Physical abuse is obvious. There is tangible evidence that there is a problem and that the relationship is unhealthy. But emotional abuse takes a different form. This isn’t very obvious, and when you carry around an emotionally abusive relationship like this for a long enough period of time, you don’t even realize it.
You start to appreciate the good days and the good moments that fail to process the bad days. Because when someone loses their innocence but is so good at blaming you and playing the victim, it’s that manipulation that makes you think it’s OK.
- They constantly put you down.
Emotionally abusive partners tend to build themselves up by hitting on those around them. They never want someone to outdo them or do a better job so they won’t praise you for your accomplishments no matter how amazing they are and in your mind, they will always think that you don’t live up to their expectations.
- They say things jokingly but they are not joking.
There’s a bit of truth behind every “just kidding” and when something rolls off their acid tongue, you know they’re not kidding.
Related: The Ten Types of Victim the Narcissist Hoovers
- They tell you – you’re hypersensitive.
People who hurt them emotionally are more attracted to those who can manipulate them and walk all over them. The common trait is that the person is sensitive. But instead of taking your feelings into account, they blame you. Because you are always the problem. - It’s all about control.
Emotionally abusive partners lack control in other parts of their lives, so they try to get rid of someone they can control. They like to know everything. They love to run you around. And the moment you try to stand up for yourself or stand up for yourself, they lash out because you’re trying to get rid of their control.
Related: How To Outsmart A Narcissist In Any Conversation: 7 Tips
- They threaten you.
If you don’t do what they tell you to do, they threaten to take things away from you. This is just another way they control you. - They are the first to correct your mistakes but they will never admit their own.
When you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, you will always have this feeling as if you are walking on eggshells or someone is breathing off your back. Every mistake you make is called out. However, you would never think to do the same if the tables had turned.
Related: Why We Stay In The Wrong Relationships? 4 Reasons According To Experts
- You struggle to make decisions on your own.
When someone is constantly controlling you and telling you what to do and when to do it, you become indecisive about making any choice of your own, you freeze it. And it can vary from really basic things to major life events, about which you ask the opinions of others. - They constantly point out your flaws.
It’s hard to build yourself up and have confidence when someone is constantly beating you up. You start to hear their voices in everything. You look in the mirror and you are convinced that you would be much happier if you did not have this defect.
Related: The Narcissist and Psychopath as Human Parasites: Are You a Host?
- They struggle to apologize.
While apologies come, it is difficult for them to express them. It is difficult for them to admit that they are wrong. But they have the magic that allows them to continue the cycle of abuse. - They withdraw or leave.
They are the first to cause a scene and never make a point of something. They’ll either give you the silent treatment to try to get your attention or make you feel bad for them or they’ll be too over the top and leave hoping you’ll beg them to come back.
The need to feel wanted and needed is their goal and being able to control that narrative is what motivates them the most.
- They shut down emotionally.
While at times they are loving and caring, other times they are cold and distant. Their ability to shut down feelings and appear heartless makes having a relationship with them difficult because you just want them to be the good version of who they are all the time but you can’t love half of one person without defining who they are. Full.
Abusive relationships are hard because when you’ve been in one long enough, your standards suddenly change and you fail to see what a true relationship is like. And when you are presented with one, it’s all so unfamiliar
