Everyone wants to love and be loved because love makes the world go round, right? But what happens when a feeling as pure and beautiful as love is twisted and used to focus on a person and try to control them? Obsessive love disorder occurs. In such a situation, love quickly begins to feel like a noose around the neck, and seems to get tighter and tighter the more one tries to escape from it.
Let me make one thing clear from the start: Obsessive love is not loved. Love never seeks control or harm; True love is supposed to make you feel safe, secure, and at peace. Obsessive love disorder will not allow a person to live in peace and will make them feel as if they should sleep with one eye open.
Let’s delve into what is obsessive love disorder.
Related: The 10 Types of Toxic Relationships You Should Avoid At All Costs
What is obsessive love disorder?
Obsessive love disorder (OLD) can be defined as a condition in which an individual becomes obsessed with the person they think they are in love with. They pursue the topic of their love relentlessly because they remain under the illusion that their love is being reciprocated.
Old age people think they need to protect those they love obsessively, and even try to control everything they do. Although aging is not yet considered a mental health condition, it is a disabling condition that can get worse over time, unless treatment and medical intervention are provided.
If you are a person with obsessive love disorder, you are likely to end up in dysfunctional relationships, and in some cases may chase and threaten the object of your desire, if your feelings are not reciprocated in ways. you want.
Causes of obsessive love disorder
So, what causes obsessive love disorder?
Obsessive love disorder has not been classified as a mental health disorder/mental health condition/mental illness, which is why it is difficult to properly understand the underlying causes. However, in general, it has been associated with or seen as a major symptom of some other pre-existing mental health condition in people.
For example, people with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), borderline personality disorder (BPD), delusional disorder, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia may develop symptoms of aging.
Attachment disorders can be another major and potential cause of aging. When someone is unable to form healthy bonds and relationships with other people, including family members, they may quickly escalate into problematic situations and attachments. Attachment disorders can cause a person to become extremely needy, clingy, and obsessive about their partner.
There can also be a link between obsessive love disorder and childhood trauma. Kids who never get the right kind of parental love and affection sometimes grow up to have a skewed view of love. Or, if they grow up witnessing an abusive relationship between their parents characterized by control, excessive possession, and violence, they internalize it and believe that this is what love is supposed to look like.
8 Signs of Obsessive Love Disorder
- You want constant updates in their lives.
You can’t stay away from them, and you always have this uncontrollable need to know what’s going on in their life and what they’re planning to do.
Constant texting and frequent calls are common things to you, and no matter how upset they are, you can keep doing it just to check if they’re thinking of you.
- You are petrified of losing her.
Just the thought of losing her is unbearable for you, and you are willing to do your best to make sure that never happens.
You constantly suffer from panic attacks and anxiety, thinking that your partner might leave you, or worse, leave you for someone else. In your mind, you cannot survive without them.
- You want to spend every waking moment with them.
Spending quality time with your partner takes on a whole new meaning when it comes to suffering from obsessive love disorder.
You may want to spend all your time with them, and expect them to do the same for you. Aside from them, you don’t have anyone else to spend time with in your life, and your partner also has to give up their social life to spend time with you.
- You are always convinced and determined that they are cheating on you.
This is a major symptom of obsessive love disorder. No matter how nice, unproblematic, and loyal your partner is, you always think that he is cheating on you or plotting to leave you for someone else.
You may not have any evidence to prove it, or even think this way, but you will still be obsessed with that thought.
Related: 8 Evasion Tactics Narcissists Use To Stop You From Questioning Them
- You have a pathological need to control your partner.
For you, love means controlling your partner, and you spare no effort in making sure of that. To feel more secure in the relationship, you always try to control your partner and their emotions, where they go, who they meet, what they wear, etc.
You want to keep a tab on everything they do because that’s what love looks like in your mind.
- Feel free to emotionally manipulate them.
Whenever you see things not going your way, you are emotionally manipulating your partner. If your partner refuses to do what you say, you resort to manipulative actions such as emotional outbursts, crying, shaming them, making them feel guilty, and telling them how much you did to the relationship, and how much you love them.
This almost always works to make your partner feel guilty for being angry in the first place and end up doing what you wanted them to do in the first place.
- You firmly believe that you are the only one who can and must protect them.
This is a classic symptom of obsessive love disorder. You feel that you are the only one in the world who can protect your partner, and without you, they would never be able to live happily and safely.
Because of this kind of mentality, you hide them and prevent them from even going out and getting to know people, because you are afraid that someone will take them away from you. Thus, you need to protect them and protect your relationship.
- You are unhealthily dependent on your partner.
You are so obsessed with your partner, you ignore all of your family and friends and spend all of your time and energy on your partner. You isolated everyone and isolated yourself in the relationship, and there is no one else in your life apart from them.
Plus, you have no hobbies or interests outside of a relationship, and all the things that make you happy, you’ve stopped doing them.
Related: 8 Steps To Recovery After A Controlling Relationship
What is the difference between healthy love and obsessive?
The biggest difference between healthy love and morbid love is that healthy love will never try to control, force or guilt someone to love you, while morbid love does just that. Healthy love is love in the truest sense of the word, while morbid love is best defined as intense infatuation.
Normal, healthy relationships are not characterized by fear, instability, violence, control, or dependence on others. But obsessive relationships. A healthy partner will never expect their partner to be afraid of them, nor will they try to control each other all the time.
Confidence is also a huge deciding factor when it comes to differentiating the two. In a healthy relationship, couples don’t always suspect each other or always think that their partners will cheat on them.
However, in the case of obsessive love, you always feel the fear that your partner will leave you in trouble. If your partner is out with their friends and they don’t reply to your messages right away, you think they are cheating on you overseas.
Comment traiter le trouble obsessionnel de l’amour
En ce qui concerne le traitement du trouble amoureux obsessionnel, les médecins essaieront de traiter les causes sous-jacentes et les conditions préexistantes afin de traiter cela de la meilleure façon possible. En l’absence de conditions ou de causes existantes, un plan de traitement spécifique sera attribué au patient, en fonction de ses symptômes et de ses besoins.
En général, une combinaison de psychothérapie et de médicaments est le moyen le plus efficace de traiter un diagnostic de trouble obsessionnel de l’amour. Les médicaments tels que les anxiolytiques, les antipsychotiques, les stabilisateurs de l’humeur et les antidépresseurs peuvent être très efficaces.
Outre la psychothérapie, certains des autres types de thérapie qui peuvent vraiment vous aider à surmonter l’obsession amoureuse sont la thérapie cognitivo-comportementale, la thérapie par la parole, la thérapie comportementale dialectique et la thérapie par le jeu (pour les enfants).
L’implication des familles peut également être essentielle pendant les séances de thérapie, surtout si votre trouble obsessionnel de l’amour est le résultat d’un traumatisme infantile, d’une négligence infantile et d’une enfance dysfonctionnelle.
Sujets apparentés : Avez-vous envie d’amour ? 7 signes de faim émotionnelle
Comment se libérer d’un amour obsessionnel ?
Vivre avec un trouble amoureux obsessionnel peut sembler intimidant et impossible, mais ce n’est vraiment pas le cas. Oui, cela peut être très difficile, mais ce n’est pas impossible. Comme mentionné ci-dessus, la thérapie peut faire des merveilles pour vous aider à gérer cela, mais voici d’autres choses que vous pouvez faire pour y remédier.
Si vous remarquez que vos sentiments pour une autre personne vous consument lentement et deviennent obsessionnels, ne les ignorez pas. Reconnaissez-les et obtenez de l’aide.
Parlez à vos amis et à votre famille de ce que vous ressentez afin d’avoir une meilleure idée de ce à quoi ressemble un amour sain.
Reconnaissez que vous avez un problème et demandez de l’aide immédiatement.
Engagez-vous dans vos passe-temps, vos intérêts favoris et les choses qui vous rendent heureux. Non seulement cela vous aidera à vous distraire, mais cela vous donnera également à penser à autre chose, en dehors de votre relation et de vos sentiments obsessionnels.
Si nécessaire, parlez ouvertement à la personne que vous “aimez” de ce que vous vivez et gardez une distance avec elle, afin de savoir comment gérer et exprimer vos sentiments de manière saine.
If you’re trying to deal with obsessive-compulsive disorder in love, let me tell you one thing: just wait because you’ve got this. The journey to recovery may not be a smooth one, but if you acknowledge what’s going on, take your obsessive love disorder treatment seriously, and put in real efforts trying to recover, you can truly recover and live a happy, normal life.
