In previous posts in The Minds Journal, we discussed relationships with narcissists, but this post deals specifically with the toxic relationship between empathy and narcissism.
When it comes to the relationship between empathy and narcissism, they are more common than you think. Unfortunately.
When it comes to narcissists, they are known to be expert manipulators. They have a knack for planning everything and setting the perfect trap for their victims. The narcissist carefully plans each stage to perfect the rhythm and build a “perfect” relationship.
So, if narcissists are so bad, how does the attraction between empathy and narcissism occur? Why are empaths and narcissists attracted to each other? More importantly, can a sympathetic and a narcissist marry happily?
22 Stages of the Relationship Between Empathy and Narcissist
- An empath is attracted to a narcissist.
The toxic relationship between an empath and a narcissist begins. Empath loves deeply and unconditionally. They feel emotionally satisfied even though the narcissist does not play a role in developing a stronger bond. An empath is satisfied and believes that their love is only reciprocated by being around the narcissist.
- Empath gets the wrong idea that they have finally met the kind of love that people never once found.
The narcissist asserts this by creating an illusion that leads the empath to believe that what they have is special. An empath feels a deep connection which it is almost impossible to break. This is how the toxic relationship between empathy and the narcissist kicks in.
- Sometimes it seems that the narcissist wants this relationship as much as he wants empathy.
What they want is someone to invest their time, energy, and love and be under their complete control.
- Gradually, the empathic narcissist will make him feel weak and mistrustful of his ability to do even simple things.
A narcissist will never launch an open attack, but use phrases like “She doesn’t want to hurt you but…” to point out some shortcomings. They will try to seize anything that symbolizes control such as handling bills or making decisions about purchases. Empathy will be seen for their interests and the many things that make up their identity.
Gradually, empaths begin to believe that they are less capable and that they “need” someone like the person in their life. They understand that no one wants them.
- For empathy, this relationship will be everything because they are the ones who are in love.
When it comes to the relationship between empath and narcissist, empathy will always be under an illusion. Out of love, they always want to calm the narcissist, talk to them, help them, and do whatever makes them feel good.
In this fifth stage of the toxic relationship between empathy and narcissism, narcissists present themselves as a victim of their past, relationships, and circumstances. Sympathizers are givers. They try to make up for all the unfortunate things that have happened to the narcissist.
- The empath has a pure heart and cannot imagine that the unresolved wounds of a narcissist are not the same as theirs.
The healing of those wounds is different from her own. They will always do their best to make things healthy and happy for the narcissist, and the narcissist will allow them to.
Because that’s exactly why they chose empathy. They have no intention of change, all they care about is the narcissistic supply they get from empathy.
- The relationship is all about the narcissist.
In the toxic relationship between an empath and a narcissist, an empath slowly realizes that, and there comes a time when they feel afraid to speak up or fight for their needs and desires.
In their attempt to please, they do not want to express their true needs. They would rather be loved than give any reason to be unloved. But they are, secretly, not very happy.
- The more dedication, love, and effort the empath puts into a relationship, the more the narcissist will feel in control.
In the toxic relationship between empathy and the narcissist, the empath dances to the narcissist’s tune. As long as empathy continues to appease the narcissist, it is impossible to detect any problem in the relationship. The problem occurs when the empath finally reaches the breaking point.
- When empath raises their voice because they can no longer keep up with the oppressive ways of the narcissist.
Day in and day out their emotional needs remain unmet. This happens because from the beginning of the relationship they believed that the emotional needs of their partner were all that mattered. When they finally understand that their well-being is also important, and they talk, they seem selfish. The narcissist doesn’t like it.
- The narcissist is a seeker of attention.
They feel good when they bother the people around them. Their needs can never be satisfied, and they can never be satisfied. They may move to other partners, open a new business, travel the world, engage in new creative activities, etc., but they will never be happy. An empath is not aware of this fact.
- Empaths explode and tell the narcissist that their feelings matter, too.
When empathy finally explodes and says something like, “My feelings matter too,” the narcissist is quick to describe empathy as “crazy.”
They describe them as over-dramatic and their fears unfounded. This kind of dismissive behavior is the tactic they use to control their empath’s mind.
- THE EMPATH WERE CONFUSED.
The reason for their behavior is beyond their understanding. They start blaming themselves and wonder if they ever deserve to be loved by anyone at all.
- Empaths are unable to understand that they are only being manipulated.
When it comes to the toxic relationship between an empath and a narcissist, the latter has bent everything around them to create a twisted view of circumstances. There can be just about anything around them to let them know the fact that they are the ‘right’ person and their partner is the massive and evil ‘wrong’.
Related Topics: 5 Ways to Stay Sane Among Toxic People
- Empath will try to communicate with the narcissist in all honesty.
However, the narcissist justifies and blames his behavior. Because that’s how narcissists work. They are incapable of remorse, and will always look to blame others. And in this case, unfortunately, it is sympathy.
- It is normal to feel lost, confused, and in pain.
But despite all the heartbreak, Empaths will need to calm down and do some self-assessment to see how defenseless they have become. This is how they will begin to transform.
- Empaths will know that they are healers by nature.
They have the inner strength to help others in the right ways, sometimes as a duty and sometimes when life leads them to such situations.
- The empath must realize the bitter truth that not everyone deserves love, care, and affection.
Not everyone who looks sad reveals their true self. Some people have sinister motives and have completely different views of relationships and people than they do. Not everyone who falls in love with him so quickly can be trusted.
- Empaths must realize that they are also in a very bad situation, similar to what narcissists always talk about.
But in their case, it would be different. They will make positive efforts and heal themselves. The narcissist does not. Empaths are strong people, and they can always work on themselves to improve their lives.
- For sympathy, this will be a painful awakening.
They will learn from the experience to move forward, even though the healing process will be difficult for them. They will benefit from their resilience and come out of this stronger and happier.
- The narcissist will continue as if nothing had happened and they are completely innocent.
They won’t remember for a moment that someone loved them so deeply and deeply. They will not remember the strong bond they once had with someone and move on to find it elsewhere.
There will come a time when they will know that they cannot communicate with themselves or with others.
- The narcissist will act.
In time, they will find another victim.
- Sympathy will be stronger, wiser, and more careful about those they love.
Although the toxic attraction between an empath and a narcissist can be incredibly distressing and painful, empathy can be seen as a lesson. They will now know what they do not want, what is acceptable, and what is not. This will help them be in happier and normal relationships.
Empaths are very strong individuals, and narcissists are equally weak. Although recovery from narcissistic abuse is a lengthy process, it can turn a sympathetic person’s life for the better and help them live a better life.