I mention over and over how we always come back for more. This, of course, is Hoover’s brilliance. Here are ten types of hoof victim narcissist.
Some people struggle to understand that we will always keep coming back for more fuel if given the chance. Why don’t we? We love fuel. We love your fuel (after all, that’s why you chose it as your primary source) and even better, we love your Hoover fuel.
Hoover serves many functions
First and foremost, it is a means of exercising control and gaining fuel, of seeing how the ground lies for more potential machinations, a means of preventing you from moving forward, a means of impeding your understanding, a way of consolidating our superiority, dominance and omnipotence.
It serves these functions and many more. Hoover speaks throughout The Dance with Our Kind, but most likely relates it to the aftermath, the period after escape or more likely its disposal.
When we look at Hoover in such a scenario, when we come back for more, we do so for one of the following three reasons.
3 reasons why narcissists do shit
to get you back into the relationship again so that the whole narcissistic cycle can begin again;
to hurt you. We don’t want the formal relationship again but we do want to remind you how worthless you are and therefore aim to hurt you with this kind of hoovering;
To draw some positive fuel (may it be a decrease or it could be a reason for his bond) but we don’t want the relationship to start official again or indeed ever, but we know you provide delicious hoover fuel so we’ll keep coming back for more. We’re not doing enough to officially resume the relationship but we’re definitely getting some fuel from you. It might be a text, it might be a phone call or a personal visit, but it goes through. It may take a moment or just an afternoon, but it’s temporary and then we’ll siphon fuel again (only to show up at a later stage). Formal relationship never starts again.
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This is the third maneuver (and it’s a benign Hoover follow-up) that often confuses people. You can understand the stir to start the relationship again. You can understand being criticized and being gross because, after all, we’re bastards of the first order, right? However, why make the effort to get some fuel and then pull off again?
It may be because we have a reliable primary source in place but just can’t resist a sip of Hoover fuel. It may happen because circumstances make it too good to resist. There are several factors but one of the main factors is the role you are assigned after the escape/neglect.
A benign follow-up hoover who does not seek to restore a formal relationship depends on your compliance with a particular role and the fuel that flows from it. There are many different roles that could be assigned to you at this point, but here are ten.
Here are 10 types of hoof victim narcissist
- I wish you well
Any time we body you, you ask in your well known fashion how things are going, you ask about our progress at work, our health and about all other matters. You do so with the goodness of heart and nature for which you are known as an empathetic person, and while there is no torrent of raging feelings, your kindness and compassion still nourish us.
You may have estranged us greatly, but are unable to sever all ties. You know not to come back but you can’t help it but you always want to hear that we are doing well and that you can accordingly wish us well.
- The optimist
This connection gives you hope that the golden period can return. You don’t push it, because you know how that can cause us to react, but you accept our advances, our pleasure and our disdain to hear from us and you react enthusiastically, trying to keep your beating heart in check.
You see each time we “drop it” as the possibility that this time we may sweep you into our arms and bring you back again. Every time you are disappointed but this does not disappoint you and your optimism, maybe the next time will be the time?
- Comet
You feel bad that the relationship didn’t work out and that you blame yourself as much (if not more) than we do for its demise. Your status as a love interest means that you still believe that love will conquer all and that you spend your time apologizing for what you did that was wrong and what you didn’t do right.
Of course, we do nothing to get you to think anything different, and enjoy your self-flagellation that always rises to the surface whenever we come into contact with it.
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- The navel beholder
You are obsessed with understanding who you are and consider our interaction an integral part of that. You want our views and opinions on your introspection and use any communication from us as an opportunity to invite us to comment on you, no matter how brutal that may sound.
You believe that you are unable to establish who you truly are without understanding the nature of your relationship with us and every occasion we contact you again provides an opportunity for you to engage with the purpose of finding these answers. Your dependence on us builds and nourishes at the same time.
Read The Narcissist and Psychopath as Human Parasites: Are You a Host?
- The Healer
You will not give up on the idea that we can be reformed and any interaction between us results in you resuming the mantle of being that healer, putting our interests ahead of your own with the inescapable fuel that flows from your kind and compassionate behavior. . - Nymph
You hate us for what we did but the sex was so good you couldn’t resist the temptation of a late night text for some sexual interaction hoping it would lead to a fight between the sheets again.
You assert that all you want is sexual gratification and adopting this position is a form of revenge for us, but your interaction with us through sexual messages and flirting provides us with the fuel we want.
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- Tourniquet
You are not a tourniquet but you need one. You can never know what happened and every post is a fueled interrogation session about why we did what we did, why we hurt you, why we said those things, why you messed around and such. The pain stays raw and the fuel that flows from it is too good to resist. - The Old Trusted
You know you should ignore us but you can’t. These messages we send are like a nagging itch and need to be scratched really hard. Of course, we know that and consider you a reliable source for Hoover Fuel. All we need to do is send a message and she will reply one way or another, you can’t help yourself.
- The competitor
You want to come back and prove to us how good you are and what hole we let you go in the first place. You will tell us how good you will be to us, what you will do and how we will never make anyone better than you and you will do your best to convince us that you must come back into our arms.
Even if we reject you, you will not give in because your desire to be our intimate partner is huge, and so is the fuel you provide.
- The burning oil well
Your fuel flow cannot be stopped. Red Adair will never be able to put out the fire and cover the oil well. You are angry, angry, angry at the way you have been treated and you hate us.
You totally hate us. Every time we reach out to you, you take the opportunity to vent your anger on us, insult us, name us, and continue on like some crazy harpy. You think this will bother us but you don’t understand the nature of the fuel and while we might argue that everything is done to keep that burning fuel flowing.
