Twisted tongue. I’ve always been tongue-tied. He was always catching me in ‘lies’. The funny part is that I’ve never tried to be dishonest. He constantly scolds me with questions and accusations. Never stopped.
If this sounds familiar and you think it’s going to stop, you’re kidding yourself.
I’ve learned that once you start explaining yourself, you allow someone to question your character. You subject yourself to their judgment (and perhaps abusive behavior) for no reason, wasting time and energy on efforts for nothing more than maintaining someone’s ego.
Related: 9 Tips For Dealing With Your Crazy, Narcissist Ex
Stop! They distract you from their actions, oftentimes placing it on something that has absolutely nothing to do with who you actually are or what you actually do. Most often, they are grasping at straws and messing around with things that may have happened in the past, or may not have happened at all.
How do I know all this? I dated Satan for two years.
Saying “Satan” may seem harsh to some of you, but not to those of you who understand what I’ve been through. After abuse and damage, is the most accurate word that comes to mind. I might as well call it what it is.
However, he was charming. Contagious for someone like me. I think I may be a protocol for the narcissist’s prey.
I like to please people, I’m a perfectionist, and for whatever reason, I seek validation from the person I’m romantically involved with. Maybe he could smell this, like a dog smells fear.
The moment I should have known was the moment he started to question my character, which was almost instantaneous. If he is constantly pestering you for more information about your sex life, stop now and walk away.
He doesn’t need to know how many guys you’ve been with. He doesn’t need to know your last link. And he certainly doesn’t need to know their blood type (yes, really).
He remembers every little detail, and if you say “5” instead of “6” the next time he asks you, you’ll immediately be labeled a total liar, which will likely give him a reason to never believe a word you say. He will always assume that you are a cheater and a liar.
If you always feel as if he’s trying to set you up for failure, he probably is.
It doesn’t matter if he hasn’t talked to you for the past two nights in a row, and you have a reason to be upset with him. You are not allowed to question his behavior and your feelings will not be validated.
Whatever questions and assumptions he makes about your character while out and about, only God knows what’s important. So just sit back, shut up, and get ready to answer any questions he might have. Or, please, please, walk away.
Don’t explain that the last time you were illegal was four years ago. Don’t tell him what a good friend you were, and that you stayed home while he was away. Do not, I repeat, do not tell him that you will do anything to prove yourself.
