A narcissist is usually very charming and highly intelligent, which makes it difficult to detect narcissistic mind games.
Narcissists promise you the sun, moon, and stars. They know how to push your buttons in such a way that they “trap you into” their world so that you do what they want.
The moment you stop doing what they want, they get angry. When you choose to leave the relationship, they throw you away and then continue to tell everyone they victimized you.
Never make the mistake of thinking that you can change a narcissist or help them stop playing the narcissistic mind games unless you are a trained therapist and they have sought you out directly for the purpose of helping them with this mental disorder.
Make no mistake – this is a personality and mental disorder, and if necessary, they can get help from a mental health care professional, but only if they want help.
Related: How To Know If The Person You’re Dating Is A ‘Healthy’ Vs ‘Unhealthy’ Narcissist
What narcissistic mind games do narcissistic men play in relationships?
Game #1: Inflate their sense of self-importance.
Here’s the scenario: A woman asks a man if he’d like to take a much-needed vacation with her. The man replies: Do you have any idea what would happen if I quit my job at this time?
Narcissists believe the whole world would fall apart without them…or at least they want you to believe that.
Generally, when they talk, there will be a lot of name-dropping, bragging about what they are going to buy next, or where they went, what they did, with whom, and how much money they spent. They rarely ask questions about you or your life?
The entire conversation is usually one-sided and revolves around them and their accomplishments. They tend to come across as arrogant and arrogant. If the waiter doesn’t seat them right away, they’ll get impatient and might get quite angry – even if the place is very crowded!
The narcissist may think: “Don’t they realize who I am!”
Game #2: Having no empathy.
Here’s the scenario: A woman tells a man about a college friend who is having a difficult time with a cancer diagnosis. The man replies, “Well, that serves him right. He smoked for 10 years before he quit. What did he expect?”
Here, we don’t have any empathy, but what makes it worse is belittling the person when they’re really down. This is a huge warning sign that you are with a narcissist.
Putting others down makes the narcissist feel better about himself. However, deep down, they have a feeling of inferiority, even though they act superior to everyone around them.
Game #3: Be critical to hide their low self-esteem.
Here’s the scenario: A woman (who is a personal trainer) lovingly suggests a more effective way to do ab exercises, because she knows that the man wants a toned body and she knows that he does ab exercises in a way that does not give him the results he wants.
The man replies, “What are you talking about? I’m doing it perfectly, and besides, I don’t need to do it at all. I look great for a man my age. Look at you, you might lose some money.” Weigh yourself!”
Once again, here we have a person who, instead of responding in a way that shows concern and/or shows gratitude for the help, the narcissist responds in a critical, hurtful, and insulting way. This is classic narcissistic behavior.
Related: 17 Disturbing Reasons Why Narcissists Prey On Anxious People
It can be difficult to recognize these harmful mind games, but here are 14 signs that a narcissist is playing mind games with you.
- You went into a conversation thinking you were right, and left feeling you were wrong.
Gaslighting is one of the most manipulative things a narcissist will use against you to make you feel like any issue you raise with him is ultimately your fault. - He completely ignores any issue you bring up.
If you try to have a civil conversation about a problem in your relationship with a narcissist, good luck. He will talk to you and manipulate you so much that you may not notice that he is changing the conversation until later when you realize that the issue was never discussed. - Your story and his story are never the same.
If two of you fight about something, nine times out of ten he won’t be on your side, because it’s the same completely different story in his head. - He is always the victim.
He always plays the victim when you get into an argument because he wants you to feel bad for him when it’s the other way around. You’re always labeled as a jerk. - You get déjà vu when he’s with you.
You constantly get deja vu when you talk to him because narcissists have a pattern in the way they play their games. Over time, you’ll feel like you’re going crazy for going through this with him over and over again.
This is especially true if you text him something because he’s also good at narcissistic text games, and you’ll be thinking, “Didn’t he already say that?”
- You start thinking that he is right and that you are the one who is overthinking.
Narcissists are very good at doing this to you. They make you start doubting yourself and make you think you are crazy because you think everything they did was wrong, so how could they be wrong? - He gets angry very easily.
Whenever you try to confront or have a civil conversation about something that you believe the narcissist did wrong, he or she will get defensive. His temper and anger will rise because you made him notice his mistakes, and as always, he will deny everything you put forward and attack you. - He calls you names.
Narcissists are not above anything and are so immature that you bet they will call you names. Their favorite word is crazy, followed by stupid, crazy, or any other word to silence you. - He tries to attract others to his side.
He will call up friends and then gaslight the friends to be on his side to make you look like you have no idea what you’re talking about and that you’re not telling the truth or not being fair. While we all know he’s a master of manipulation, even with his friends.
- You’re the one who ends up saying sorry.
No matter how angry and upset you are about something, you are always the one to say sorry and it becomes a pattern. - You feel like you are not enough.
If your partner is a narcissist, they will always make you feel like you are not enough and worthless. This should be a clear and easy signal for you that your partner should never make you feel bad about yourself. - You feel lonely.
Even if you are in a relationship, you will feel completely alone if your partner is a narcissist. It will be all about them and you will waste a lot of your energy on them and feel completely isolated and empty. - You feel guilty because you think badly of him.
You feel terrible even thinking that he did something wrong. This is because it has become a pattern for him to make you feel bad by mentioning things that make you upset with him. So, over time, you will do it less because it makes you feel bad. - You immediately regret bringing up a problem.
Many times you have been nervous, your courage to bring up an issue has diminished, and it takes all your energy to do so. When you do this, you will immediately regret it because you feel exhausted, and over time, you will learn from it not to cause any problems anymore.
