Oh, good child. He’s usually cute at first glance, but once you get to know him, you realize you’ve got an adopted child.
However, this person can drive you crazy and break your heart!
But how can you be sure?
Well, by the end of this article, you’ll know. Here are 12 red flags that indicate a man-child relationship:
1) He avoids taking responsibility for himself
The first red flag to look out for in your partner is if he or she struggles to take responsibility for himself and his actions.
Let’s say he lost his job because he was constantly late – should he accept that it was his fault, or should he blame his boss, colleagues and everyone else under the sun?
Or, if he wastes a month’s wages on a weekend with the kids, does that fall on him, or does the blame fall entirely on his friends for influencing him?
You see, the difference between a man and a man is a child, is that the former, no matter how painful, will admit when he makes a mistake.
They will do whatever it takes to correct the situation.
On the other hand, the latter will always play the victim.
In other words, responsibility is not a word in his dictionary, and as his partner, you probably already understand this.
2) He cries for his parents when things don’t go his way
Is my mom on speed dial?
Does Dad intervene when your leg hits a bump in the road?
Well, if he can’t take responsibility for himself, it makes sense for him to turn to mom and dad every time a problem arises!
Of course, it is normal to talk to your parents about the problems you are facing. We all do it.
But there’s a big difference between asking for advice and expecting your parents to fix your life.
If he depends on his mother and father, then there is no doubt that he is a man’s child. Your in-laws are most likely enabling this.
3) Not to be financially independent
Continuing the theme of mom and dad, is your man financially dependent on them?
Or his grandmother? sister? best friend? You?
Because if so, that’s another red flag to watch out for.
Here’s the thing – once we reach adulthood, it’s up to us to find our way. Family can help from time to time, there’s no doubt about that.
But if it’s constant, for things like rent, car insurance, and daily living expenses, that’s not normal.
You have to ask yourself:
What kind of future can I realistically build with someone who can’t even organize their finances?
4) His communication skills rival those of a 5-year-old child
Now, this next red flag I’ll take with a pinch of salt. There are a lot of fairly mature adults who still do not know how to communicate properly.
But if the other points in this article are also true, then you are probably in a man-child relationship.
One way to know is to think about how to argue…
Do you get cold shoulder?
Does he resort to playing the blame game? (This is due to his inability to take responsibility for himself).
Does he scream, kick, cry, and throw tantrums like children do?
A real man wouldn’t waste time on all that. A real man will sit down and talk things through and look for solutions.
5) He depends on others to meet his basic needs
Another red sign that you are in a man-child relationship is if he is dependent on you or his family for basic things, such as:
- to cook
- cleaning
- the shopping
- washing machine
I understand now. If he comes from a very sheltered upbringing, or from a culture that promotes the attitude that men should not participate in domestic activities, then it stands to reason that he is like that.
But he’s an adult now.
There is no excuse for not learning the basic things we should all know.
The fact that he’s not interested in teaching himself or learning how to do these things says a lot. Which brings me to the next point:
6) He lacks ambition
When it comes to his career, future and personal development, how would he rate your man on a scale of 1 to 10?
If it’s less than 5, I’d say you probably have a man-child on your hands.
I don’t mean that he should have big ambitions. He doesn’t need to become president or fly into outer space.
But he must have at least some personal goals and a drive to improve himself.
And if he doesn’t?
Well, it’s a sign that he’s not thinking deeply. He is not fully aware of himself and his limitations, which is why he is not interested in working on them.
Eventually, most of us reach an age where we begin to mature and think about the future. The fact that it isn’t is a big red flag.
7) He avoids serious conversations
Speaking of not thinking deeply, does your man have difficulty with intimate or vulnerable conversations?
When you talk about the future, or where your relationship is headed, does he make inappropriate jokes, groan, or exit the chat before it even starts?
Look, the future is scary for all of us.
No one enjoys serious conversations.
But it is necessary. Anyone with an ounce of maturity understands that.
8) He has a disrespectful attitude
I once dated a man and a child. We were in our mid-twenties, and at first, he seemed to be coherent.
But soon small red flags started popping up. One of them was the extent of his rule.
If I played a song I liked, he’d respond with something like: “What on earth are you listening to?”
Or if you cooked a special meal, let’s say in a kitchen he wasn’t used to, he would make fun of it or pull faces.
In other words, he was not respectful.
As adults, we should be able to get our point across politely. If you don’t like the music or the food, you can say so respectfully.
But the sarcastic behavior is not there.
And if your man does the same, unfortunately, there’s a good chance he’s a man-child too.
9) He is immature
Well, if he’s being disrespectful, he’s probably immature too.
You will notice this in the jokes he makes, and how he goes about his daily work.
He probably won’t see the value of working or having a good job. He’ll probably hang out with other immature people.
He will also act very childish when he doesn’t get what he wants.
Now, at this point, if the red flags I mentioned ring true for you, it’s understandable that you’re feeling hurt or frustrated.
But the truth is that you need to get to know someone before you can tell if they are mature or still living in a teenage bubble.
However, one thing I will say is that if he doesn’t buckle down and get real, you’re going to have a tough time.
A man like this is not a partner who will support you and build a life with you. As cruel as it sounds, he is a grown child who will grab hold of you and drag you down.
10) He lacks emotional maturity
Speaking of maturity, there’s one area we haven’t covered yet, and that’s how he deals with his feelings.
I already mentioned that he might throw tantrums or act childish.
But if you notice that he can’t regulate his emotions, or understand other people’s emotions, that’s another red sign that you’re in a man-child relationship.
11) Addicted to entertainment
I don’t want to stereotype because I know a lot of healthy adult men who play video games and still maintain a job, a family, and a social life.
But if all your partner does is play video games, watch TV, and browse on his phone, that’s not a good sign!
Sure, we’ve all been guilty of doing things like this when we were young and carefree. When things like “balance” didn’t matter much.
But as adults, we realize that a fulfilling life comes from multiple aspects, not just from constantly being distracted or entertained.
12) He has a constant need for validation
Finally, have you noticed that your partner wants validation all the time?
For example, if he does something (normal) and you don’t praise him, does he get upset?
Or if you’re in a group and he’s not the center of attention, he frowns?
A real man wouldn’t care about that kind of thing. He knows his worth, and he is confident of himself.
But the man-child needs the approval of others to feel satisfied.
He needs attention and pampering, and people make a fuss over him.
Very similar to a real baby.
So, hopefully this article has shed some light on whether or not you are with a man’s child.
If you are, my advice is to have a serious conversation with him.
If he is willing to grow and work on himself, there may be hope for you guys yet.
But if not?
Girl, run to the hills! You need someone who is an equal and not an adult to your mother.
