If you feel like life has forgotten you and you wonder, “When will I find my soulmate?”… you’re not alone. I’ve felt alone and forgotten in my life. And the shame associated with it all has been more crippling than the loneliness.
We all have expectations in relationships. If they’re not met by a certain age, we develop a belief system that validates our perceived worthlessness. This sets us up to be drawn into toxic relationships. Then we wonder why we’re being lied to, deceived, devalued, and disrespected at every turn.
At this point, there’s a fork in the road. You can either be a victim or you can decide to turn inward and build your own life.
This made me think about how many times readers and clients have asked me, and how many times in the past I’ve asked myself, “When will I find my soulmate?”
The biggest fear we all have when we ask this question is: What if I never find my soulmate? What if I never have a soulmate?
Since we’re doing the “what ifs,” let’s keep going.
What if you were told you had a terminal illness and only had one year to live? How would you live, act, and think differently? What would you like to do?
Think about it. I know that I will live more consciously. I will not take anything for granted and I will try to accomplish as much as I can in that year. I will not take crap – from others and my fears.
What do you expect? We are all suffering from a deadly disease. This is called life. And as far as I know, none of us will survive.
You should never have to hear that you only have one year to live until you start living on your terms, changing your habits, and dismantling your negative belief system. The same goes for soulmates. It shouldn’t have to be rock bottom and worrying that you will never find your soulmate until you can embrace your destiny and love yourself.
Once you can quell your fear of the unknown, you can then start living and attracting the love you deserve.
Why do we look at some people as superhuman? Why are these people’s beautiful, inspiring quotes all over everyone’s social media pages? How do they seem to get prettier as they age? Why are they constantly admired, revered, revered, and imitated (but never copied)?
What makes them special?
It’s not that they’re different in any way. They’ve spoken their truth, faced their insecurities, and become the embodiment of everything they needed when they were younger. They’ve become their saviors and soulmates first.
Am I saying that you’ll never find your soulmate and that you only have one year left to live? Not. What I’m saying is that life is so much better when it’s a cake that’s already edible without the icing. If that’s you, then when anything sweet comes along, it complements an already delicious cake on its own. Some cakes taste so bland, and the icing is the only thing that makes them “cake.”
Stop waiting for life to come to you. If you’re happy, stop self-sabotaging. Stop waiting for the sky to fall or for something to come along and “take” your happiness. If you’re not happy, stop waiting for your soulmate to show up to be your confidence booster and give you an identity/sense of purpose. Make it your goal to live your life as if you were the soulmate you’ve always dreamed of.
Through every breakup, humiliation, divorce, illness, hardship, negative bank statement, failure, triumph, meeting, happiness, travel, celebration, etc., the one constant in your life story has been you. Not your parents, not anyone—you.
If you’re still wondering “When will I find my soulmate?” remember this…
You are the one person who has been with you through everything.
You are the one who has wiped away every tear and been with you through every sleepless night.
Whether you love yourself or not, you’ve been with yourself through thick and thin.
And guess what? You’re still here, right now. You made it; your heart still beats. How does that not define your once-in-a-lifetime soulmate?
We have to stop waiting and start appreciating where we are, what we’ve endured, and what we give ourselves.
Once you can truly do that, you’ll be at your most desirable and attractive. Not because of anything superficial, but because we’re at our most beautiful when we finally give up on being preoccupied with anyone who validates our beauty.
So this new year, stop waiting for your soulmate to show up and start being you.
Your blog is a constant source of inspiration for me. Your passion for your subject matter shines through in every post, and it’s clear that you genuinely care about making a positive impact on your readers.