I recently spoke to a friend who exhibits the vast majority of traits associated with narcissistic personality disorder, even though he has never been diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
Some of the traits associated with narcissism include:
- Sense of superiority
- The high degree of concern for self-image
- Inability to accept criticism
- Lying and exaggerating
- Violating boundaries
- Expecting favorable treatment
- Jealousy toward others
- The belief that people are jealous of them
- Criticism of others
- Manipulation of others
People with narcissistic tendencies also tend to believe they know best—even when compared to the most educated people out there and in the face of contradictory scientific evidence. During a phone conversation with my friend (who I hadn’t seen physically for two weeks), I told her that my son had a bad cough and that I was sure I had the virus because my throat had been so sore for a few days and I felt uncomfortable. She responded by saying, “I can’t have this because you’re not sick enough.” I reminded her that the vast majority of people will have fairly mild symptoms and that a sore throat and general feeling of being unwell could be a sign of the virus.
She said: “I think that’s nonsense. You’d have to be much sicker to have the virus.”
She said: “No, it’s not. I’m generally fit and healthy. I’m just worried about infecting others if I get the virus.”
She said: “You don’t have the virus.”
She said: “How do you know? Do you know more than the scientists and doctors?”
She said: “Yes. I’ve seen people with the virus on TV. I don’t believe this nonsense about having the virus and having almost no symptoms. I don’t care what they say.”
It’s incredibly frustrating to be on the receiving end of a phone call like this and decide to end the conversation by changing the subject. I learned long ago that there’s no point in trying to prove your point to a narcissist—no matter how much scientific evidence you have to back up your argument.
On a broader cultural level, the narcissist’s belief that they know better than the experts can be extremely dangerous, especially at a time like this when we need to follow the advice that is backed by medical and scientific knowledge. Beyond the majestic feeling that they are the exception to the rule, narcissists can fail to listen to others and can spread the virus by making their own rules. What is frustrating on an individual level takes on a whole new dynamic when the impact of narcissism is considered on a cultural level.
