You may have fallen victim to the narcissist’s control and manipulation. You may have long recognized the toxicity in the relationship, but you were too emotionally attached to the person who abused you to leave the relationship. You can even break free from your narcissism now and wrestle your way through the healing process.

A narcissist can be anyone who has a tremendous influence on whether or not you believe in yourself and your abilities. Often this is a parent, intimate partner, sibling, or boss. You gradually lost yourself because you succumbed to his psychological conditioning. After a while, gaslighting instilled such confusion and anxiety in you that you disconnected your sense of reality. You become consumed with self-doubt and easily controlled.

Learn the warning signs of a narcissist before another strike

True narcissist has these traits built into their personality and in many cases can be clinically diagnosed with “narcissistic personality disorder”. To avoid slipping into a long-term pattern of “narcissistic victim syndrome,” it is important to understand how such a person’s mind works.

The narcissist’s most notable trait is his strange sense of self-importance. He doesn’t care about anyone’s wants or needs but himself. He grossly exaggerates or brags about his accomplishments and talents, and seeks recognition that he is superior to others. Exaggeration is a way to hide low self-esteem and emotional insecurity.
He often talks about his terrible childhood and seems absorbed in it. He is projecting his cognitive dissonance on you or others at the time in his life by appearing agitated and irascible. This is how he deals with feeling so conflicted.
He denies being responsible for having many failed relationships in his life. Nothing is ever his fault.
Likewise, as his victim, you tend to have opposite personality traits. You are very empathetic and you forgive your narcissist time and time again. You are more thoughtful and caring for others than you are for yourself. It’s generally in your nature to be overly helpful, so people easily take advantage of you. When it comes to your abusive partner, you ignore the red flags of their unacceptable behaviors. Even worse, you are compensating for his more deviant behaviors and must be careful not to let them lead you down a path of self-destructive behavior, such as drug use or self-mutilation.

Why are you filled with self-doubt after narcissistic abuse

The longer the target suffers from narcissistic abuse, the more it is programmed through psychological conditioning. Once you finally let go of your narcissistic personality, you continue to feel chronically detached from yourself and your life for some time. You may even find yourself missing the person who hurt you, and feel a lot of doubt because of it.

Self-doubt is very common among adults who were raised by narcissistic parents. If this has happened to you, you grew up hearing your parents tell you how pride is bad and how you will never amount to anything good. You may now feel unable to give yourself credit for your good qualities and accomplishments.

Restore self-confidence and reduce self-doubt after narcissistic abuse

Get involved in a counseling or recovery program. Many communities offer free counseling in a group setting and sometimes offer free one-on-one counseling for victims of domestic violence.
Say positive affirmations to yourself daily. Telling yourself that the smart, loving, beautiful, and capable person you are while looking in the mirror should eventually reprogram your thinking and help you feel good about yourself again.
Read self-help books about recovering from abuse and finding a heart that trusts your judgment.
Go with the flow of the healing process. Don’t rush yourself or be hard on yourself when you suspect sneaking.
Reassess your needs in a partner. Make a list of the must-haves and don’t settle for anything less. Ask yourself if he/she exhibits these traits.
Focus on listening to your inner voice and keep it positive. This is the time to incorporate positive affirmations.
It is very important to learn the warning signs of a narcissist. Knowledge is power, so enabling yourself to see the above warning signs can encourage you to overcome your fear of being a victim again.