Do you see a married man?
It can be an exciting, intense, and sometimes anxiety-provoking experience.
One moment you think he loves you, and the next you feel like he couldn’t care less about you.
Here are the top signs that you will never be more than a convert to a married man.
Beware of these annoying signs.
14 A blatant sign that a married man is taking advantage of you
1) It doesn’t open for you at all
One of the worst glaring signs a married man is using you is that he remains a closed book.
Even if you’ve been seeing each other for months, he’s emotionally out of your reach.
He may make an offhand comment now and then about his life.
Or tell you some basic biographical details.
Related : 10 surprising reasons why people lie in relationships
But he is somewhat off-limits to you regarding his thoughts, feelings, and deeper private life.
He just showed up looking to have a fun, intimate time with you and then walked out shortly after.
Even the times you spend together last longer, you may find yourself thinking and realizing that only you have opened up.
This kind of unilateral arrangement is not enough to satisfy anyone.
2) He only calls when he wants to have sex
The most alarming glaring sign that a married man is taking advantage of you is when he only invites you to have sex.
He’s sweet as pie when he gets what he wants.
But if you are not in the mood or you are busy when he is having fun, the magic will suddenly stop.
Feels cold on you.
He may not return calls for days, or give you a faint smile the next time you see him.
These types of small, toxic games are enough to drive anyone crazy and make you want to disconnect completely.
The problem is that if you have developed some feelings for him, you may find that much easier said than done.
Having sex with someone you care about and respect can be a great experience, but it’s a much different story when you see that it’s purely transactional and physical for them.
3) He has no plans to leave his wife for you
Asking or expecting a married man to leave his wife for you usually ends in bitter disappointment.
It’s very rare.
But this does not mean that a man cannot be tempted.
When he truly falls in love with you and values your company, he will have a hard time turning you down for something more serious.
That’s why one of the glaring signs a married man is using you is that he doesn’t even pretend to think about changing his life for you.
Every moment with him it’s crystal clear that this is just manipulation.
There is not even a hint of the temptation to turn his life upside down.
He got you into the right category.
You are a side part, and he would never think about making big changes to be with you.
It’s not comforting to know that, is it?
4) He uses you as an emotional vessel
In addition to using you as a physical vessel, a married man who only takes advantage of you will empty you emotionally.
This can include constant complaining and venting…
He crawls up to you when he’s down and expects to be groomed and petted like a little seal pup…
Other than asking you to provide comfort, advice, and encouragement to him as he goes through life’s ups and downs.
This is codependent and clingy behavior on his part if he never returns the favor.
Related : 12 signs your partner looks down on you (and what to do about it)
If it’s mutual and you find the connection to be meaningful, that’s fair enough, but keep in mind that if it’s very one-sided, it’s usually intentional on his part.
He wants you there for him when he’s down, but when you’re down, he’s a million miles away.
5) It leads you to have sex and intimacy
There is a twist on the previous points where a married man is only there for sex and emotional comfort, but it hints at something more and leads you forward.
He can tell you’re more clingy than he is, so he’s feeding these cruel hopes as a way to get an endless amount of intimacy from you.
This is very ironic, and we hope you don’t go through it.
But keep in mind that some cheaters are very mysterious people, and can engage in some emotionally manipulative behaviors.
I’m not saying this applies to all married men who cheat, but it is certainly a behavior that some of them engage in.
They take advantage of your hope for something more and drop hints that they “maybe” want it one day too…
But all they’re doing is hitting the snooze button.
Emotional manipulation is a common trait in narcissistic people, and if you are dealing with a married man who does things like this, it is best to get away from him as soon as possible.
6) He ignores what you say to him
One of the big and glaring signs that a married man is taking advantage of you is that he ignores what you say.
He doesn’t remember, rarely makes eye contact, and usually shrugs, hums, or says things like “yeah, sure” and “sure” to everything you say.
If he behaves this way, he is not giving figs.
You can tell yourself that this is just his kind of strong and lean personality.
But in the vast majority of cases, it’s the guy who doesn’t care about you and is just using you as a form of fun.
If he doesn’t care or pay attention to what you say, don’t make excuses for him.
Maybe it’s been a busy day, maybe he’s stressed, or maybe he’s had one too many drinks.
But if he wanted to listen, he would.
Harsh but true.
7) He often cancels your meetings at the last minute
Another glaring sign a married man is using you is when he keeps canceling you at the last minute.
He puts his wife and family before you, which is understandable.
But he also puts his work before you…
Friend’s birthday…
Exclusive sales at a store he loves, and only one for today…
And anything else needs doing right now, from an oil change to a haircut.
You come last, and you’re an afterthought.
He doesn’t even try to hide it, although he may try to exaggerate the importance of what he is projecting onto you.
Don’t accept these kind of excuses.
If he’s keeping you as a backup plan and canceling on you all the time, you have the right to step back and tell him that’s not the way you allow yourself to be treated.
8) He hides a secret from you, even from his friends
If you are seeing a married man, it makes sense that he would want to keep it a secret.
If he doesn’t tell his wife and you are having an illicit affair, he has every reason to make sure your time together remains peaceful.
However, one glaring sign that a married man is taking advantage of you is that he is completely obsessed with keeping your secret.
He won’t even introduce you if his best friend is video calling while he’s with you, or he’ll deny knowing you if you share mutual friends.
If you work together, he may deliberately act like he doesn’t like you or has no idea who you are.
He may also avoid going out with you in public, eating in public, and going anywhere where someone he knows is a married man might see you.
He may also spray tan, use makeup where his ring was, or do other strange things to hide that he is married in case the hotel receptionist notices.
In short: He tries so hard to hide any contact with you that he feels ashamed.
Perhaps he is ashamed: of cheating, of you, of being caught.
But this is a difficult thing to live with, and being the target of this kind of shame can lead to a lot of problems.
9) He asks you for big favors often
This item can be true in multiple cases. This is especially true when you’re talking about a married man you’re seeing.
The reason is that as a married man, he is not committed to you.
Yet he still asks you for big favors often.
This can include:
- Financial loans
- Riding horses to get places
- Providing advice on critical and time-sensitive issues
- Medical help or advice
- Help with purchasing groceries or produce
- Assist with moving, cleaning, or doing other tasks
- If he puts you in this type of role, then his services are becoming a bit overpriced.
No matter how much you like it, keep the “balance of trade” in mind.
Have you ever asked him for a favor? If so, what is the approximate percentage?
10) He never makes you his priority, not even once
As I mentioned earlier, one of the glaring signs that a married man is taking advantage of you is that he always puts you last.
It is important to note that this trend may occur slowly.
At first, there may not be a real situation where you notice how he thinks of you or how much of a priority you are.
The times he declines a meeting because he’s busy or has another obligation is something you don’t take personally, and move on.
But as you spend more time with this guy and you start to feel feelings, pay attention to where you stand in the hierarchy.
It is common for romantic feelings to sometimes blind us to objective facts.
Manipulators know this, which is why they often make lame excuses for their wrong behavior and those they love accept them.
If a married man is using you, you will know it because he never makes you a priority.
Even if you need urgent help or have an emergency, you will notice that it passes you to someone else or asks you to contact the authorities.
11) He is sexually irresponsible and reckless at your expense
One unfortunate and glaring sign that a married man uses is that he is sexually reckless.
What do I mean by this?
I mean, he doesn’t care about using protection, barely cares about what precautions you may or may not take, and doesn’t seem to care about discussing sexual safety.
You can point out that this is a risk for him too if he doesn’t know you well, which is true.
If a man doesn’t seem to care about using birth control or getting pregnant, you have to wonder how many other women he acts this way toward as well.
At the same time, his lack of concern for your safety shows that you are nothing more than a sex toy for him.
If he doesn’t seem to care at all about sexual responsibility, then this is not a guy you want to spend a lot of time around unless he radically changes his ways.
12) He openly checks out and flirts with other women around you
One other glaring sign that a married man is using you is that he checks out other women when he is around you.
Most importantly, if he is cheating on you and so is his wife, this is further proof that you don’t mean much to him and he doesn’t respect you much.
However, it can be difficult to know if he is cheating on you too.
For this reason, pay attention to his behavior when you meet or pass other women.
If he’s openly checking them out and gauging their curves with his eyes, this guy isn’t much interested in you beyond your underwear.
You can make all the excuses you want, but if he’s truly interested in getting to know you and appreciating you as a human being, his attention won’t be immediately diverted by the other attractive women he’s met.
13) He expects you to always be available to him
If you are seeing a married man, one thing is clear: he has a lot of limitations associated with being married especially if he has children.
If you are single, you should be more open to answering his calls, texts, and messages.
But that doesn’t mean you’re just a free-for-all buffet.
You still have commitments, you still have days where you don’t feel well, and you still have last-minute things and crises that come up that cause you to cancel.
That’s why it’s not reasonable for him to expect you to always be available.
If so, you need to make him do a reality check and realize that just because he has less time and availability, it doesn’t mean he can treat you like something he orders on Uber Eats.
If you’re wondering whether or not you have a future with a married man, check out the signs below that show he won’t leave his wife for you.
14) He withholds his time and attention if you are not having sex
Abstaining from sex to manipulate your partner is sad.
It happens in serious relationships and marriage as well as in affairs.
If you see a married man just using you for sex and companionship, he probably is.
He will withhold his time and companionship if you don’t give him your body.
It’s disgusting and transactional, and it’s not hard to spot.
If you notice that this man is holding back on his availability when you pull back from intimacy, this is likely what’s going on.
He rates his time and attention when you give him physical affection.
If this happens, rest assured that you are being taken advantage of, disrespected, and held in low esteem.
