Narcissists are bad individuals who only care about themselves.

But many of us can still fall under their spell.

That’s because they have many manipulation tricks that attract us.

Here are some classic phrases that narcissists use to manipulate your emotions.

1) “Calm down, you’re overreacting!”

The goal is to make you feel like the unreasonable person you are.

We all know how angry it can be to be asked to calm down when we’re upset.

That’s because it’s a blatant attempt to belittle what you’re feeling and an attempt to make you feel wrong about it.

Regardless of whether you are completely justified or not, the narcissist will throw this phrase at you to try to make you feel small.

2) “I know it’s only been a few weeks, but I’ve never felt this way before.”

It is important to remember:

Narcissists, especially in the beginning, often rely on love bombing to get you on their side. This means they will say (and do) things that make you feel special.

The key to discovering it is that it is disproportionate. For example:

Confessing your mad love when you haven’t known each other for a long time
Offer non-stop compliments and compliments
Which suggests they can’t live without you

3) “You know I didn’t mean it”

Or maybe: “You know I really love you.”

This happens when the narcissist tries to use your goodwill toward them against you. They know that you have strong feelings for them at this point. So they will use that to their advantage.

When they use phrases like these, they are looking for excuses for something bad they did.

They are trying to appeal to your good nature by saying that you should know them well enough to know that their behavior is not the “real” ones.

The problem is that it’s real to them.

4) “I’m sorry you feel this way”

This is a very frustrating statement to hear from anyone.

At first glance, it may seem like an apology. But in reality, this is not the case.

Instead of being sorry for hurting you or doing something wrong, they’re just sorry that you don’t like it. This is something completely different!

It’s a complete deviation from you.

In the process, you may feel like they are trying to invalidate your feelings.

5) “If you loved me, you would.”

Narcissists love to question your feelings for them. It’s a great way for them to try to play the victim.

By playing the “poor me” card they can switch roles. The truth is that they are unfair and demanding of you.

They are trying to get you to do something you don’t want to do, which makes them wrong, not you.

But by using this phrase, they are making the situation a test of your affection. They are trying to manipulate your emotions by making you feel guilty.

6) “This bullshit is beneath me and I don’t have time for it.”

This is another way for the narcissist to minimize your frustrations by minimizing them.

Hopefully this phrase paints you as frivolous and immature.

At the same time, they try to take the moral high ground by signaling that they will rise above it.

7) “If I were you, I would be very careful about what you say next.”

When they don’t get their way, narcissists are perfectly happy to resort to threats.

However, they will most likely avoid making it public and will use a suggestive phrase like this.

They don’t elaborate on the threat, but it’s still implicit and therefore no less dangerous.

It is a warning not to cross them in the hope of maintaining their power over you.

8) “This is completely unfair.”

Narcissists have a distorted sense of what justice looks like.

In their world, having all their needs consistently met is what is considered fair. Anything else is unfair. They expect to live by their own rules, which are separate and above the rules of others.

They believe they are special cases, and therefore if they are asked to do what is expected of others, you are likely to hear them protest that this is not true.

9) “I don’t know why you treat me this way.”

Narcissists are master manipulators, yet they have a knack for always turning things around.

As we have already seen, no matter what happens, they are the victim. They are the people who find it difficult to do this. They were misunderstood. They are the innocent, persecuted party.

Even if you confront them about inappropriate behavior, instead of admitting it and fixing it, they will try to make you feel bad about it.

The hope is that you won’t feel guilty for standing your ground or having boundaries.

10) “You’re always the drama queen.”
Narcissists like to shift all responsibility for things onto you.

It’s not them who behaves badly, it’s always you who:

• He overreacts
• Can’t take a “joke”
• Very sensitive method
• It is designed to put your answer into question.

They want you to feel foolish or misled in your reaction. This way they can downplay the importance of their actions.

11) “I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but you really need to get some help.”

It’s called “gaslighting,” and it’s classic when it comes to narcissists.

One of the most toxic tactics a manipulative narcissist uses is to try to make you doubt your own mental health.

They are the troubled ones, but they want you to feel like the problem is entirely with you.

They are trying to make you question your version of reality.

Although they may try to pretend that they pity you or are concerned for you, this type of statement does not imply any concern.

It’s 100% an insult they’re throwing at you to try to get you to back off.

12) “I had fun”

This is the type of phrase a narcissist will use when you say no to one of his demands.

If you try to maintain boundaries, they will try to twist it and make you suddenly nervous.

They are probably the ones who went from being charming to being controlling and manipulative.

But statements like these want to make you think that it is you who has changed, not him.

The goal is simple:

To give in to what they want. So they’ll try to make you feel like you’re killing joy until you do.

13) “We’re meant to be together”

If you become romantically involved with a narcissist, it may be difficult for you to escape their web.

After bombarding you with love, they try to create this overly romantic story around your relationship.

They may suggest that you are soulmates or twin flames. They may try to remind you that the course of true love never runs smoothly.

But this is designed to keep you going even after things get toxic.

This solicitation is manipulation to get you to invest in your relationship even though it is not healthy.

By making you both seem like “fate” or “destiny,” they hope that you will put up with their ever-increasing bad behavior.

14) “I need you”

This is a smart phase because it makes you feel guilty and makes you feel special, all at the same time.

Hearing that someone can’t live without you and depends on you puts a lot of responsibility on your shoulders.

Too much actually!

But they can also manipulate your emotions by making you feel like you’re more important to them than anyone else.

15) “How could you leave me after everything I did for you!”
Maybe you found the courage and strength to walk away from the narcissistic person in your life.

When you can’t handle their unreasonable behavior, you know you should cut ties with them. But they won’t make it easy for you.

Instead of accepting your decisions, they may try to woo you back by appealing to your sense of loyalty. They want you to feel bad because you “left them in the lurch” or didn’t support them through thick and thin.

But despite their protests, you don’t owe them anything. Your first duty of care should always be to yourself.

How to drop phrases from a narcissistic person

Now you know what to look for, how do you deal with it?

Spotting narcissistic statements is only the first step.

Learning how to deal with it in the best way can provide you with more protection.

Here’s how:

• Try to avoid confrontation and resist being drawn into what they tell you
• This means reminding yourself that you are not to blame
• Instead, he refused to play at their game
• Work on strengthening your boundaries
• Think about whether you should remove this person from your life once and for all
• Don’t be afraid to ask for outside support for guidance and comfort in doing so