Every day, loving relationships can be painful sometimes, and knowing why love hurts will help you get rid of all the negative thoughts running through your mind. Love hurts, but does that mean you’ll give it up completely?

Why does love hurt? I mean seriously.

Love in movies is full of roses and sunshine but, for some reason, in real life it’s different.

Falling in love means feeling pain. Maybe not all the time but certainly some of the time.

Many people are in pain because they are being physically or psychologically abused by their partner. We won’t talk about that today. We’ll talk about why regular, everyday, loving relationships can be painful.

The answers may surprise you!

Here are 5 reasons why love hurts

1. Uncertainty about the future.
   When you wonder why love hurts, one of the biggest reasons is the uncertainty of it all.

Love is wonderful and when we fall into it we feel wonderful and safe. And happy. We are, in a way, used to that safety and comfort and don’t want it to go away.

Unfortunately, there are no guarantees in love. We know that from experience. And our hearts are so afraid that this relationship will become like others and cause us pain. once again.

So, it is not knowing the future of our relationship — how it will end — that causes us physical pain.

Anxiety can cause stomachaches, real heartache, headaches, and other physical symptoms. Symptoms that cause us pain, both literal and figurative.

Try to manage your fears about the future. No one knows what will happen and worrying about it will only take away the happiness you are feeling right now.

Related: How To Spark Chemistry With A Good Man: 9 Relationship Tips

2. Expectations of what it could be.
   Unfortunately, it is this darn future that causes love to hurt in a relationship.

For many of us, living in the moment is very difficult. Instead of enjoying where we are now, we look forward to the future.

Even if you’re secure in your relationship, wondering what’s next can cause physical and emotional pain.

It’s those questions you keep asking in your head over and over again. When will I see him again? What are we going to do, if anything, this weekend? When can we move in together? When will she introduce me to her friends?

Again, worrying about the future, even in a secure, committed relationship, can cause pain. Symptoms can be similar to those listed above. You may also find yourself feeling needy and clingy, both of which aren’t very pleasant for your partner.

So if this is you constantly worrying about the future, try letting it pass and focusing on it now.

3. Chemical Crash.
   Another reason why love is so painful is because of our body chemistry.

When we fall in love, all kinds of wonderful chemicals flood our bodies.

Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins are all stimulated when we feel love and lust. These chemicals sound so good that they are, in a way, addictive. Because our bodies only produce it at certain times, like when we fall in love or after exercising when we don’t have it, we crave it.

You know how, after a lovely weekend together, you break up and the feeling is really hurt?

This is because your body is literally going to pull out those chemicals that make you feel good. And you will never feel them again until you have some connection with your person.

This withdrawal is very painful and we will do almost anything to ease the pain. This need leads to worry about when we will see them again and the suffering increases.

If they are experiencing withdrawal pain, I encourage my clients to exercise.

Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins are produced by exercise and you can, at least temporarily, get those chemicals flowing through your blood again and relieve that pain.

Related: The 5 Types Of Men You Should Never Fall In Love With (EVER)

4. Baggage that we bring.
   Yes, we’ve all been in and out of love throughout our lives, and for many of us, the memories of what caused our past heartbreak are real and still fresh in our minds.

As a result, we bring the baggage of past relationships into our new relationships and that can cause pain.

I know I’ve had several friends who let me down. They made big promises and promises to me, then didn’t stick to them, leaving me heartbroken.

As a result, when I’m in a new relationship, I’m always looking for a letdown. Sometimes it gets so bad that I set up the new guy to let me down, just to see what he would do.

This baggage, baggage that comes from past relationships, can cause us a lot of pain in our new relationships. And this is dangerous because we don’t want that baggage to interfere with the new person’s success.

If you have pain from past relationships, try to let go of it and not project it onto your new partner. It’s not his fault that someone else did wrong, so don’t make him pay for it!

5. Disappointment.
   You know when you’re falling in love and you’re so excited that you finally met someone who had their shit together and knew how to treat you.

After years and years of searching and I finally got to the dirt push!

or are you

When we fall in love, all we know is that our person is complete. But then, as time goes on, our person reveals more about who they are and we learn that maybe they aren’t exactly who we thought they were.

I am not saying that your ideal man turned out to be a narcissistic sociopath (although this does happen) but that your ideal man was not perfect.

The guy who always used to hold the door for you probably doesn’t. Or maybe he revealed himself with a bit of saliva. Maybe he’s spending more time at work than he used to or he’s playing some other video game that you might like.

When the person we thought was perfect turns out to be, it can be a huge disappointment. It’s not that they’re not perfect enough to last but sometimes vigilance can be rude. And painful.

So, what do you do when disappointment causes you pain?

You can evaluate the good things about your person (such as the fact that they are not a social narcissist) and, if necessary, address the things that may not be ideal.

If you know video games are going to be a problem, talk to him about how you feel about them or choose to accept them as a part of your life.

Either way, don’t let the fact that your person isn’t the perfect person you thought they were, get in the way of your happiness.

You are probably not the person who thought you were and is still sticking around.

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Why does love hurt? Why can’t life be easy and full of joy?

On some level, these are existential questions but there are also some concrete reasons for this.

Fortunately, pain does not need to end a relationship. Evaluate the things that cause you pain and take steps to address them.

Do you feel uncertain about your future? Are you wondering about expectations? Struggling with a chemical breakdown or the weight of your luggage? Are you wondering if this imperfect person is the right person for you?

Deal with these things one at a time and the pain you feel in your relationship can be managed and reduced.

Love can be wonderful and love can be painful. Make sure the two are evenly balanced and you can live happily ever after!

you can do that!