Growing up with a narcissistic father has a profound impact on his daughter’s life. From strict expectations to emotional manipulation and neglect, daughters of narcissistic fathers (DoNFs) suffer serious psychological damage, resulting in symptoms that continue into adulthood. In this post, we will explore the 10 most common symptoms that daughters of narcissistic parents experience and how they may affect them in adulthood.
Understanding and acknowledging these symptoms is an important part of discovering ways to heal from your past, build resilience, and create healthier relationships with yourself and others.
Living with a narcissistic father
If you grew up with a narcissistic parent, you may have experienced some of the following:
Nevergoodenough
No matter what you did, it wasn’t good enough for your father.
You could have got a straight A, been captain of the varsity team, been elected president of the student union – and still he would have found something worth criticizing.
The negative message you received from your father’s criticism lodged itself in your mind, making it difficult for you to feel safe and valued.
Constant criticism destroyed your self-esteem, and you grew up believing that you were somehow damaged or that you were inferior to everyone else.
It is important to realize that these underlying feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy resulted from your experiences with your narcissistic parent, and do not reflect the truth about who you are or the potential within you.
You always compare yourself to others
Because your father constantly pitted you against others (usually your siblings), you grew up comparing yourself to others.
These comparisons have led to feelings of insecurity and an inability to accept yourself as you are.
Your self-worth becomes tied to how others perceive you, creating a cycle of comparison and judgment that can be difficult to break free of.
You may find yourself experiencing mixed emotions as you strive to protect and improve yourself, making it difficult to know where to draw the line between healthy competition and toxic comparison.
You always felt lonely
Because your father was never there for you emotionally, you always felt alone—even when you were in a room full of people.
This loneliness was especially difficult to bear because it was closely intertwined with feelings of abandonment and an inner feeling that something was missing in your life.
As a result, you begin to doubt yourself and your worth. Fear of being lonely or unloved when they have good intentions.
Your father was never proud of you
No matter what you accomplished, your father was never proud of you. This lack of approval led to feelings of emptiness and a need for constant validation from others.
This need for validation made you feel vulnerable and made it difficult to develop a strong sense of self-worth.
It also led to feelings of hopelessness, because checking from outside sources was never enough to counter the beliefs you had internalized about not praising your father.
Your father was emotionally abusive
Your father was emotionally abusive in two ways.
First, by constantly belittling and criticizing you.
The second: withholding his love and approval.
This emotional abuse inevitably created a range of psychological problems, such as distorted thought patterns, ranging from excessive self-doubt to blaming yourself for situations that were beyond your control.
You felt unimportant, unseen and unheard.
As the daughter of a narcissistic father, you have probably felt unimportant, unseen, and unheard.
Your father would take care of everything himself and would never listen to you or care about you.
Narcissistic parents ignore their daughters’ feelings and desires. This can lead to feelings of low self-worth, isolation and resentment.
The effect on the daughters of narcissistic fathers
As daughters of narcissistic parents grow up, they are likely to suffer from a range of psychological problems, such as low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.
10 Symptoms of Daughters of Narcissistic Parents – (1) Struggle to build deep relationships
Daughters of narcissistic parents often have difficulty forming deep, lasting relationships in their adult lives, a challenge rooted in a lack of emotional nourishment during their formative years.
The absence of a caring father figure can lead to feelings of worthlessness and insecurity, along with an intense fear of rejection.
This lack of validation and trust often instills the belief that they are inadequate and unworthy of love.
In an effort to gain acceptance, daughters of narcissistic parents will, as adults, constantly push themselves, striving for perfection in all aspects of life.
However, they still feel unappreciated and misunderstood in intimate relationships, creating a persistent feeling of inferiority.
Furthermore, trust issues are common among daughters of narcissistic parents, leading to difficulties in establishing meaningful relationships.
This barrier often prevents them from truly opening up to others, further perpetuating a toxic cycle of loneliness and isolation.
Sadly, this feeling of isolation persists even when they are around people who truly care about them, highlighting the emotional damage caused by their upbringing.
10 Symptoms that daughters of narcissistic fathers exhibit – (2) Extreme self-criticism and a tendency to negative self-talk
The psychological ramifications of being raised by a narcissistic father can greatly impact a daughter’s mental development and self-perception.
As these daughters move into adulthood, echoes of their father’s constant criticism and unattainable demands for perfection linger in their minds.
They often internalize these harmful messages from their childhood, which leads them to be overly critical of themselves.
This self-scrutiny stems from trying to meet unrealistic standards set by their narcissistic parent, which can severely distort their self-image.
This situation creates a harmful cycle of low self-esteem, feelings of shame, intrusive negative thoughts, and destructive self-talk.
10 Symptoms of daughters of narcissistic fathers – (3) Anxiety and depression
Daughters of narcissistic fathers often suffer from mental health problems such as anxiety and depression.
Their upbringing, marked by emotional neglect and manipulation, sets the stage for these psychological challenges in adulthood.
As they grow older, daughters of narcissistic fathers experience feelings such as persistent sadness, feelings of hopelessness, and emotional numbness, which are indicators of depression.
In addition, they often grow up to be anxious adults – the result of living in a constant state of alertness during their formative years.
The lack of emotional validation from their narcissistic fathers leads to a widespread sense of unworthiness in their daughters.
As a result, they often suffer from a lack of self-esteem and have difficulty trusting others, which can hinder them from forming meaningful relationships.
This chronic self-doubt can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and depression, creating a vicious cycle that is difficult to break out of.
10 symptoms that appear on daughters of narcissistic fathers – (4) Struggle with emotional expression
Growing up in an environment of emotional deprivation, and facing constant pressure to be perfect and fear of rejection, daughters of narcissistic parents learn to suppress their emotions in order to survive.
These women internalize the message that their feelings are invalid or unwanted, creating a barrier to openly expressing their feelings.
They may also develop a deep fear of showing any perceived weaknesses or vulnerabilities, due to fear of further criticism or rejection.
As adults, this emotional repression can make it difficult for them to communicate their needs and desires effectively.
They may often find themselves hiding their true feelings, driven by a deep-rooted fear of rejection or humiliation.
This behavior pattern can lead to difficulties in interpersonal relationships, causing them to feel debilitating isolation and loneliness.
Furthermore, they may have difficulty recognizing and understanding their feelings, a phenomenon known as alexithymia.
This emotional blindness can further complicate their ability to express what they feel, leading to increased frustration and emotional distress.
10 Symptoms of daughters of narcissistic fathers – (5) Low self-esteem
Growing up with a narcissistic father can have a profound effect on a daughter’s self-esteem.
The absence of validation and affection from such an important figure in their life often results in a shattered sense of self-esteem.
Daughters of narcissistic parents often struggle with feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness.
These feelings stem from a lack of positive reinforcement during their formative years, leaving them insecure about their inherent worth.
This insecurity often manifests as self-doubt in adulthood, causing them to question their decisions and doubt their abilities.
They may always seek the approval of others, reflecting their unmet need for validation from their narcissistic parent.
This constant pursuit of approval can erode their self-esteem, perpetuating a cycle of self-doubt and reduced self-worth.
Furthermore, the lack of parental affirmation can lead them to feel undeserving of love or affection.
They may find it difficult to accept compliments or positive attention, and may even sabotage potential relationships for fear of rejection or abandonment.
