Sometimes when someone is self-absorbed or selfish, we tend to stick around the word “narcissist” or “narcissist.”
But the truth is, oftentimes, what people don’t know or forget is that narcissism is a real mental health diagnosis.
In short, these are people who have an exaggerated sense of their own importance, who often need the admiration and praise of others.
Another notable characteristic of such a person is his (or her) lack of empathy – which can make it difficult to have a satisfying relationship with this person.
If you suspect your partner is a narcissist, you’ve come to the right place.
In this article, we’ll talk about what narcissistic personality disorder is, what it looks like from a clinical point of view, and seven early signs of a narcissistic partner.
We acknowledge that living with a narcissist can negatively affect your mental health. So in addition to the above, we are going to give you tips on things to do if your partner is already showing these signs.
What is narcissistic personality disorder?
As I mentioned briefly earlier, narcissistic personality disorder, or narcissism, is defined by an inflated sense of one’s own importance. People with this condition constantly need and seek attention.
However, experts in the field believe that this is just a cover for a fragile sense of self-worth.
Without the admiration and attention they crave, narcissists may become unhappy.
It is interesting to note that this occurs more often in men than women and the earliest signs of a narcissistic partner may appear in a person’s teenage years or early adulthood.
What characteristics make up a true narcissist?
In order to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, there are certain criteria that must be met, which psychologists have included in the fifth and final edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).
One is a high sense of self – for example, when someone brags a lot about their talents and achievements, or in some cases, expects to be treated or seen as superior even without earning them.
They also fantasize about unlimited success or strength, beauty, and perfect love. Narcissists truly believe that they are special and unique and that only people who are similar to them can understand them.
Because they think they are special, they need excessive admiration. They also feel entitled to preferential services and treatment and expect others to do what they want or to approve of the things they do.
They are exploitative and lack empathy, which includes acknowledging other people’s feelings and needs and putting themselves in someone else’s shoes.
Narcissists are often jealous of others or otherwise believe that others are jealous of them.
This type of person may also act arrogant or arrogant.
important note
Before we get into the signs of a narcissistic partner, you need to keep in mind that these traits can occur in someone who does not have NPD.
Some examples of these include high achievers, people diagnosed with bipolar disorder, histrionic personality disorder, and other such conditions.
Only a licensed psychiatrist or psychologist can determine whether or not someone has NPD.
What are the early signs of a narcissistic partner?
While the traits of a narcissist are obvious enough, they may not be easy to spot especially early on in a relationship.
If your partner shows these signs, you may be in a relationship with a narcissist.
1) They were very charming early on in the relationship
As mentioned earlier, people with NPD are drawn to grandiosity and fantasy about many things — including love.
They might shower you with compliments and tell you things like how perfect you are for each other, even if you’ve only been on a few dates. He can also give you extravagant gifts, and be very public outdoors and on social media.
You might recognize this as “love bombing,” where someone “bombs” you with displays of interest and affection.
It can be fun at first, but the thing is, this can quickly become something serious. Experts say this could be a manipulation tactic.
In fact, a 2017 study found that love bombing is positively associated with narcissistic tendencies. It is also associated with an insecure attachment style, which manifests as a lack of trust or value in oneself or in others).
When you start to feel uncomfortable in their company, feel like they need to be reassured all the time, or make you feel like their problems are your fault, this could be a sign of a narcissistic partner.
2) They always talk about themselves
When you share news or stories about yourself, does your partner share or do you somehow find yourself listening to them talk about themselves instead?
Narcissists tend to direct the conversation towards themselves.
Typically, they try to make their accomplishments and talents seem more impressive than they really are, says clinical psychologist Angela Grace, PhD, MA, BFA, MD.
Meanwhile, according to psychotherapist Jacqueline Kroll: “Narcissists like to talk incessantly about their accomplishments and accomplishments with wit. They do this because they feel better and smarter than everyone else, and also because it helps them create an appearance of self-confidence.”
3) They ignore your feelings
A sign of a narcissistic partner is that they lack empathy, or the ability to sense other people’s feelings and to reflect or acknowledge those feelings.
According to the same study mentioned earlier, narcissists do not know how to apologize and how to understand other people’s feelings and perspectives.
The ability to empathize is a key aspect of a healthy and successful relationship, which is why relationships with narcissists often fail.
4) They seek compliments and attention
I mentioned earlier that experts believe that a person with NPD actually has a fragile sense of self-worth.
“They need a lot of praise, and if you don’t give them, they’ll hunt for it,” says Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and founder of Kaleidoscope Counselling (Charlotte, North Carolina) Nedra Glover-Twab.
According to Shereen Pekar, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), a narcissist uses others to give them their own sense of self-worth. Because they already have low self-esteem to begin with, they need more compliments. She adds that people with NPD depend on others to make them feel important and by tearing others down.
If you relate to this, this could be one of the signs of a narcissistic partner.
5) They start criticizing you
While some people are natural pesters, people with NPD make comments about you that are actually more hurtful than constructive or playful.
According to Picard, narcissists do this to lower others’ self-esteem and make them feel better about themselves. And when you interact, it just shows them that what they’re doing is paying off.
If your partner makes you feel bad about something you were previously proud of or doesn’t think through the issue, it may be a sign of a narcissistic partner.
6) They have few (if any) long-term friends
Narcissists have trouble maintaining relationships with others, which ends up not having many friends.
Because narcissists are so sensitive and insecure, they may feel left out when you want to spend time with other people.
He may make you feel guilty for spending time with your friends instead of with them, or criticize the type of friends you have.
7) They put the spotlight on you
One of the signs of a narcissistic partner is gassing.
If you are not familiar with this concept, it is when one lies, wrongly accuses others, and distorts the truth and your own reality.
As a result, you may question your own beliefs and reality, and chip away at your self-esteem and confidence.
Ask yourself the following questions:
Do you feel different from the person you used to be?
Do you tell yourself that you are hypersensitive?
Do you feel like you’re always making mistakes?
Do you blame yourself and apologize a lot?
Do you make excuses for your partner’s actions?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, you may have become gaslighted.
Narcissists do this to assert their superiority, and gaslighting is one of their methods, Picard says.
What are you doing now?
Narcissists can negatively affect your mental health, leaving you emotionally drained.
Now that you know the signs of a narcissistic partner, it would be wise to rethink the relationship.
It is crucial to have a support system to help you through this, no matter which way your decision goes.
