Some people hurt the people around them, and these types of toxic people are the ones you should avoid at all costs. They seem to derive satisfaction from manipulating others or messing around and pushing people to extremes.
How many types of toxic people have you encountered so far?
Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons.
As important as it is to learn how to deal with different types of people, truly toxic people will never be worth your time and energy — and they will take a lot out of each of them. Toxic people create unnecessary complications, conflict, and worst of all, tension.
“People inspire you, or they drain you—choose them wisely.” – Hans F. Hansen
Recent research from Friedrich Schiller University in Germany shows just how dangerous toxic people can be. They found that exposure to stimuli that cause strong negative emotions — the same type of exposure you experience when dealing with toxic people — triggered a massive stress response in the subjects’ brains.
Whether it’s negativity, cruelty, victim syndrome, or just plain insanity, toxic people drive your brain into a stressful state that must be avoided at all costs.
Studies have long shown that stress can have a lasting negative effect on the brain. Exposure to even a few days of stress impairs the effectiveness of neurons in the hippocampus, an important brain region responsible for thinking and memory.
Weeks of stress damage brain cells reversibly, and months of stress can destroy them permanently. Toxic people don’t just make you miserable – they’re hard on your brain.
The ability to manage your emotions and remain calm under pressure is directly related to your performance. TalentSmart has conducted research with over a million people, and we’ve found that 90% of high performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress to stay calm and in control. One of their greatest talents is the ability to identify toxic people and keep them at bay.
Mostly toxic types of behavior
10 toxic personality types: 10
It is often said that you are the product of the five people you spend the most time with. If you allow even one of these five people to be toxic, you will soon discover how much they can hold you back.
You cannot hope to distance yourself from toxic people until you know who they are first. The trick is to separate those who are simply annoying or difficult from those who are truly toxic.
Here are ten types of toxic people that you should stay away from at all costs in order not to become one yourself.
10 types of toxic people you should avoid at all costs
- The gossip
“Great minds discuss ideas, ordinary people discuss events, and small minds discuss people.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Gossips derive pleasure from the misfortunes of others. It can be fun looking at someone else’s personal or professional mistakes at first, but over time, it becomes tiring, makes you feel terrible, and hurts others. There are so many positives and so much to learn from interesting people to waste your time talking about other people’s misfortunes.
Some people have no control over their emotions. They will criticize you and take out their feelings on you, while always thinking that you are the one causing them to feel bad.
It’s hard to get rid of annoying people from your life because their lack of control over their emotions makes you feel bad for them. When push comes to shove, temperamental people will use you as an emotional toilet and should be avoided at all costs.
- The victim
It’s hard to get to know the victims because at first, you empathize with their problems. But as time goes by, you start to realize that “need time” is all the time. Victims effectively pay any personal liability by doing every speed bump they encounter on Impassable Mountain.
They don’t see tough times as opportunities to learn and grow; Instead, they see them as directors. There is an old saying: “Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.” It perfectly embodies the toxicity of the victim, who chooses to suffer every single time.
Self-absorbed people bring you down through the emotional distance they keep from others. You can usually tell if you hang out with self-absorbed people because you start to feel completely alone.
This happens because as far as they are concerned, there is no point in having a real connection between them and anyone else. You are just a tool used to build their self-esteem.
If you want to know more about toxic personality types, here is a video to help you:
For envious people, the grass is always greener elsewhere. Even when something great happens to envious people, they derive no satisfaction from it.
This is because they measure their wealth against the wealth of the world when they should derive their satisfaction from within. And let’s face it, there is always someone out there who is better off if you look hard enough. It is dangerous to spend a lot of time with envious people because they teach you to underestimate your achievements.
Manipulators suck time and energy out of your life under the façade of friendship. They are one of the worst types of toxic people. It can be difficult to deal with them because they treat you like a friend.
They know what you like, what makes you happy, and what you think is funny, but the difference is that they are using this information as part of a hidden agenda.
Manipulators always want something from you, and if you look back at your relationships with them, it’s all demanding, taking, taking, with little or no give. They will do anything to win you over so they can work with you.
- The Dementor
In J.K. Rowling’s “Harry Potter” series, Dementors are evil creatures that suck the souls of people out of their bodies, leaving them as mere shells of humans.
When a Dementor enters the room, it gets dark, and people get cold and start reminiscing about their worst memories. Rowling said she developed the concept of Dementors based on extremely negative people — the kind of people who can walk into a room and instantly suck the life out of it.
Dementors suck life out of the room by imposing their negativity and pessimism on everyone they meet. Their views are always glassy and half empty, and they can instill fear and anxiety in the mildest of situations.
A University of Notre Dame study found that students who were assigned to roommates who thought negatively were more likely to develop negative thinking and even depression themselves.
There are some toxic people out there with bad intentions, who derive their deepest satisfaction from the pain and misery of others. Either they are trying to hurt you, make you feel bad, or get something from you; Otherwise, they have no interest in you.
The only good thing about this type is that you can quickly detect their intentions, which makes it much quicker to get them out of your life.
Judgmental people are quick to tell you what’s great and what’s not. They have a way of taking the thing you’re most passionate about and making you feel bad about it.
Instead of appreciating and learning from people who are different from themselves, judgmental people look down on others. Judgmental people stifle your desire to be a passionate and expressive person, so it’s best for you to ignore them and just be yourself.
- The arrogant
Arrogant people are time wasters because they see everything you do as a personal challenge. Arrogance is a false confidence, and it always hides great fears.
A University of Akron study found that arrogance is associated with a large number of problems in the workplace. Arrogant people tend to be lower performers, more apathetic, and have more cognitive problems than the average person.
How to deal with toxic people once you spot them
These 10 types of toxic people drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational. Make no mistake about it – their behavior goes against reason, so why would you allow yourself to respond emotionally to them and get sucked into the mix?
The more irrational and off-base a person is, the easier it will be for you to remove yourself from their traps. Stop trying to beat them at their own game.
Distance yourself from them emotionally, and treat your interactions with them as if it were a science project (or a shrink if you prefer that analogy). You don’t need to respond to the emotional mess – just the facts.
Maintaining an emotional distance requires conscious awareness. You can’t stop someone from pressing your buttons if you don’t know when it’s happening. Sometimes you will find yourself in situations where you need to regroup and choose the best way forward. That’s fine, and you shouldn’t be afraid to buy yourself some time to do it.
Most people feel as if they are working or living with someone, and they have no way of controlling the mess. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Once you identify the toxic person, you will begin to find their behavior more predictable and easier to understand. This will prepare you to think rationally about when and where you should put up with it and when and where you should not.
You can set boundaries, but you need to do so consciously and proactively. If you let things happen naturally, you are bound to find yourself constantly embroiled in difficult conversations.
If you set boundaries and decide when and where you will deal with a difficult person, you can control a lot of the mess. The only trick is to stick to your guns and keep the boundary in place when the person tries to cross it, which they will.
Are you ready to avoid toxic people?