Moment…
There we go.
Well sorry about that. I was taking a selfie to show everyone my new haircut. It’s fire!
I’m not a narcissist.
Psychologists agree that people are showing more narcissistic tendencies these days with the proliferation of social media. However, true narcissists, people who can be classified as suffering from narcissistic personality disorder, are not as common as you might think.
But they are there, and they may be harder to spot than most people realize.
One of the worst things that can happen to you is to become involved in a relationship with a true narcissist. They will be in the relationship not for love but to satisfy their constant demands for attention, admiration, and control.
Related : 12 red flags you’re in a relationship with a man-child
So, here are seven warning signs that you are dating a narcissist who will break your heart to help you get out of that relationship as quickly as possible!
1) They charmed your pants…at first.
If this is true for you, either literally, figuratively, or both, then you may have a narcissist on your hands.
But we’re not talking about an ordinary level of magic being applied here.
Everyone does their best when they’re trying to date or hook up. This is completely normal.
What is unnatural is the act of love bombing, which is exactly what it sounds like.
This is a tool that narcissists love to use because it is like a sticky trap. They shower you with praise, affection, attention, and gifts at the beginning of the relationship.
This makes you feel good, but it also connects you to them. In their mind, they’re not really looking for a partner anyway.
They want something closer to the worshiper.
And what better way to worship you than by making the other person think you’re awesome?!
But the thing is, this doesn’t last.
However, it will still be used to manipulate you in the future.
“We’re going through a rough patch, but we can go back to the way things were. ‘I know you remember how much I adore you,’ the narcissist might say. But things never go back to being about you.
2) It’s all about them.
Here are some basic characteristics of a narcissist:
They have a high sense of self-importance.
They require excessive admiration.
They feel superior to others.
They have a feeling of entitlement to special treatment or privileges.
Which of these ring a bell?
If you’ve been in a relationship with this person for a while and all they talk about is themselves and how great they are, this could be a big warning sign.
Sure, some people thrive when they have everything in place—career, money, family, relationship—and that can be exciting. But those winning streaks also end.
The narcissist is different in two important ways.
First, they always think they win or at least deserve to.
Second, their amazing successes and amazing performances are usually not supported by real evidence. They are more than just a narcissistic fantasy.
Related : 13 subtle ways covert narcissists gain control in a relationship
This type of person is unlikely to ever change. It will always be about them and not you, and that will break your heart in the end.
3) They like to brag and show off.
Narcissists want the world to see them as special, talented, and important.
What better way to do this than to talk about all your activities and successes to make yourself look great?
So you may find that the person you’re dating has a really posh demeanor. They will love to strut, show off and show what they’ve got.
Additionally, they will talk a lot about what they have almost accomplished or are about to accomplish, making it seem as if everything is in the bag.
They will also talk about people they know and relationships that they only half believe they have. They will exaggerate everything if it is to their advantage.
See, one time I was standing on a street corner when a car rolled up and out of Denzel Washington, who was walking next to me. But you don’t see me dropping my name, do you?
Ha!
However, in the hands of a true narcissist, this story of mine would turn into “I met Denzel Washington once” or even “Yes, Denzel and I are in a relationship!”
If you date long enough, you’ll start to see what’s real and what’s exaggerated. And if you brag and brag all the time, it’s probably time to say goodbye.
4) They are always at the forefront.
We all really only know what we know.
We go through life through our own perspective, and we see everything through our own lens.
So it’s no surprise that, more often than not, we think of ourselves as the main characters in our stories, and our lives.
But we also realize that when we tell stories about other people, they don’t have to have anything to do with us.
Not narcissists.
They are always the leaders in every story, in every situation. Secondary roles are not good enough for them.
They play the main characters, often the hero who saves the day and deserves a lot of admiration or the victim who has been horribly wronged and needs a lot of sympathy.
Any story that doesn’t put them in a leadership role doesn’t interest them, so you’ll never hear about it from their mouths. If you try to talk about other people, they won’t have any interest in listening.
This is a big warning sign that you are in bed with a narcissist.
5) They have a lot of friends…don’t they?
If the person you are dating is truly a narcissist, he or she will not hesitate to tell you everything about all the people they know and the friends they have, especially the ones in really high positions.
Related : 7 warning signs you’re dealing with a manipulator or narcissist
It seems like everyone around you is in their pockets or owes them a favor all the time.
They will also surround themselves with people, but only of a certain type. They will want to be seen socializing with rich, famous, or powerful people. Otherwise, they will gather a group of successful and good-looking people around them.
But certainly not more than themselves!
They want to have a group of fans and trolls around them to improve their image.
But when the time of trouble comes, or when the proverb strikes, you will see how their so-called friends scatter like rice at a wedding.
Maybe you’ll realize that the person you’re with doesn’t have any real friends.
Or they’ve chosen a few who are still fascinated and, like you, haven’t quite figured out who that person really is.
But look for old friends and old friends from long ago, and I bet you won’t be able to find many of them.
Most narcissists leave a trail of destruction behind them.
6) They cannot be trusted.
A person does not have to be a narcissist for this to be a warning sign.
If you are dating someone and they break your trust multiple times, don’t even stop to think about it. They will do it again, and the deeper you dig into your feelings, the more you risk having your heart broken.
Narcissists tend to break your trust for a specific reason: they don’t actually care about you.
Yes I said that.
