Narcissism is one of the most sinister personality disorders because narcissists thrive on controlling others. Worse still, they almost always prey on people with anxiety.
Find out why people with anxiety often become victims of narcissistic abuse:
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- A narcissist will make you feel crazy, while a person with anxiety doesn’t actually trust themselves.
The narcissist is never to blame, and it will always be the person suffering from the anxiety who apologizes. When the victim takes responsibility for the unkind actions of a narcissist, it feeds his ego and the extent of control he has. A person with anxiety tends to apologize for things he doesn’t need to. A person suffering from anxiety is the easiest prey for a narcissist. - A narcissist does not want to change while an anxious person is constantly trying to improve.
The narcissist is never wrong. Not only do they think they are unable to change but they don’t want to change. They want everyone around them to change so that they can benefit from them.
So when someone with anxiety tries to get better and better, the narcissist will see that and try to talk them back into self-doubt and lack of confidence. Because if someone with anxiety can overcome themselves, they will be able to overcome the narcissist, and then they lose their power.
- A narcissist will pick any fight, and a person with anxiety always expects a fight.
You never know when a narcissist is going to lose his shit. A person with anxiety expects very bad fights that will lead to insults and the person leaving. The narcissist will leave which raises abandonment issues when you are anxious. She suddenly starts clinging to people and is afraid of fights that lead to endings. - The narcissist uses fear to control the situation, while the anxious person is always afraid.
A person suffering from anxiety is constantly walking on eggshells because he never knows what he will get into and whether he will have to go into defense mode. A person suffering from anxiety is always nervous. The phone rings. They have to answer. If they don’t, they will be contacted 12 more times.
Then they will be threatened. Then they will get something. The narcissist will use threats when someone does not act accordingly. So a person suffering from anxiety is always on edge with every little thing.
- The narcissist uses a manipulation tactic and turns the anxious person down.
The narcissist wants you to do something and makes you do it. It’s not even about the task they’re asking, it’s that they asked you for it. Instead of fighting, the person with anxiety does what they are told, and the narcissist sees it as a win because it’s all about keeping score with them. - You point out a narcissistic flaw and they tell you that you are too sensitive.
The narcissist has no flaws. Everyone else is doing it.
Related: The Top 11 Signs Of A Cheating Narcissist — And How To Catch Them In The Act
- The narcissist denies things that happened while the anxious person holds on to the pain.
They think back on something in the past that may have been traumatic, and they easily forget the moments when they didn’t look good. When someone with anxiety looks back on the past, it is often accurate because it hurt them so much. But instead of healing and moving on, they hear something like, “This never happened.” - The narcissist will break you up while the person with anxiety is already breaking up with themselves and being an easy victim.
The narcissist will stir up insecurity within their victim to the point where they no longer have to be the ones to destroy them. They impose these unrealistic, unattainable standards on you that no one can reach.
Someone with anxiety tries so hard to be good enough and then disconnects and people wonder why they don’t have more confidence. When someone tears you down every chance they get and makes you feel terrible about who you are because it doesn’t match their standard good fortune to stay even a little away from yourself.
- You blame a narcissist for something and they bring it back to you.
At that time they beat you. At that time they said something terrible. That time they lost control of you for no reason other than their inability to control their emotions, and it was your fault for making them act that way.
They blame you for anything that might go wrong in their life, and will never hold themselves accountable.
- The narcissist resorts to insults while the anxious person analyzes whether what he said is true.
When they have nothing else to use, harsh words hurt deeply, but their sour tongue doesn’t stop until they see that they have completely broken you.
A person with an anxiety disorder is not going to sit there and say, “I didn’t deserve this.” Rather, he will say, “What did I do that would make them attack me?”
- A narcissistic person spoils holidays or celebrations in search of any reason to be unhappy, while an anxious person seeks to please someone who will never be happy.
Have you ever noticed that on most days when everyone is happy, that person somehow screws their attention back to themselves? They want everyone to focus on them and will do anything to steal the spotlight. Whereas a person with an anxiety disorder is a peacemaker and will do everything in his power to calm the situation even if it means compromising his self-esteem.
When you are anxious and affected by a narcissist, your needs become second to theirs.
- A narcissist keeps you hooked while a person with anxiety fears abandonment.
The narcissist needs to feel needed. They should feel that you won’t be able to function without them. So they break you down and they are the ones who build you back up again. They try to make you believe that they are the only ones who can love someone like you.
An anxious person clings to a series of these dependent relationships and tries hard to gain his love and affection. The narcissist teaches you that love is not unconditional but comes and goes when they choose to, and the person with anxiety ends up having a lot of abandonment issues because of this.
- A narcissist causes drama and spreads false rumors, while an anxious person breaks down when someone talks about them or thinks someone doesn’t like them.
Even if it’s not true, instead of checking the facts, the narcissist will go after you for it. Instead of listening to your side, if you make them look bad or tarnish their reputation, beware.
Narcissists view every relationship as a reflection of themselves. So, if you’re not living up to their standards and people are talking about you, they won’t think twice, they’ll just believe it because they thrive on negativity and drama.
And when you feel anxious and someone says something untrue and mean, you’re not standing up for yourself, you’re just dealing with the pain someone else caused when you know you don’t deserve it.
- The narcissist will detrimentally put you down but manipulate you in such a way that you don’t even realize he did it or turned you on. While a person suffering from anxiety doubts himself more.
It’s a silly comment that will ruin your day. Something was said about the way you look. And when you say to a narcissist, “I don’t like that you said that” or “I would appreciate it if you didn’t say those things in the future,” instead of empathizing with you, he realizes that he has to do that. You and they consider it a win for themselves. They respond to anything you might say with, “Well, that’s true, isn’t it?”
Then someone suffering from anxiety begins to believe it.
When a narcissist feels insecure, he hides it by making others feel worse than they do.
- A narcissistic person will continue to test you and push boundaries while an anxious person will allow you to.
As long as you let them get away with it, they will keep pushing you closer and closer to the edge. The thing about people with anxiety is that they have a lot more tolerance and more flexibility when it comes to everything.
- The narcissist uses emotional abuse to silence you while the anxious person silences themselves.
Narcissistic abuse messes with your head so much, that there’s no concrete evidence that someone can look at and say, “I did this, and here’s the evidence.”
When there is physical abuse, there are marks and bruises, and you know that is not right.
When it comes to emotional abuse, it’s all about interrupting. Although the narcissist’s motive may be to verbally take you down, days will pass and he will forget what happened and say something like, “I was being too sensitive.” once again. Back to denial of fact versus fiction.
The narcissist wins when his victim stays silent about the abuse. The person suffering from anxiety silences himself in all situations because there is blame that falls on him and he should not bear it, but he does.
- It’s all about control, and this is where the narcissist and the person with anxiety have the greatest conflict.
The biggest problem a narcissist has against someone with anxiety is the battle for control. A person with anxiety wants to control everything because anxiety is something they cannot control. The narcissist wants to control the individual because his or her sense of worth and worth is how he influences others and his ability to control them. But a person suffering from anxiety does not want to be controlled.
