep you on your toes to maintain control

Finally, some manipulative partners set arbitrary rules that are constantly changing. In this way, you are trying to navigate a maze blindfolded, never knowing what is expected of you from one moment to the next.

One day, they insist on constant communication, and the next, they are distant from you, leaving you unsure of how to proceed.

Also, even a minor disagreement may be met with intense anger one day and complete indifference the next, keeping you on your toes.

This means that what was acceptable yesterday has suddenly become a point of conflict today, making it difficult for you to meet their changing standards.

finalthoughts

You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel respected, valued, and free to be yourself.

If your partner is unwilling to change or if the situation becomes unsafe, prioritize your safety above all else.