One of the most common misconceptions is that narcissists only look for partners who are emotionally dependent and lack confidence and self-esteem. But in reality, strong, confident women also attract narcissists.
While this may seem strange, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are actually a mask for deep insecurity.
What appears to be an overabundance of self-confidence is actually a protective wall designed to prevent the narcissist from admitting his insecurity and lack of self-confidence.
At the same time, the narcissist uses this feeling of self-confidence and reassurance to portray an attractive persona of a confident, successful woman.
Related: 11 Ways Narcissists Use Shame To Control You
If you’re a strong, confident woman, you might be wondering, “Why am I attracted to narcissists?”
Perhaps you are looking for a man who does not need your constant support, and who has the strength and ability to manage any situation.
A self-confident woman can be swept away by an abundance of attention.
Most narcissists can be caring or focused in the early stages of dating. They have become the partner that women have always been looking for.
They do this with enough authenticity to keep up the charade for a short period of time until the relationship solidifies and they can begin to reveal their true personality.
Narcissists often feel secure with powerful partners because they have always struggled with a consistent parent figure.
When you take charge, manage life effectively, and create your own success, this becomes a magnet for narcissists.
Coupling this with your ability to show empathy and kindness creates a natural magnet for narcissists who desperately want to have these characteristics.
In addition, the narcissist sees a strong woman as a conquest. It provides him with a sense that he is equal or worthy of a relationship with someone successful, independent, and strong.
As a confident and strong woman, knowing what red flags to look for to identify a narcissist is essential. Remember, anyone can display some of these behaviors from time to time, but if they are frequent, there is likely to be a problem.
Related: 12 Ways To Handle A Narcissistic Boss (And Get Ahead In Spite Of Them)
Now that you know why strong women attract narcissists, here are 4 signs that your partner is a narcissist:
- He is the perfect master
While the new partner may be Mr. Right, there could be a problem if he seems too perfect.
The narcissist will remember what you say you like, enjoy, or have a passion for, and suddenly incorporate everything you like into his preferences, choices, and decisions.
- Pushes boundaries
A narcissist has difficulties with boundaries and may use jokes, comments, or actions to try to push your boundaries.
If you notice this and bring it up, they will try to deflect the problem, make a joke, or even blame you or someone else.
- It preys on your empathy
Through manipulation, the narcissist preys on your compassion or kindness to get his own way.
This usually involves blaming and attempts to shame you into doing what they want.
- They want to be alone all the time
Although it may sound romantic, a narcissist creates a feeling of isolation and dependency when he insists on being alone. Be careful if your new partner never wants to go out, spend time with friends, or introduce you to his friends and family.
In some cases, a narcissist may be willing to go out with you but never wants you to spend time alone with your friends and family or out of his sight.
If you believe your partner is a narcissist or has narcissistic traits, considering whether the relationship should move forward is a crucial step.
The longer a strong, confident woman stays in a relationship with a narcissist, the greater the challenge of staying away from him.
Working with a therapist to clarify your relationship needs, boundaries, and expectations is an effective way to evaluate possibilities.
This is also helpful in completely breaking up with the narcissist early in the relationship if it is not sustainable.
While a narcissist can seek counseling and make changes to become a healthier partner, this is not a common response for those with this personality disorder.
