Are you trying to heal a toxic trauma bond you developed after being in a narcissistic relationship for too long?

A relationship with a narcissist can be very frustrating, but that doesn’t make breaking up with such relationships any easier. The kind of burnout and self-doubt you feel while in a relationship can persist.

These people really know how to do a number on us!

This is especially true, because such relationships create a painful bond that increases your attachment to your partner, even though you know that he or she treats you poorly.

Related: 10 Personality Traits Of People Who Can’t Show Compassion

Although it may be difficult, it is possible to break the trauma bond.

Here are 4 ways you can heal your trauma bond after a narcissistic relationship.

1. Separation

The first step in healing trauma bonds is to disconnect (as in no contact) from the narcissist and identify your true friends. Narcissists will always try to make you feel and think as if your perceptions are not real.

Gaslighting is not uncommon for these people and they will reinforce the gaslighting with their flying monkeys. They know that interfering with your reality will connect you to them and give them more control.

Trust your intuition and take control of your reality instead of believing everything the narcissist tells you.

Make a list of all the mistakes your ex made so that it is easier for you to remember all the abuse. This will allow you to emotionally separate from them and move forward in your healing process.

2. End self-blame

It is normal and common for trauma victims to blame themselves for being in such a situation, but this makes it difficult for you to heal.

Don’t blame yourself for leaving or for being in the situation in the first place. Likewise, do not demand or expect answers from the narcissist.

Accept that they will never apologize, and as hard as it may be, try to accept that fact. They will use this opportunity to manipulate you with lies.

Related: Why Leaving A Narcissist Is So Hard — And How To Get Away In 7 Steps

3. Control

Getting better control of your thoughts can also help you prevent a traumatized connection with a narcissist.

Try to think in the present moment, rather than dwelling on your perceptions too much. With this, you can maintain a neutral point, which will allow you to indulge in more enjoyable activities.

4. Healing

Another good option on how to break a trauma bond is to rely on your family. Don’t isolate yourself, even though this may be your first reaction to all the trauma the narcissist has caused you.

Connect with yourself and all the people who truly care about you, such as your parents, siblings, or even your children if you have them. Develop new hobbies and connect yourself with people who truly support your healing process.

Healing from trauma is not easy and may take longer, but it will happen eventually if you dedicate yourself to healing properly.