Is your mother a narcissist? It is estimated that up to 1% of the population suffers from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). This means that one in every hundred mothers is a narcissist, with all the horror that this entails, especially for her children.

The term “narcissist” is thrown around a lot these days, but what does it actually mean?

In short, a narcissist is someone with an inflated sense of self and an insatiable need for attention and validation. They are also selfish, self-absorbed, and manipulative.

How do you know if your mother is a narcissist

It can be difficult to know if someone is a narcissist, especially when they are a member of your family. It’s even more difficult when that person is someone you love, like your mother.

Here are some signs that may help you recognize a narcissistic mother.

The narcissistic mother always wants to be the center of attention
Narcissists hate feeling invisible or unimportant, and will go to any lengths to get the attention they crave.

They will try to dominate conversations, always trying to outdo others and grab the spotlight.

They may even engage in embarrassing behavior just to keep all eyes on them.

Narcissists don’t just want attention, they need it.

The narcissistic mother has difficulty empathizing with others
One of the most prominent traits of narcissists is their inability—or unwillingness—to empathize with others.

If your mother regularly ignores your feelings or hurts your feelings without you realizing it, it may be a sign that she is a narcissist.

Narcissists are simply unable to put themselves in other people’s shoes and understand how their actions might affect those around them.

The narcissistic mother is always right

Narcissists are known to be stubborn and condescending because they truly believe they are always right – no matter what.

In her mind, she knows better than anyone else.

You will override your opinion and make decisions without considering your feelings or what is best for you.

The narcissistic mother does not care about anyone but herself.

If you find yourself constantly arguing with your mother or feeling like you can never win, this could definitely be a sign that she is a narcissist.

Narcissists hate being challenged or contradicted, so they will do everything in their power to shut down any dissenting opinions.

A narcissistic mother is never happy

No matter what you do, you’ll find something to complain about.

If you get an A in school, you will find fault with your behavior.

If you get a job, you’ll say you’re not working hard enough.

Nothing you do is good enough for the narcissistic mother.

The narcissistic mother is manipulative

She will use guilt trips, manipulation, and emotional blackmail to get her way.

For example, she may threaten to withhold love or approval if you don’t do what she wants.

Or she may use reverse psychology by telling you that you are too weak or stupid to make your own decisions.

The narcissistic mother is controlling

You will try to control every aspect of your life. It may tell you what to wear, who to spend time with, and what activities to do.

The narcissistic mother wants to control you so that she can feel powerful and in control of herself.

The narcissistic mother is jealous and envious

She is jealous of your achievements and your relationships with others.

A narcissistic mother cannot bear to be happy and successful without her help. She will do everything in her power to bring you down and take away your happiness.

The effect of the presence of a narcissistic mother

If you were raised by a narcissistic mother, you likely experienced emotional abuse, manipulation, or sabotage.

The impact of this type of ongoing abuse can be devastating.

Children of narcissistic mothers often grow up feeling incompetent, helpless, and worthless. They may have low self-esteem and suffer from anxiety and depression.

You may also have trouble maintaining healthy relationships due to your upbringing.

Here are some tips on how to deal with your narcissistic mother:
Understand that you have done nothing wrong
Many people who were raised by narcissistic parents blame themselves for the way they were treated.

It is important to understand that it was not your fault and that you did nothing wrong.

Narcissists often target kind, compassionate, and empathetic people because they know these people will put up with their bad behavior.

Setting boundaries

It is important to set boundaries with your narcissistic parent to protect yourself from further hurt and pain.

You don’t have to tolerate her bad behavior or put up with her manipulations. It’s okay to say “no” or “I don’t want to talk about it.”

By setting boundaries, you are taking control of the situation and telling her that her behavior is unacceptable.

Do not engage in arguments or power struggles

Narcissists like to argue and engage in power struggles because it gives them a feeling of control and superiority.

When you engage in these arguments, you are only giving her what she wants and feeding her need for attention.

It’s best to avoid arguing with her altogether or walk away from the situation if things start to escalate.

Remember, narcissists try to get people to lose their temper so they can then devalue or dismiss them as irrational, so don’t give her the satisfaction.

Seek professional help if necessary

If you find yourself struggling to cope with your narcissistic mother, or with the effects of the abuse you suffered as a child, it may be helpful to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor who can provide support and guidance.

Talking about your experiences with someone who is objective and unbiased can be very helpful and useful in dealing with your narcissistic mother.

Build a support network

Build a support network of close friends or family members who you can rely on when dealing with your narcissistic mother.

These people can provide an emotional outlet for you and can provide objective advice when needed.

It can be helpful to talk about your experiences with them so you don’t feel like you’re carrying the burden alone.

Conclusion

Dealing with a narcissistic mother can be difficult, but there are some strategies that can help make the situation easier to deal with.

Remember to set boundaries, avoid taking things personally, build a support network, and make time for yourself every day.